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It's Scary Out Here Isn't It?

wsmsilva
Posts: 19
Joined: May 2002

After surviving for 10 years, I had a reoccurrence diagnosed last January. Just finished 4 rounds of chemo and will start taxatere treatment next week. Any advice on what to expect with taxatere. Anyone else feel like their life is totally out of control? I feel like I'm going through the motions but living in a deam world.

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

Yes it is very scary out here even without any reoccurances. I am sorry you have had to go through so much, it must be very hard going through the second time especially knowing what to expect.
Hang in there with us and with each others shoulders to cry on things may seem a bit more realistic. Going through the motions is good, sometimes the best we can do.
Be good to yourself,
Tara

bullfrog13's picture
bullfrog13
Posts: 216
Joined: Apr 2002

well more like a nightmare on most days... I wish you the best of luck.. email if you want to ''compare notes" I haven't been on taxatere but i think many in here have...

ribbitfrog13@icqmail.com

jmears
Posts: 270
Joined: Jul 2001

How did you react when you got the news of the reoccurrence? Was it as hard as the first diagnosis? What treatments did you have 10 years ago? Some things have changed in 10 years. I did 4 AC treatments and 4 Taxotere. The Taxotere was different but no worse than the AC. I took steroids before during and after to counter the side-effect of pain in the joints. It helps some. My head was sore like a bruse a couple days after each treatment. My hair actually started to grow back during the Taxotere treatments. I gave control of my treatments over to my doctor. I went through the motions ... then when treatment was done I was really scared ... and I was not at all in control of my body. I gained weight I looked awful ... got depressed. I'm better now. Hang in there! Let us know how you make out. Jamie

ludasue
Posts: 98
Joined: Apr 2002

Hi! I am only a 4 year survivor so far. I have not had a recurrence, but I have had several scares. I feel like it is all out of my control, because it is. I try not to dwell on it, but I do find myself subconsiously always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My friends and family keep saying 'you've almost made it to 5 years'. I guess they don't understand how little that means. It is always with me that it can come back anywhere, anytime. I'm so sorry that you are having to face this again. Hang in there and remember we are all here for you. Best wishes, hugs and kisses and prayers your way, Angie

shirlann
Posts: 235
Joined: Oct 2001

Hi, Angie, yeah, what a laugh that 5 year mark is! People don't understand that BC is a systemic cancer. We are never "cured", but after having toenail cancer, hair cancer and elbow cancer, I still get squirelly when I have any pain or ache. I hate it. God bless you, you are not alone! Hugs & Kisses, Shirlann (PS, However, if you survive 5 years, 80% of us will NOT have any more trouble)

ktinkey
Posts: 173
Joined: Mar 2001

Hello,

I can't help you with the chemo question, but I can empathise with the recurrence. I made it almost 9 years, when I was rediagnosed in 98. Stage IV this time. Going through treatment takes over your life for awhile, but I refused to let it define who I am. You will get your life back. Concentrate on the good things around you and your support system. Keep your attitude up as best you can, but cry when you need to. My husband has been the best and we are closer now than ever, having weathered this storm together. Talk to someone about your feelings. We are all here for you. You will find at least one woman, but I bet several, that you will just click with, and make a lasting friendship. I'm usually on the site everyday, except weekends, so feel free to contact me.

God Bless,
Kathy

wsmsilva
Posts: 19
Joined: May 2002

Hi Kathy,

Thanks so much for your message. I am really low right now and looking for the "somthing" that will help me get through all this. I do have a wonderful group of family and friends that are trying so hard to help. I still feel isolated and lonely and getting on this network has brought some tears but it helps much to know that there are other women out there that really understand how I feel.

Hope to hear from you soon. And, take care of yourself.

Mary

shirlann
Posts: 235
Joined: Oct 2001

Hi, dear sister, in Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book she makes a very distinct separation between "recurrence" and "metastases". Recurrence is a damn nuisance but your life expectancy is no worse than the origninal diagnosis. Mets are another matter. So, if it is recurrence, just hang in there, life will straighten out and be fine. Your original cancer must have been a very slow grower, good news. God love you, hugs, Shirlann

nasa2537
Posts: 317
Joined: Apr 2002

Hi...I'm sorry, I can't relate to chemo or recurrence (I was just diagnosed in August, and had lumpectomy & radiation & tamoxifen). But, I do want you to know that I am here to support you in your treatment. I do know what you mean about going through the motions, and feeling like it's a dream world...it's like it's not really happening to you. Try to keep a positive attitude, because all treatments go so much better if you do.Each treatment you have is one more step to being done. I wish you all the best. Cyndi

mmtrks6
Posts: 3
Joined: May 2002

I just finished 6 treatments of taxatere, the main thing I found with taxatere was the aches and pain that came about two days after treatment, it felt like you had the flu, the other was I had to take decadron before each treatment, because taxatere can make your legs and hands tingle and become numb. I know that it made my toenails all turn black, (I didn't lose them, just look like I was trying to wear black nailpolish.)
I do know how you feel about being in a dream world, I had just been to the doctors in July of 2001 and had the normal blood checkup and overall by the onocologist and all was ok, but in September of 2001 I found two lumps one on each breast in new site (I was first diagnosed in October of 1996 with one lump) this time it was also in the lymph nodes. Of course everyone keeps asking me how does it come back All I can say is How is the h____ do I know. God Bless and Take care

wsmsilva
Posts: 19
Joined: May 2002

Thanks for geting back to me. I got little booklet from the dr. about taxotere but I'm learning not to trust all I read. I know I need to do this but it is so hard and I feel so alone. I have a support group of wonderful family and friends, however, they're not the ones getting the drugs and dealing with the the side effects. Did the taxotere make you sick? The AC treatments made me very ill for a few days. The nurse told me that taxotere usually doesn't cause nausea. Please take care.

dcaf
Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2002

Just finished my treatments last month with Taxatere. Was fortunate, main problem I had with it was major enhancement of radiation - hurt to swallow, VERY acid stomach. Had to finally take Prevacid for my stomach, but pretty much gone now. Not much appetite. Just remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good Luck!

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