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This time it's a close friend

moonhowler
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi, A close friend/childrens God Father has just been diagnosed with lung cancer. I want to help but I don't know how. I lost my 2nd dad to lung cancer in 1990. My biological dad died 3 weeks after his diagnosis with leukemia. A cousin that I played with as a child died from brain cancer. I just lost two aunts, my list goes on. My family and I spent Chrismas day with a close friend. He's the father of 6 young adult children. I got a phone call the 2nd week of January saying he was in the hospital dx'd with lung cancer. He had surgery to put in a shunt for drainage but is still unable to undergo treatments, the bleeding has to stop first. I want to help, to be supportive but don't know how. When my dad was sick with Leukemia we needed help but didn't know how or who to ask. While we appreciated everyone who called they also got in the way. I had to answer the phone because my mother was having to take care of my dad. I spent 18 hrs a day on the phone. Although we were thankful for the support many of the calls were annoying. My dad had been given the prognosis of 10 days. People would call twice a day everyday to ask how he was. Until the day before he died there was little change. How can I help my friends family without being annoying. We used to be neighbors but live 2 hrs apart. I know answering the phone is difficult, his wife only understands a little English. We don't want to be in the way but I don't want to get a call to attend a funeral & that be the last time we see him.

bobz1
Posts: 50
Joined: Apr 2002

Hi having been there, what i would do is call once to find out how things were going. If he can and wants visitors, make plans to go to see him. Stay just a short time,unless he is is feeling good.then from then on send him a card every day, or every other day. Cards and Prayrs mean alot. Hope that helped you a bit Bobz1

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