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In remission as of May 11, 2002

michele31
Posts: 5
Joined: May 2002

Hi, my name is Michele, 31 years of age, mother of a 22 month old boy, and I had non-hodgkins lymphoma, stage 1, diagnosed in November 2000. I had three chemotherapy treatments (CHOP) and 20 treatments of radiation.

Before this all happened, I was a pretty healthy person, except when I returned home from my honeymoon in June of 1999. My WBC was 15,000 and I was sick all of the time.

I had my first child in July of 2000 and found the swollen lymph node in October of 2000 as well. I waited about a month before going to my primary care physician for fear that I in fact had cancer.

Since being in remission, I have been having a really hard time accepting the fact that I had cancer and find myself mad all of the time and angry as well; and at times depressed....

I was wondering if anyone out there has been having the same feelings as myself.

I would greatly appreciate anyone e-mailing me and giving me some support....

My husband and family were very supportive at the time that I was undergoing chemo and radiation, but now I feel that I need ALOT MORE HEALING!!!!!!!!! No one could possibly understand and relate to what I am going through unless they have also undergone what I have gone through.

My e-mail address is michele.cerami@verizon.net.

Thanks everyone for reading this post and I hope to hear from anyone soon.

Take care and everyone STAY WELL AND HEALTHY!!!!!!!!

Michele

melzmom
Posts: 47
Joined: Apr 2002

Michele:

I've written to you on your personal e-mail account. I feel exactly the way you do. Although it is getting better. My family and friends were wonderful during the treatment but now.... The phone has stopped ringing and the offers have stopped coming in. I am not so much mad but in shock over what we went though. What a horrible thing! One day you're minding your own business and the next you're meeting with an oncologist! I keep telling myself that the past six months were spent getting rid of the cancer and the next step is to heal emotionally. I don't know how to do that! I just don't. I find peace in spending time with my family (husband of 11 years and 7 year old daughter). I also am finding some peace in going back to work. I am busy there and since I wasn't working during the treatment I can almost forget the cancer.. Does that make sense? It is like I was the person before I met with an oncologist. I just keep shaking my head. I was so excited to be done with treatment and to get my life back but the cancer is still wining! I am depressed, over weight and I can't sleep.
My e-mail is Arogers899@aol.com. Please write me back.
Hang in there and take care!
In health,
Lia

ricejf1
Posts: 6
Joined: Apr 2002

Dear Michele,

I just read your message and wanted to send
a reply to you. I was diagnosed with stage
1 non-hodgkins lymphoma in Nov. of 1996, I
was a 43 yr. old wife and mother of two boys
age 11 and 14. I have done just fine ever
since completing 3 months of chemo which I
received every 10 days and a month of radiation. When I first completed my treatments I cried like a baby I felt I would
be OK as long as I was receiving treatment but once it was finished all my fears came
rushing in. I think that things happened so fast the surgery to remove the lump in my neck the unbelievable diagnosis and then the
treatments that I don't think I really thought about everything until it was over,
then the real fear set in! It has gotten better as time goes on, it's been 6 years now and they say once you make it to 5 your
considered "cured". Not that it's not in the
back of my mind, if I feel a pain I immediately think is something wrong? Now I
find myself going through another strange time. I work at a grade school and one of the teachers that I was very close to was
diagnosed with colon cancer last spring and passed away in Nov. he was married with 4 small children. We lost a very good friend and neighbor to leukemia at the age of 36 who was married with two children, in fact his kids were very close with our two boys.
In the last month I learned that the lady
who had my job at school and a 4th grade boy at my school were both just diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. Now I'm checking my
neck all the time and worrying that my lymphoma is going to come back. I've never been this way before I've always been very
positive but I must admit that this is getting to me. You just don't really realize the deep and lasting effects of going
through something like this. Well I've gone on way too long but I do understand your feelings. I'm no psychologist but having been through this I think what you're feeling is fear and I think that is very normal. Once you've had cancer life is never
the same but I can say the experience was really a very positive one for me in a lot of ways, I do appreciate life so much more now, I just look at things differently. Not that I don't slide every now and then but all in all I wouldn't trade my experience for anything - I just don't want to go through it again!

I'd love to hear back from you! Sorry I went
on so long.

Jeanine
E-mail address: Ricejf1@aol.com

Jeanine

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