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she would have been 32...

juliessister
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2002

today would have been my sister julie's 32nd birthday...she died 1 year, 1 month, 3 weeks, and 2 days ago...of cervical cancer which spread to her liver. I've counted down every single day since she died...and I made good progress all day today and I finally just broke down...I miss her so much...she was my idol and I miss her so much...everday i think about her...I wish there was something I could have done to help her...but I guess we all feel that way dont we?

crtsang
Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2000

I think we all do feel that way. My mother died about six months ago, and the week before last would have been her 76th birthday. She at least had a chance to live her life.
I'm sure you did for her all that you could do, and that's the most anybody can give. You probably know that. In a way, I probably just wish I could have prevented her death...silly, but there you have it.

natlousha
Posts: 6
Joined: Apr 2002

I am new at this so bare with me. I can't imagine how you feel. I think your sister would want you to make her proud. We cannot control these awful circumstances but you are doing the right thing. Here, you will find the support you need and maybe you can help others through ther hard times. I believe that your sister is in a better place now! If you need to talk I will listen. Natlousha

strength
Posts: 8
Joined: Apr 2002

I understand what your going through. I also have a sister who i admire. My best friend just lost her dad and were both a reck. Ive never had cancer before and im still a young age but i really enjoy helping people. Its the thing i want to do with my life.I agree with what u said we all do feel that way if i could take back the day my best friends dad had died. I would...i would give the world for it. The best thing u can do is stay strong!
elisa

barefootangel
Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2002

I know pretty much how you feel,my mom died in 1991 ;from colon cncer and my dad passed away March 23rd 2002,from lung/brain cancer.
This is the first time that i've really felt alone.My mom and dad were my best friends in the world and i count down the days,months,and time also just as you do.
The days seem to just lag around and really have no "energy" to get out of the house to do anything;everything reminds me of them.My moms death really hurt and dishearted me but my dad passing away was just the "end" for me.I'm taking each day bit by bit and i'm holding on to the fond memories of them thats what keeps me going.I wish i could tell you something to do to get rid of the hurt but theres no such thing just live life as you would have it and let your sisters memory live through you.

crtsang
Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2000

Barefootangel: for what it's worth, take it or leave it as you judge best. Not having the "energy" to go out of the house could, at this point, still "just" be grieving. It is also, though, one of the symptoms of depression, which is treatable. For all I know, you're already getting professional help to deal with all this--my mother died last September and I'm still getting help--and of course, as I say, you know best for yourself.
Just in case you didn't know...
And my heart goes out to you. I've only lost one parent, and I'm considerably older than you are. Losing my mom alone has been more devastating than I expected it might be.

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