CSN Login
Members Online: 7

Bad hair comments

jillg
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2002

I finished chemo two months ago and my hair is starting to grow back in. There are some really ignorant people in this world who feel they have to comment: "nice haircut" and "you're brave, I could never have cut my hair off", etc., etc. I'm speechless when these things are said to me - I can't believe that people have the nerve to say such things. Does anyone have a good comeback that has worked for them?

mrsbe
Posts: 58
Joined: Jun 2001

Think of it like this... there so ignorant and insensitive do they really need to be justified with ANY type of a reply. Just shoot them one of those looks... in the mean time just for practice ill help you think of
something just for those special cases lol.
Keep you head held high!!!! And let the sun glare off in there faces =)
Hang in there and congrats of finishing your treatment.

MrsBe

inkblot
Posts: 704
Joined: Jul 2001

Hi JillG:

Oh...we've all had some pretty ridiculous and insensitive things said about the state of our heads! I don't know why anyone with an ounce of sensitivity would feel compelled
to say anything at all!

Here's something I shot back at a total stranger once: I laughed, looked them right in the eye and said: "If you think THIS is brave...you ought to try breast cancer treatment...this is merely one of milder side effects"!

Should give them something to think about and may just serve as a remedial treatment for insensitivity and ignorance. It isn't
a mean comment but can serve to bring another's thoughtlessness into focus for them.

Love, light and laughter,
Inkblot

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

Dear Jill

I am undergoing my second bout of hair loss after it had just grown back in after Adriamycin. Now I am on Taxotere & lost it all again. I hardly ever wear my wig. I live in New Zealand & we are in the main part of summer so it is too hot. I am not all ashamed of my head & hardly ever bother to cover it up.I just wear a hat when out in the sun to protect my scalp. I have often received looks from people but I think they realise it is a chemo treatment side effect & they do not say anything. I often get very good comments from people who say how good I look & hope it all works so maybe people are kinder here in NZ. If anyone has a problem with my bald head that's their problem & not mine. Think of it that way & just ignore the rude buggers & get on with your life.

Love & hugs. Pam

confused
Posts: 53
Joined: Jan 2001

My mom calls it her "chemo cut".
Most people probably just don't realize how insensitive they are being when they make comments, and the fact that cancer is so unpleasant, it's probably not their first thought as to why your hair is short.
It's sad that you or anyone else would have to justify your short hair to another person.
Best Wishes,
Diane

tiger
Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

Hi there, Tiger here, Now I should not say anything negative about those ladies (and men) with full heads of hair, all that weight just pulls their brains down and they cannot think right. But seeing as I am such a mouthy little crapper and cant resist a good dig, I was going through the mall one day, before I put on all kinds of weight, it was summer and I had a nice light tan, I was wearing a blue bandana, biker style, and , well, I looked good and I felt great!! Until I noticed the "looks" and the "giggles"behind hands, I just strut through the mall, and one man had the audacity to stop, turn around, shake his head and make a loud comment to his partner, well, I just as smartly turned around, twinkled my green eyes at him, and said" oh yeah? I may be bald, but you're ugly and MY HAIR WILL GROW BACK IN"
everone laughed, I felt kind of bad about it, but dont piss me off too many times, I am mouthy and not afraid to use it!!
Tonight my hubby took me to outpatients, I have a gross yeast infection on the bottom of my mommy tummy, anyway, I was hopped up on morphine for pain in the liver, we took the prescription to the pharmacist, he was about seventy years old, and looked very grumpy, so I tried very hard to be pleasent, He typed in my first name, Looked at me and said in a real sarcastic tone " rosa.. WHO?'
I said Rosa Moore, he asked my birthdate, but I did not hear him, Dave smiled at him and answered for me, he looks at me again, and says " YOU ARE Rosa Moore are you not?" I said yes I am, but I am on medication at the moment and not quite coherent, but my husband will be glad to answer for me" Finally the total came to 31.00 for cream, which is outrageous when I can get it at Wal Mart for half the price, I reached out, took my prescription out of his hands, and said, that is insane, I will go to Wal Mart in the morning where I can afford their prices!! I left him standing there open mouthed and more humble than in a long time, we went past the cashiers at the front of the store, I asked the only one there, " Is there a Pharmacy manager for this store, or is it that old fart back there behind the counter?" She said , "yes, that is him, he owns the place" I snorted and said" ah yes, now I understand why he thinks he can be such an *******!!"
Phew, that felt great!!! After such uncompromising ignorance for so long, I can make a statement without looking like a *****!!
ok, now where was I going with this ?? I forget?!!!
I will remember later, anyway, just remember, you are awesome, beautiful, and have the heart and courage of a true fighter!! That is why we are women!!!!

xoxoxoxo Tiger

momof2
Posts: 81
Joined: Jun 2001

Hi there! I am in the same situation as you. I just finished my chemo at the end of July and have had some great comments. If you don't know my story, I am 24 and was diagnosed with breast cancer last April. ANyway, I like to head out to the bars with my friends and there was one man who always called me "Butch". After a while I got sick of it and looked at him and said "Ya know, I've had both of my breasts cut off too would you like to make a comment about that! And until you've been what I've been through, I suggest that you keep all comments about me to yourself." Some people just don't realize what we've been through. I felt really bad afterwards because the old man felt so bad he started crying, but I would bet he will think twice before he ever says anything like that to anyone again. Take care and keep your chin up. My hair finally looks like a hair style now. It's great! I'm starting to get coments now that they love my hair short. I had long hair to the middle of my back before. Things will turn around for you soon! TAke care!

Carrie

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2015 © Cancer Survivors Network