Dad is in end stage

redlucy
redlucy Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Dad is in end stage and I don't know how to do a "death watch."
He is receiving hospis care at home. He has a lot of brothers and sisters that visit often. There doesn't seem to be much room for me, but there never was before either.

My husband of 26 years dropped dead 2 years ago, and I'm not finished mourning him. He was my soul-mate, and my rock. I have virtually no support. I have friends but many of them have never gone through this.

I am looking for ways to cope.

Comments

  • claie
    claie Member Posts: 3
    I am sorry about your hubby you must be devestated. To your immediate needs though- your dad must be made to be felt part of the group. You want him to be in decisions and one of the last decisions he will make on this earth that he can have a big part in is his funeral. As long as he can talk let him help plan it. He knows what he wants. Ask him . To help uou cope it takes time. But I can suggest some good books to read. Hope again by Charles Swindoll, and Lord Change my Attitude by McDonald excellent books. Everyone deals with death diffently and for my my best way to deal with a personal death is to become invoved in some ones life again. For instanceThis past 2 months I have had 2 close firends who have and have cancer I am an active in their cancer recovery. I take meals in to one and I am going to the hospital with the other. I am her day and night nurse. I am there to make sure she does not have too much company etc. Are you eating right and have you built up your immune system? Those to things will make you feel better. If your dad was in the service etc help him write things down about his pasyt. On coping with your husbands death- did he wear a favorite cologne or after shave? If he did and you have some left or go get some and put it on a cotten ball and put it side your pillow case and when you sleep it will be soundly and you will ease into recovery better. I hope this helps. Alice
  • annieoak
    annieoak Member Posts: 1
    i know where you are. you do what you have to do...give him the power to do what he has to do. auto piolt takes over.
  • kayl
    kayl Member Posts: 1
    I was with my father 2 years ago on the night he passed away. We were never very close but I helped to care for him in the end. Before he passed, I had just kissed him and told him that I loved him. Not long after he was gone. The pain is still with me, but the pictures and the memories from the past keep him in my heart. I was lucky that I got to reconcile with him before it was too late. Somedays I'm still mad at him for leaving before I was ready.
  • amanders
    amanders Member Posts: 3
    I will pray for you and your family if it means anything. Go dbless you.
  • mlewis
    mlewis Member Posts: 4
    I would be happy to be your friend and listen. I have just found out that my dad has cancer and I dont know what to expect. Its not cureable and I dont know how to cope in beginning, the middle or the end. I have no education on the disease.
    If you would like to chat. let me know