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A sense of urgency

sashi
Posts: 7
Joined: Apr 2003

I've been through a lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation. My chances are the upper 90's for success. Yet I feel a sense of urgency about life. I try to cram too many things to do for fear IT will return even I've been given great odds.I wish I could slow my mind and not feel so rushed to get all of the things I want to do done. Any suggestions?
Sashi

Mosis50's picture
Mosis50
Posts: 59
Joined: Mar 2003

It is very normal to feel the way you feel. You have been through a lot of things that are very emotional. Talk to someone about your feelings. Don't try to hold them inside or feel like you are alone. There are many of us here for you and you can use this group as a vent for your feelings. I believe that God is in control and HE will provide you with the support you need. I had to talk to my doctor about how I felt (couldn't sleep and was very emotional) and he gave me medication that really helped me. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It is there for you. I will pray for you to feel a sense of calm about what you have to look forward to in your life. God Bless YOU!!! Susan

sashi
Posts: 7
Joined: Apr 2003

I've gained a good deal of weight because I think why deprive myself of the food I like when whoknows how long I have on this earth even with my excellent prognosis. 3 months after my last radiation treatment my dear mother died of recurrent breast cancer after 12 yrs. cancer free. I just can't erase all of this out of my mind.

newboobs's picture
newboobs
Posts: 127
Joined: Apr 2003

Been there, done that....got exhausted. I know exactly what you mean. I was afraid that if I slowed down then I would become weak and vulnerable to rediagnosis. How dumb is that?? You need to realize that resting and enjoying quiet time is as important as staying busy. It re-energizes your body and renews your spirit. I joined a ladies' Bible study group for "ME" time and I love it. Good luck - and relax.

cbailey
Posts: 5
Joined: May 2003

Your sense of urgency comes from your brush with your own mortality.It's normal. I have been through Chemo, mastectomy, chemo, ratiation, another mastectomy, and then a bad test result with bone mets. A month later it was fine. My suggestion for you is to do like I did after treatment, ( and I think this is exactly what you are trying to describe) My motto was" I am running from death!" I took off and prioritized everything that I wanted to do before I died. Then, one by one, I did them...It worked...I now feel complete...I got all of the "urgent" things out of the way...and do you know what happened...I was finally able to rest. i have settled down now, and things that had never occured to me as more important than the daily grind, travelling, reaching the next rung on the ladder, or money...are no longer important to me. Watching the sunsets, being open to all of the people God sends to me to help, praying for my flowers, the birds, etc. have become my restfull day. I have come to a place where God is with me each and every moment, and I live in thankfulness for every single day, and every single blessing he sends me. I am completely at peace. You are doing it too....It's the right thing to do...and when you get there...(you will get there) You will know it. Love, Carol

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