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running the race

runner4life's picture
runner4life
Posts: 5
Joined: May 2001

I wrote this a while a couple of months ago. It talks about the day I was told I had cancer.I hope it helps.

As I walk into his office I look at my gray gym shirt. It has my number on it, 14.Then I look at my dad. He looks so solemn. I know he'd like to be anywhere but here. I feel the same way. The doctor walks in. His suit is pressed not a wrinkle on it. His octangular glasses lay across his nose. I think to myself" I want to go home! "The doctor sits down and looks at me and says "you have a rare tumor in your leg and it's cancer. "All the color drains from my face. How could this be? Not me! I'm never sick! I'm perfectly healthy! As I'm thinking this I look at my dad his, eyes are red, you know like when someone has been crying and is trying to hide it. He's trying to be brave for me. The doctor goes on to tell me I'll lose my hair. I tell him "I've always wanted to shave my head! "Doctor Ciztrom is speechless. I think I surprised him. I asked the doctor the one question that had been burning in me since I was told about my tumor." Will I be able to run again? " The silence was chilling. I knew the answer before a word was spoken." No" He said with genuine regret. My whole world stopped right then and there. A tear trickled down my face. Why me? My passion, my dreams, gone! If only I would have known before my last race. I would have done more or tried a little harder. Then it hit me. This is a test! Pass it.... I WILL pass.
Almost three years later I sit here and try to remember the last race I ran, the details slowly fading. I still miss the rush but things have changed now. My passion for running has not changed but my goals and dreams have. I've found new interests and new passions that I'm just as good at. Maybe the Olympic track star is gone but that drive and determination that set out to win is still there. There are so many things I wish I could do over. If only I would have known it would have been my last race. I would have tried harder or ran just a little faster. But you know what? I didn't know and I couldn't have done any better. I could sit here and think about all the what ifs and all the things that I wish I could have done Instead I'm going to move on and live my life to the fullest. I'm sure there are things you wish you could do over or you say to yourself, next time... Have you ever considered it could be your last? So many times people take forgranted the little things they do. The simple act of walking or even running could bring so much joy to someone. Remember, we know not what the future holds, live everyday to it's fullest. Don't put off till tomorrow, cause you may not have tomorrow. If there is someone you need to forgive, forgive him or her, if you miss the opportunity to say you love someone that could have been your last. Don't let a stupid fight keep friends from talking. Everyone needs a friend. Friends help make us who we are. A lifetime of missed opportunities could be a missed opportunity of a lifetime.

torey's picture
torey
Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 2001

I could sit here and right the same exact experience. I was 14 at the time i walked into that little room where my parents and the doc sat. My parents both sitting and trying to smile. It was so quiet. The doctor told me i had cancer, it is in my abdomen. I can't tell you anything else i was told that day. All i heard was cancer and what the meaning i knew that went with it...it wasn't surviving. My mom cried with me there but my dad also tried to be brave for me. My biggest goal was to make my varsity "D", the highest sports achievement at my school, playing basketball. I wanted it more than anything. I cried many nites, I knew i would never achieve that goal. But i have made new goals as well and have conquered them with great strides. I wish I knew also, don't we all. I would have played my heart out. I would have given it all. Would even had himulated myself if that is what it would have ment to hold onto my dream. My new dreams are unfolding for me. My test is forever something to get over, day by day. But I am 18 and graduating from high school, something my doc's never expected. I passed that test with flying colors, which i give due to God and my faith. I am off to colege with new battles to overcome and new goals to make. Make everyday something to live for, to love for, and do all that you can do for.

shelly9501
Posts: 11
Joined: Sep 2002

that was a touching story, I am 19 and also diagnosed with cancer. It has inspired me to continue fighting in hopes that I will make it and live a fullfilling life! Good luck in everything you do. You have won the fight.
Shelly:o)

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