CSN Login
Members Online: 19

Bummer day

banker
Posts: 321
Joined: May 2002

Well I am having a bummer day and just wanted to talk to people that know what it is like going through this. Somtimes I get the feeling from the people at work (I am off right now) they think I am having a great time beeing off. They only see me on my good days, not when I am sick right after chemo. I had one good weekend since my 1st chemo in May,I was sooooo happy and told them,so they figure I have a wonderful time. Yeah, I guess they expect me to just sit around and feel sorry for myself.???? I have decided not to stop in at work anymore. Now my Onc. has put me on antibiotics Cipro and Amoxicillin and daily shots of Neupogen to get my bloodcount up for chemo on Thurs. I give the shots myself cause my Onc. lives in the city 2 hrs away. So far so good. Sure glad I have a understanding husband who has been there for me. When I had chemo 3 1/2 years ago I did not need shots, so all of this I think is getting to me. Glad you girls are good listeners, had to talk to somebody. I think I will enjoy the day, the sun is shining the birds are singing and I think I feel better already. God bless you all. Thanks for listening. Love Emmi

nasa2537
Posts: 317
Joined: Apr 2002

Hi Emmi...you should invite the co-workers over after chemo so they can help you! LOL!!! I agree that it is difficult for others to know what you're going through. I remember the fatigue with my radiation, and how people just thought I could clean house, shop, and still have time to play since I don't work. God forbid that they have to get the disease to understand it! I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but it really would be nice sometimes for them to be able to see you when you're down. I, too, have a wonderful husband who was a rock for me through it all, even though I know he was crashing inside...it was tough on him, too, I know, but I thank God for him every day. I hope all goes well with the chemo coming up. You just worry about taking care of you right now. And, while you're at it, make up a chart for the co-workers so they know when their day to help you is! LOL!!! Some day, you will be all done with this, so they'll have you back soon enough. Just don't worry about them, and do what you have to do for you!!! God bless....Cyndi

banker
Posts: 321
Joined: May 2002

Thanks Cyndi, I appreciate your kind words. We don't wish this illness on anyone, but sometimes ......... Oh well, I am hanging in there...I know it will get better. Thanks again, love Emmi

jeancmici
Posts: 682
Joined: Feb 2001

Hi Emmi,

I thought I was a well-informed person on health matters, but I found after getting cancer that I had been quite ignorant!!

Used to think if I would have cancer, get rid of BOTH breasts and go back on the Premarin and on with life.

Boy, chemo never entered my mind ! I remember when I heard one node positive - still for a few minutes did not realize that chemo was in MY future too.

What I just said helps me deal with people who had no idea what it was like. It helps me forgive their ignorance remembering mine.

Hope the weather is as beautiful south of Buffalo as it is here.

Best wishes,
Jean

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

I have heard it said many times through my battles in my recovery it is hard for others to understand the pain that cancer patients suffer because it is on a cellular level, too deep to imagine. People have always looked at me and said how much I have never looked like someone who has had all the problems I have had. I am not sure what I am suppose to look like but all my pain and illness is on the inside and cause I get up in the morning and shower and try to carry on with life the best I can, doesn't change the pain I suffer. Funny, but sometimes a barrier even for the doctors.
Be good to yourself,
Tara

banker
Posts: 321
Joined: May 2002

Thanks Tara, yeah I know what you mean, what are we supposed to look like, ??? We try our best to carry on, you are so right. Having all of you to listen is a great help, I feel better now, looking forward to tomorrow. God bless you. Love Emmi

ludasue
Posts: 98
Joined: Apr 2002

Hi Emmi! Bless your heart! I have been there. I remember one time during my chemo, I was having a good week b/c I had not had a treatment for about 2 weeks ... anyway, I took my children to see a movie and ran into a co-worker. Before I knew it, they were all talking about me and saying things like 'if she feels well enough to go to the movies, she ought to be able to work'. They never could understand that going thru chemo, you have to seize any moment that you do feel good b/c those moments are so few and far between. I eventually ended up hating them all for their ignorance. It took a long time for me to get past the anger and hurt I felt. Like you, I took the cipro and amoxi, along with daily neupogen shots ... yuck!!! I just hate that you are having to deal with stupid people! They should be counting their blessing that they have NO IDEA what you are going thru instead of kicking you while you are down!!! Hang in there ... you can always talk to us sisters ... b/c we all know how you feel. You go enjoy this day, and the next, and the next ... don't even waste your precious time on simple minded idiots and there stupid opinions! God bless you ... hugs and kisses ... angie

banker
Posts: 321
Joined: May 2002

Thanks angie, I think I will kick butt.....Ha ha. I feel better already knowing out there are people like me, yes good days are far and few between. I hope I feel good tomorrow, I am gonna do want I want to do and have some fun. Thanks for your inspiration. I love you guys. God bless you. Love Emmi

karbear
Posts: 166
Joined: Aug 2001

Emmi, I hear ya about your bummer day! I have many of those. Its so hard all of this and people don't understand unless they have been through it. You want to be strong but somedays I think it catches us! I hope that you can rid those "bummer days"..we are all here for each other..god bless!! karin

banker
Posts: 321
Joined: May 2002

Thanks Karin, I love all of you. Nice to get some understanding. I feel much better now.Looking forward to tomorrow, maybe go fleamarketing,maybe I will find a treasure ???
God bless you . Hugs Emmi

wgbgb
Posts: 7
Joined: Apr 2002

Cancer can sure wreak havoc on our emotions and it is great that we have this place to go to. I hope your blood gets back to normal soon. I had the same problem and had to give myself neupogen shots too. It seems like if one thing doesn't bother you for awhile, something else crops up. I'm finished with treatment and my hair is back. Thick and curly. Which is something I've always wanted....I still have aches and pain and I think it is arthritis or inflamation of joints when I don't move enough. I'm sure your co-workers don't understand and I think it is hard to until you go through it. Enjoy tomorrow and every day after. God is truly
good and He has you in the palm of his hand.Take care.....Wendy from Green Bay.

banker
Posts: 321
Joined: May 2002

Thank you Wendy, I know I am not alone.I appreciate your message to me. I feel better now, looking forward to tomorrow. God bless you. Love Emmi

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network