Mar 03, 2002 - 10:36 pm
He'll be 48 this year, and he was told last week he has cancer, esophagel cancer, and that its spread to his limph notes and his liver. I'm his faughter, I'm 21 and away at college. I don't even know what I'm asking, or saying or doing..it's just so hard to see my dad so sick and weak, he lost 50 lbs in 6 weeks, and looks skinnier than I do. They put some sort of tube in his stomache so he can eat and he goes into the hospital on monday to start chemo, or an evaluation to see how much chemo he can handle. I have an older brother who's graduating college this spring, and a little sister who's only in 6th grade. I'm usually the one who pulls the family together, makes every effort to stay strong for everyone, but I'm at a loss. My mom has always been on a guilt trip and she can't accept the fact that she's not to blame, or something of that nature. my litle sister keeps asking if her daddy's going to die, and every time i call home my dad sounds worse, and i've never heard my father weak before, scared before. the doctors said thers not a possibility of removing all the cancer, even after months of treatment or something. I just dont know how to keep together for myself, and my family. i just love them all so much I hate to see everyone like this, and i've worked myself up so much writing this and i don't even know what this is.