Cancer Survivors Network

my grandmother have breast cancer that has spread to her lungs and brain.i am watching her literally waste away.she is the last grandparent i have left.she is like a mother to me.we are so close and it is tearing me apart to see her dieing.she lives in virginia and i live in new jersey and i see her a least twice a month.i talked to her on the phone on weekends until she had a stroke in may.this is killing me!!!!when i go see her now she smiles at me but she can't talk,and i know she knows who i am.her mind comes and goes.but whether she understands or not i still tell her i love her dearly.i know she loves me because she told me one day after she had her stroke.it took all her strength to say it because of the paralasis to her mouth but she did it.so i feel she do know i love her but it is just so hard to see her.when i am there in virginia i leave the room when i know iam getting ready to cry.she whispers in a low voice " whats wrong" and i tell her nothing is wrong and that i just love her so much and hate that she is sick.then she uses her good hand to motion me to come closer to her and she kisses me on the face.oh this just makes me cry.i'm crying right now.