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update..........not good

blondie
Posts: 21
Joined: Mar 2001

sorry I have't been to this site for a while...it's not been good. Have been hospitalized a few times since surgery, having problems with treatment, low white count, bad reaction to new medicine...now it's spread to lymph nodes......I've kinda lost any hope of a good future....and I certainly wish all of you the world of luck....as for pepe......honey I'm sorry...I wish you well..and I wish you love. You deserve so much more than I can give you...I'm sure you'll find it. God bless all of you and thanks for your support...bye

tiger
Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

Blondie, you will not have a good future if you keep up this 'poor me' attitude. There are many of us on here that are alot worse off than you are, but we just keep on plugging away at it, because death is not an alternative. Stop being a martyr and start taking control over what is going on in your life. I wish I were with you, I would give you a good swift kick in the arse..
I know it is hard, we all know it is hard, but we are all fighting together in this and we will all win in this together.
as they say"piss or get off the pot" Well my dear, buck up and start living again.
Any time that we have on this earth is precious and we need to make the most of it.
I really wish you would have let that man in your life, having somebody to love and love you back despite all odds is wonderful, but you will never have that if you keep pushing people away and thinking that you are worthless. You are a strong, beautiful, vital woman, you have to realize that in order to go on. We are all here to help you through this, and you in turn will help us.
Plant some flowers and tend to them everyday, and watch them blossom as you blossom into good health again, both mental and physical. There are so many new drugs out there, believe me, I was diagnosed 17 months ago with stage IV breast mets to the liver, and have been doing chemo since. My liver tumours are growing wildly again, and starting tomorrow I am going on my third kind of chemo. It a long journey, but I believe wholeheartedly that I will get through this and be stronger for it. Come on girl, get up and fight.
Put your trust in God and your Drs, and lean on us in your time of need, we are always here.
You go Girl!!

Hugs from Tiger

luckyj
Posts: 26
Joined: Apr 2001

I've read your concerns/complaints Blondie and agree with Tiger. You need to buck up and focus on living with a positive attitude. Negativity is a huge drain on health. It's the simple things in life that provide enjoyment. My rose garden is going to be spectacular this year. We're with you but you must lead the battle. Love, Luckyj

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

Blondie,
Our hearts are with yours, feeling your pain. Once again I find myself wishing we could be near by for you. We are so glad that you have found this site agian, there is plenty of strength and courage present in the women who hang here.
Tiger has a very good point. I have learned to find the simplist of pleasure in pulling dandelions and weeds in my garden. There is no greater gift from God than the beauty around us. "WHERE THERE IS A GARDEN THERE IS HOPE."
I found something early on in my fight that helped me think alittle clearer about things and that was the WHAT CANCER CANNOT DO saying that can be found in the gallery area of this site. I urge you to copy it and put it on your fridge so that you can see it a read it daily. I found it helpful for my spirit.
Feel the love of others around you for this is truly part of our healing process.
Be kind to yourself,
24242Tara

bdean
Posts: 262
Joined: Feb 2001

Dear Blondi:
I add my own dittos to what Tiger and the other ladies have said. You are your own worse enemy. If you think negative thoughts then only negative things will happen to you.Did you never hear someone say "can't never did anything". The FDA just released two new very impressive drugs that are doing great wonders so far---but these drugs can't help, if you just give up and don't even try. You are being tested, and you are failing even with people giving you the answers. Please at least TRY--THEN TRY HARDER--THEN EVEN HARDER THAN EVER!!!!!! Like Tiger, I have matastisized breast cancer, not just in my liver, but also my bones, and lungs, and adrenal gland, and lymph nodes (hopefully they are clean now from treatment--and lungs; and liver leisions are holding their own). I am not crawling into a hole and stop living when there is still so much life left in me--so strengthen that backbone of yours and fight the good fight--don't go into that good night without giving the rest of your life a chance to happen. May God bless you and have mercy.
My hugs, too. Brenda

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

Blondie - I agree wholehartedly with what Tiger & all the others have said. How dare you just give up like that. You were given a life to live it to the full. If you think yourself dead you soon will be. I have metastized stage 4 cancer to lungs & nearly all of my spine, ribs, breast bone & pelvis & there is no way I am giving up the fight. I will fight this beast until my last breath and you should too. There are so many new treatments coming on line now that all we need to do is fight it into a corner & the cure will be there waiting for us all. There is a new one just been given FDA approval called Glivac & it is the breakthrough I have been waiting for. Believe me I am going to be first in line begging to be a trial subject when it comes up for approval here in New Zealand. So DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE. As for Peep. I bet if you contacted hime when you have got yourself back on track that he will gladly take up where you threw him out of your life. I am sorry to be so blunt but I don't think I have ever come across anyone with so little courage & such low self esteem. Every one of us is worthwhile & you just need to tell yourself this. Peep obviously thinks you are. Don't be a fool & throw away your life without giving it your best shot.

lhakons
Posts: 26
Joined: Nov 2000

Blondie:

Call your oncologist TODAY and tell them you are depressed! One of the things that chemo for BC does is knock your hormones out of whack, and that can cause you to have symptoms of depression. I know there's a stigma attached to taking anti-depressants. But we are willing to take meds for all of the other side effects of chemo, so give yourself permission to take something for this side effect. Blondie, you have a lot of life left to live -- choose to do whatever you need to do to enjoy it.

Blessings!
Lisa

ivaldez
Posts: 3
Joined: May 2001

GOD BLESS YOU. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.
STAY POSITIVE AND MAKE EACH DAY COUNT FOR
YOUR FAMILY. MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY DAY.

pcarver
Posts: 19
Joined: Jul 2001

Please, never give up hope. Put your faith in the Lord. With Him all things are possible. I will pray for you, and I wish the very best!
God bless you,
pcarver

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