Feb 25, 2002 - 12:36 pm
Hey everyone. I just had to get a few things off my chest. I'm really scared. I'm 21 years old and about 4 days ago my mother was diagnosed with a late stage of lung cancer. The tumor is so big that it is blocking her airway. She is having trouble breathing and is also retaining liquid in her face among other places. She can barely eat anything and has lost weight (which I believe is typical). I'm pretty much still in shock, but the fear of this is gaining on me very quickly, day by day.
I can't help but think about "what if" situations. What if I lose her? I have no father, was recently laid off due to this recession, it's almost impossible to find a decent job, I have no savings, no personal transportation, no credit, mother is out of work now and I have a younger sister that I would have to take care of. My mothers disability will not be enough and neither will grabbing any job I can get. If I lost my mother, I'd lose myself. I consider myself an adult, but rising to this ocassion is going to be extremely difficult. I don't know how I will support everyone.
I'm not sure how to deal with this. I'm not an optimist, not a pessimist, but consider myself a realist/analyst. I've thought about so many scenarios, but they just fade away. Life has pretty much slapped me in the face, now it's time to deal with it. I will do whatever is necessary to get my family through this. If anyone who reads this is going through the same thing, just hang in there and do whatever you can.
If anyone has any information regarding any kinds of services such as helping a family member of a cancer patient find a job or something to that effect, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you for reading and for any info any of you provide.