- Search CSN:
- Members: Login to search all areas
- Not a member? Click here to search public areas
Still dealing with the news!
|
|
Mar 11, 2003 - 8:21 pm
I am a 46 year old male. My 86 year old Mother was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 stomach cancer about 4 weeks ago. I am devastated, and going through alot of emotions right now including "cancer anger", which I call it because I am angry that it could strike someone who loves life so, and who is so happy and upbeat. The other aspect I hate is that usually by the time stomach cancer shows its ugly head its sometimes too late, as in my Mothers case. She has had about 3 opinions, and as of now does not wish to deal with chemo or radiation because she feels so good she says. Of course its hard to assign a time frame for her, and one thing I am having alot of trouble with right now is approaching her with things I have always wanted to say to her, but up until now I haven't. I haven't got a clue as to how to begin this talk, and I am afraid I won't be able to handle it emotionally at the time. Any thoughts anyone? |
Joined: Dec 2002
My mom told me I would never be ready to lose her, no matter when it was. I know that time doesn't wait for anyone, so just say what you have to say before it's too late. You can just easily start out with "You know mom, I've always wanted to tell you _________". She won't be surprised that you have things to say if she knows she is terminal and her time left is unknown. Don't live with the regret of not saying what you need to say. My mom is still alive and is on the chemo trying to extent her life, she's only 66. I say what I feel needs to be said to her everyday. I don't bring up the past of things that can't be changed, but I let her know all of the positive things that she has pasted onto me and what I am grateful to her for.
Make everyday count and have good times and laughs together.
I hope she has lots of time left.
Joined: Mar 2003
Your message really struck home with me. My dad, the life of the party, was diagnosed with stomach cancer in May 2001. During the surgery to put in a feeding tube, the surgeon discovered it had spread and there was really no hope for him. We were given a time frame of a month, and my mo