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IN NEED OF SOME SUPPORT

kelli63
Posts: 84
Joined: Apr 2002

TO ALL OF MY SISTERS IN THIS FIGHT:
I AM HAVING A AREALLY ROUGH TIME DEALING WITH THE FACT I AM SO FAR FROM MY FAMILY. I HAVE HAD THE BLUES FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. IM TIRED OF CRYING AND CHARLIE IS REALLY STARTING TO WORRY.

HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPP

KELLY

karbear
Posts: 166
Joined: Aug 2001

Kelly, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a terrible time,thats all you need !! Its one thing after another it seems in this fight......it is very depressing..just remember that we are all here for you and we are all in this together,no matter how big or small we think our problems are!!! It is very hard moving ,I know what you're going through,although I was lucky that my mother and dad,brother and his family moved two weeks before we did to the same place, It was very hard leaving my sister and my other brother and neices and nephews,my husbands whole family,etc..etc...and my bestest friend in the whole wide world !!! WE still talk everyday ,all day,there are alot of phone plans out there to save you $$$$ and the computer was great to help with the home sickness..i chatted with all my friends and neighbors..and guess what??they all have a place to visit !! We have plans to meet half way and make a vacation of it...my inlaws are coming here for winter months from back north ..so we see them now more than we did when we lived back home...lol..Just remember that it takes time to adjust and one thing I did was I just look around at my new surroundings and couldn't believe that I get to experience a whole new life here..when I'm on the beaches its like "holy cow I can't believe I live here " Just remember it takes time and talk about it ..it helps,it was really hard for me cause I had moved two years prior to my diagnoses and my best friend was so far away,she did come to see me and take care of my family after surgery,but I hated to say goodbye..phone calls at all hours helped out a bunch..i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...hang in there kelly, you got through Cancer and you'll get through this!! you're tough !!!!!! god bless,karin

bdean
Posts: 262
Joined: Feb 2001

Dear Kelly:
When you are not feeling your best, is when getting homesick gets the worse. Please try to find something to keep you occupied. Can you have a pet where you live? Even a few goldfish swimming around gives you something to take care of. An animal is really a life savior when you are far from home.
I am less than two hours from my hometown, but parents, etc. are too old now to come or siblings are too busy. I have only had a few visitors in all of this time, except for neighbors or former co-workers. I have never felt down about this, because I do have the world's best husband. My God is always with me to keep me at peace.
I love to listen to music or read a good book when my husband is at work and I don't have any urgent chores.
Just remember the best way to beat the blues is to get busy and stay busy. How about a new hobby? Write about your feelings in a diary, and then leave the bad feelings there, but take the good ones with you. Do you sew, crochet, knit, play a musical instrument? I am sure you can find something that interests you and would be time consuming.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs from Brenda

shirlann
Posts: 235
Joined: Oct 2001

Hi, Kelly for goodnrdd sake get on anti-depressants. I don't know what I would have done without them. My husband and I were in such a state my Doc put us BOTH on them. They are not addictive but take 3 to 6 weeks to work. You can stop them in a year or two when you get your feet back under you. Trust me please, they are a gift from God. Gentle hugs, Shirlann

banker
Posts: 321
Joined: May 2002

Hi Kelly, sorry to hear you have the blues, I know what that is like. I live an ocean away from my imediate family, my parents are gone now, my brother is in Germany where I am from. I deal with these "blues" by thinkin how lucky I am to be alive, cancer and all. Sure its tough sometimes, but we have to keep going. You have come a long way, you will overcome the "blues" too, once you get used to your new suroundings. I happen to like antiques and collectibles. Do you?? there must be some great fleamarkets in Calif. They are lots of fun. Keeping busy is your best bet, you can always talk to us, we're here to listen. Get your chin up, think of all you have acomplished so far, you can do it. Keep posting so we know how you are doing. Lots of hugs coming your way...Love Emmi

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

Know how you feel Kelly
Took me 5 years to get to that point was busy fighting for life through that time and family and friends came out to see me so busy. Now my parents not well and can't travel as much so see them less. I see my brother a couple times of year his inlaws out here. Knew that moving out here. Just means you love them Kelly and moving away is very hard when very close. I moved away from my friends and family I had most of my life. If you need Kelly get on an anti depresant if that is the case can help they say. Charlie has reason to worry cause he loves you too. I suggest you get into some deep breathing calming meditation. I found this and a support group so things are a little better.
Be good to yourself,
Tara

iris48's picture
iris48
Posts: 92
Joined: May 2002

Hello Kelly,
I too find sometimes I fall into that depression hole. These are some of the things that has been working for me:
I stopped eating sugar
white flours, white rice, milk
no coffee (or decafe occasionally)
What I have done is take Vitamin E (the natural one) 800 strength, Borage oil,
Carlson's Lemon Cod Liver Oil, Flaxseed Oil, Evening Primrose. These give you the omega 3 oils the body needs and the benefits are they are anti-inflammatory so your muscle/joints stop aching, they mood lift naturally. You need to read online: Dr. Mercola, Dr. John R. Lee, Dr. Atkins etc.
Find things that you have a passion for doing. I read, sculpt, and just screwed 28 kitchen knobs and installed 14 drawer handles. I'm sweaty, the floor now has saw dust, I'm tired and achy and at the same time elated that I accomplished something today.
At least you have sisters, I am an only child and all of our children are all over the US, so it's just my husband and me.
I bought flannel fabric, made a paper pattern and when I have the strength am planning to my the heart shaped pillows that are gently stuffed and give them to the Cancer outreach center here so someone like you will know someone like me cares. Write me : iriskraft8@netscape.net
Iris

gloria928
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2002

Kelly - Crying isn't so bad. Sometimes its just something we all need to do. But its okay. The hardest part is getting past it. This is something we all have to go through, I did it by returning to work, and doing my favorite past times. Yes its hard when your family isnt nearby for support, but it is just as difficult when they are close by. Try going and do something that always made you happy and relaxed. You need to release the stress your under and I hope that you can find something to release it soon. Best of luck. Love Gloria

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