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feeling alone

jolynne
Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 2001

my family thinks i am fine after three surgeries in eighteen months although i am still having problems

bethy's picture
bethy
Posts: 12
Joined: Jan 2001

Hi there. I too feel alone at times. My family thinks I should be just fine now that the cancer is gone. They have a hard time understanding my constant fear of it returning or finding something else wrong. What scares me the most is being away from my children again. Do you have kids? Hope you are having a good day. And just know that each day DOES get better and you get stronger!
God Bless,
Beth

crtsang
Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2000

Ohhh, how my heart goes out to you! And after all you went through. (I read your website.) I thought _my_ family was pretty skilled in the denial department...
Feeling alone is one of the hardest parts of dealing with cancer, because we all do, even those of us with more supportive families. (Mine doesn't really understand, but at least they don't think I should be "over it already".) But there are degrees, too, and it must be so hard for you.
What made the biggest difference for me was that a Gilda's Club opened in my area. It's just a place to go where you don't feel weird about being a cancer survivor, and believe me, you'll find lots of people who do understand, if there's one in your area. Check the website www.gildasclub.org
(They also run activities, like yoga classes--free to members, and membership is free, but I think the main thing is that a place like that really cuts through the isolation.
I think there are similar things on the west coast--wellness communities? I'm not sure--and you could try to find someone to talk to through the closest ACS office.
Or, you can always e-mail me, either here or at ctsang@uic.edu.
Hang in there, and don't let your family keep you from finding real support elsewhere.
Carol

crtsang
Posts: 105
Joined: Nov 2000

Is your doctor one of the people who tells you that it's over now? If so, find yourself a new doctor, even if you have to go some distance to find one. (You don't need to see the doctor as much if you can talk to him/her over the phone about these issues.)
I also understand the American Cancer Society can put you in touch with someone who has had an experience similar to yours (over the phone), and that might help. Though, if you have to pay long-distance rates and have trouble with that, I guess those suggestions aren't very helpful.
It must be very hard, especially in a small town. And you're absolutely right that the other people just *want* you to be over it so they don't have to deal with it any more.
Carol

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