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A Few GREAT hours!

kat02
Posts: 76
Joined: Nov 2001

Hi everyone,

I just felt like sharing this evening. My husband is teaching this evening and I am in a reflecting mood. One of the most frustrating things with this disease and treatment is how much it upsets life. I still miss the normalcy of my old life. I should just be use to it now, but it still bothers me. Regardless, it is difficult to plan anything, because I never know when the few good hours are going to occur. Yesterday, I went with my husband to the grocery store in part to just get out of the house, but also because I thought I could speed him up. Boy, was I wrong? I thought that I was feeling better, but I barely made it through the trip without passing out. This was an extreme situation for me. I developed a severe strep infection and cold last week. The antibiotics were really just beginning to help when I went out, but I NEEDED to get out in public.

Regardless . . . I was just frustrated with not being able to be able to make even a simple trip. We had hoped to get away to the coast this past weekend, but the infection canceled that activity.

Another frustration is that we live in the middle of nowhere. All of my doctors, movies, entertainment are a 90 minute one way drive for us. So just getting to my appointments each week takes most of my energy. So I am lying here this morning and I need a break, but also I need to connect with my husband. And my husband doesn't have any classes to teach until early evening. And I am still recovering from the infection. I am desperate not to waste any time that we have been given. Where can we go? What can we do? Something that is just fun.

O.K. the good part, the solution, a FEW GREAT HOURS. Although the temperature is suppose to drop down into the 20's (F) tomorrow night, it is unbelievably 66 degrees today. So my husband goes and buys a box of fried chicken and mashed potatoes (for me). He crushes ice and puts it in a thermous. We take some canned drinks, I sneak in two packs of cards. He carries my favorite comforter. And we are off to the most distant corner of our yard where we set up under the shade of the trees. We simply eat a picnic lunch. Then I pull out the cards and we play 3 rounds of canasta.

It was a PERFECT few hours. We simply enjoyed being outside together. It was what we both needed. Although, he said that he still needed a good action movie.

The point to my ramble . . . I think that I was trying to make things too normal in the past and that is why I was failing. In the past, I would have made the picnic lunch instead of buying it and we would have driven to the park to eat it. (Just like when I was healthy.) But, then I would have simply been exhausted. Today I couldn't think about preparing lunch or going anywhere, the infection still has me worn out. So we purchased lunch and went to the back yard. It made no difference that I hadn't prepared the picnic. It was more enjoyable because I hadn't. This whole experience, I have had to let go of things that I use to do and it has been a painful experience. I have prayed for things to be normal. Today I let go and it was a GREAT EXPERIENCE!

I'll let go of the RAMBLING!

Love, Prayers and Hugs!

Kat

bdean
Posts: 262
Joined: Feb 2001

Dear Kat:
Good for you and congratulations on finding your temporary new normal. Things will never be quite the same again, but you have to let go of the way things were and enjoy all the 'good' hours. I am glad you found them and enjoyed them so much. Just a little down time with a spouse or friend or child - where you don't talk about 'c' or treatments or appointments, etc. Just be content with each other's company. I know a few healthy people who could do well by following your example. We usually don't appreciate what we have until it is gone. God bless you and may those 'great' hours just increase more and more.
Prayers and hugs,
Brenda

isaiah4031
Posts: 243
Joined: Jun 2001

Congrats on a great time! Sometimes the best times are the simplest times. I am glad you had such a wonderful day!
Love, Jayne

shirlann
Posts: 235
Joined: Oct 2001

Hi, Kat, what a lovely story! You made my day. You two will weather this whole thing wonderfully, that is for sure. Trust me, things will be normal. It seems not possible, but it will happen. I am 3 years post BC and while we all must remain vigilant, I do not think of my BC very often. It was a ghastly year, but as all things must, good or bad, it does end. I hope you are on good vitamins. With the reminder do not use any vitamins while undergoing chemo or radiation because the vitamins fight the free-radicals which are trying to kill the cancer cells, BUT, when you are over treatment, get on E, C, a full spectrum B complex and a multiple, you will feel better much sooner. Sounds like you need a DVD player and a subscription to a "Movie A Week" club! God bless you and your dear husband, know you are in a huge, loving sisterhood and we all care about you. Shirlann

kat02
Posts: 76
Joined: Nov 2001

Shirlann,

The "Movie a Week" club is a great idea for my husband. Thank you so very much for the idea. I really think that it will make a world of difference as he truly misses going to the movies.

Kat

grandma
Posts: 162
Joined: Feb 2002

Hi Kat, wish I knew what to say to cheer you, and make you laugh.
Was a nice thing your Hubby did with you.I don't like to cook, so I think it's great!
A week or so ago, my daughter drove me to my Dr. and Hubby, myself and her stopped at Burger King(we were early for appt.)I got a Burger King hat and wore it, when a guy came by I asked if he liked it ETC.Embarrased both of them, but made them laugh. Was fun and I still have the hat. When I can make others laugh, it helps me .
Thought this might make you smile a little.
Praying that GOD will bless and watch over you. love, Grandma

kat02
Posts: 76
Joined: Nov 2001

Hi Grandma,

Your hat story did bring a smile. I think it was great. Keep wearing your hat!

Kat

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

That was truly the most amazing thing I have heard in a long time. You have just given us all a very good lesson on find our New Normal, it seems nothing is ever the same so we have to reinvent our world and no one said that it couldn't be better. Kat you and your husband have just reminded us all it is the little things that really make a difference and being a 5 year servivor I am just working on that reality. My normal life is gone and now I must truly be open to the new one that I must find for myself.
Thanks for waking us up,
it has helped me.
thanks,
Tara
ps about chatting I am usually on in the morning between 6-8 am PST I am on west coast

kat02
Posts: 76
Joined: Nov 2001

Tara,

Thanks for the information. I hope to chat soon.

Kat

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