Hello, My name is Carol and my husband Richard died Aug. 21, 2000. We were married for 28 years. He was only 47 when he died and I was 45. This May 18th will be the 3 year aniversary of when the doctor walked into Richard hospital room and gave us the bad news. I will never forget it. It was 6pm.
After doing test they told us that he had cancer of an unknown primary. He died 3 months after that hospital visit.
Richard and I were high school sweethearts. All my adult life was with Richard.
Now I am dating and I find that I feel guilty. Like I am commiting adultry. I know that I am single but I feel married. There was no break up between Richard and I. We were in love when he died. I even feel nervious and embarresed when I am out with my friend (male) and an old friends see me.
Will this ever change?
I also know that I compare other men to Richard. And I know that I will always be disappointed and unhappy if I continue to do this.
Its been almost 3 years since Richard died. When will I be able to cope with this loss?
I do miss Richard so much. Today was a bad day. I was crying almost all day, I was so lonely.
Right now my 24 year old son lives with me. I also have a granddaughter that was born after Richard died, from my daughter. She is new life and joy in our family. It is sad to me to realize that this little girl wont ever know her grandpa.
I guess I have a lot on my plate.
Can anyone relate? Please write.