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How to cope

ljcj
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2002

Hello everyone. My husband was diagnosed with liver cancer almost six months ago. He is 33 and we have a 10 month old son. His cancer is of an unknown primary that delivered it to his liver. We've been taking chemo and there has been a significant amount of shrinkage but what concerns me most is this "unknown primary." We never thought that something like this would happen so early in our lives and it's been very hard on me. My husband has a great attitude about this but I'm living in "denial". I feel safer there for the time being. Would someone please help me with coping and getting through this?

cking169
Posts: 6
Joined: Apr 2002

Hello. As a family member to a liver cancer patient, I understand your position. I am 35 and my husband is 37, my husband's sister, 41, was diagnosed one month ago. They show her cancer to be stemming from the Lung's and it progressed to liver, bone and brain. What was told to me as terminal, is really interesting. She is better now than when she was first diagnosed. Many family members have been out running the malls with her and shopping often. The immediate 10 radiation treatments to the brain and spine caused only minimal nausea and weakness. The medicines, I feel, were what made her appear to be a "zombie". Doctors won't do chemo because of her petite body and low weight. Attitude and prayer are going much farther than medical reasoning or prognosis. Humor is the best medicine for any ailment. I guess no one ever realized that most every famous comedian (real one - not foul mouth comedy) lived to be 90-100, even considering their lifestyle choices and eating habits. As for the denial, How does anyone accept a medical death sentence? Live each day and love each day. My prayers are with you.

wshanon
Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2002

You sound like you're in the same situation I'm in. My husband is 33 and was diagnosed with primary liver cancer 2 years ago. We were so fortunate in that his volleyball size tumor was resectable. We went to Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas, TX. Dr. Robert Goldstine performed the surgery--his specialty is liver tranplantation. My husband had his entire right lobe and most of his left lobe removed. Cancer cells were found in his blood stream, and we're just waiting for a tumor to grow. I don't know if you would really call what I've got "denial". My husband's attitude about everything has been so great it's sometimes sickening. I on the other hand have been totally obsessed. I'm afraid I've pushed for so many medical test to be run on him, I guess because I'm scared to death how and when it will return. I'm never satisfied when the blood test is normal, I'm just afraid of what they missed. It's been 2 years now, and not a day goes by that I don't wonder if this will be the day he dies. I know that's a terrible way to live and that I should be taking advantage of the time we have together, but I feel I have to prepare myself for the inevitable--emotionally at least. I'm scared to be alone. We have an 8 year old, and I don't want to raise him by myself. Today, we got some blood work back that wasn't very good, and this afternoon he goes for more scans. I know this is a terrible thing to say, but I almost hope they find something, because the not knowing if terrifying. Do you ever feel this way? Can your husband be operated on?

labrock
Posts: 3
Joined: Jan 2003

First I need to ask how you husband is? And how are you? I know it's very hard. I was 33 when I was diagnosed too and also don't know where it originated from. Sounds alot like your husband. It's hard to say how to cope because each person is different. But I can honestly say I got through it through the grace of GOD. I was very fortunate to have found the Lord before I was diagnosed but I can truly say that my church family helped me through this trial more than friends I've had for years. Please email me at lovin2labs@aol.com and let discuss further. I would love to help and would also need a friend to share this trial with. God Bless

elithehoff
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2004

Hi - I would like to talk to you if possible. I am 32 and just had half of my liver removed. My recovery isn't going well. I had colon cancer when I was 17 and that was a piece of cake compared to this. I think I have the whole praying for me, but yet I still feel so alone. Any words of advice would be helpful right now.
THanks,
ELi

mamasgirl
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2003

Hello, I am going in tomorrow morning for a needle biopsy on a tumor the size of a grapefruit that was found in my liver while doing a routine ultrasound on my gallbladder. I felt that I wanted to respond to you because of your husbands age. I am 34yrs old, and I was hoping to find out how your husband is now, and if you can give me any advise.

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