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Apology to all of you...

sevey
Posts: 185
Joined: Aug 2002

Dear All,
Please accept my humble and deepest apology for my latest episode of acting so chidish. I am feeling so bad about it all that I have been beating myself up inside. I really don't know why I have been acting this way and although I asked the Lord to forgive me; it seems that I can't forgive myself. I should acknowledge that I have been wrong to a lot of people on this site and believe me I feel very bad about it. I can't change what I did yesterday and before that and so on.
All I can do is not allow it to happen with each new day. Tomorrow is not promised and yesterday is gone. I am so sorry that I have been venting my frustrations to a lot of people. I have been really ill, and I guess I allowed it to controll my behavior. So if I made a rude or caustic remark to any one of you I ask for you to please forgive me and don't give up on me. I don't know of any other way I can say this aside from this humble apology. I promise that I won't do it again guys, so please accept this apology. All I have done lately is alienate myself and sounded like sour grapes. I could go on and on with this, but I won't. Some of you know that I have been having a rough time both on the computer and with this illness. I am not the only one that has been having a rough time. Anyone dealing with this disease has, and I am including care takers as well.
Can I expect you to forgive me ? With the unpredictable way I have been acting I would say NO! All I can do is pour my heart out to you and allow the Lord to do the rest. I get so weary that I don't know where to go with it all. One thing is for certain!!! I do not need to attack the very people who do understand what I am going through..... Please give me another chance ? I am so very sorry to all of you, and I have been praying for others so much that I forgot myself in the process. This is coming from the bottem of my heart and really is hard. Instead of dealing with physical pain like I should be I have been behaving like a tyrant... I guess I should just shutup now and live it. Be a positive example as opposed to the way I have been acting...Once again I am sorry and please forgive me. May you all Be Blessed in Jesus Name. I do love you and I am sorry.
Gods Love Peace & Joy
Love Cathy

grandma
Posts: 162
Joined: Feb 2002

Hi Cathy, I can't speek for the rest, but I understand where you are coming from, My Husband, Larry is taking med. that makes him behave differently at times. Grouchy, emotional, happy one sec. then mad again. I know it is the med. that makes him this way, so I just pray for strength and understanding and for help to get me thru the moment.
so as far as I'm concerned, vent as much as you like. and I hope it makes you feel better.
I don't have to agree to what you say, but I will listen anytime. LOVE (((HUGS)))& PRAYERS Flo

sevey
Posts: 185
Joined: Aug 2002

Flo,
Thankyou very much. I don't expect you to agree with everything I say.... Why we just would'nt be individuals then would we? The world would be a very boring place indeed. But I do appreciate your response...........Thankyou
Gods Peace
Love Cathy

hummingbyrd's picture
hummingbyrd
Posts: 965
Joined: Sep 2002

Hey girl, quit beating yourself up, apology not needed, but will accept anyway. I KNOW your going through a stressfull time right now. I continue to pray for the docs to have the wisdom to medicate you properly and for the perfect place for you to call home be provided soon. I know, by faith, it will all happen. Remember back when you weren't living with your sister and how everything just fell into place? God will take care of you now, but on His time schedule. I'm praying it will be sooon!
Now lighten up on yourself, God has forgiven you for any sin you have confessed. PTL I certainly have no room to throw stones, or my glass house would shatter! LOL Besides like I said, I don't feel you've done anything to me that needs forgiving. The hard part now is to forgive yourself, but you have to, if you don't you're arguing with God. That's how it was explained to me. If we don't forgive ourselves, in essence we are saying our Heavenly Father was wrong to forgive us. Now ya know ya don't want to argue with God! Besides, not forgiving yourself for whatever reason just opens the door for Satan to hit you with shame, guilt, fear...so slam that door on Satan and open your heart to Jesus. There you'll find unconditional love and safety. Wow! Dear Lord pour out your grace and mercy over Cathy, provide her with proper medical attention and a place to call home....and hold her close in your loving arms so that she may know and feel your love and strength. All these things I ask in Jesus' name. Amen

marytres's picture
marytres
Posts: 145
Joined: May 2002

Hi Cathy, don't worry about it. We're all in the same boat and know that at times we can be unbearable. I, for example, don't answer much on the site because I like to "hear" others since I like to learn more and listen to what others have to say. Sometimes, I just don't feel like replying because I'm not in the mood. I suffer from depression and it gets to me. Don't need to be forgive. Just hang in there. My prayers go out to you and everyone on the site. Hugs, Marie

sevey
Posts: 185
Joined: Aug 2002

Dear Mari & Hummingbyrd,
Won't get a chance with this computer untill late tonight, so here I am at 6:00am. I wanted to say thankyou to both of you..Thankyou Humminbyrd for your usual reminder of Our Lord and ofcourse your right about me not forgiving myself. That is Jesus job and I certaintly don't want to argue with Our Lord. Mari thankyou for being so sweet and understanding as well. I really have been alienating myself and ofcourse laying groundwork for the enemy. Well I blasted him right out of the picture after posting this apology.... I need you guys and I will get in that chatroom soon. God bless you guys annd thanks again for helping me feel even stronger. Hummingbyrd thankyou for the prayer and keep me in your prayers. Yes I do remember the other place before coming here and God did open those doors for me. He has been doing this all along throughout my life... I just need to learn to be slow to speak and quick to listen...Especially when it comes to the Lord as well as His vessels. I love you guys and deeply appreciate your kindness as well as thoughtfulness......
Gods Loving Peace & Joy
Love Cathy

isaiah4031
Posts: 243
Joined: Jun 2001

Dearest Cathy,
This site is a safe haven for all of us...to cry, to vent, to express whatever is in us..because we all DO understand. You are not the only one who has posted something that was reflective of your emotions at the time. You are a sister in the Lord. Nothing will change that. Love bears no wrong, remember? Let go of the guilt...that's Satan whispering lies to you...that those who you need and love will care for you less now and possibly even abandon you. Not true! Remember that Satan is the father of lies, and we rebuke him and his minions in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Stand firm in the armor of God and lift high your shield of faith. Rebuke those fiery darts and know that you are loved by us. Proclaim it loud and long that you are a child of the King and part of His family! Nothing can take that away. Forgiven? Taken care of at the cross. Loved? Every minute of every day...by us, but most importantly, by the Lord. Have peace this moment and know that you are loved.
Hugs and prayers,
Jayne

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