My mother was first diagnosed in 1998 with breast cancer. I was only 10 or 11, so my initial thoughts were nothing short of death. I had no idea what to do. At that point I just wanted to run. to get away. I wanted to just leave forever. Every night, I could do nothing but cry myself to sleep. As I cried I wondered "why me? Why do I have to go through this incredible epidemic of events." You know you here about it in the media and never really pay any attention until it happens to you. Anyways, after going through the most mentally draining month of my life, I did get a break. Tamoxifen. My mother had already had mastectomy, however as an insurance she had to take Tamoxifen. We were all so grateful she wouldn't need chemotherapy. This was just wonderful. All we could think was "we win, we win." She'll just take the pill, beat the desease and move on!
Well it wasn't that easy, in the fall of last year my mother was diagnosed a second time. This time we weren't as lucky. I was almost 14 and my sister was 15. So we of course had grown a little gaining maturity, but not knowing if your mom will be alive the next day, is an incredible burden for anyone at any age. This time her cancer was evasive, meaning it would spread if not dealt with. So they first went in to try to remove the cancer. X-rays showed failure though. So they tried again. Failure. They then decided to go in a third time would be too risky. Instead they would put her through multiple radiation and chemo treatments. Once again I can't explain the kind of mental strain the whole house had to deal with. However, this time things were different in my mother's attitude.
My mother couldn't go a week without considering giving up. She would always cries or yells about just giving up. She feels she almost has nothing to live for. My whole family tries to support her, but it's just not working! There's often nothing we can do to control depression. She is already on a strong anti-depressant called Zoloft. Not menchen my sister and I are teens wanting a life. I know we need to be there for her and forget about ourselves but it's hard. Most of all I'd like to know what my mother can do to control or even cease her deep depressions.
Thank you soooo much for listening to my tale and please, please reply.