Mar 27, 2001 - 2:09 am
Hi to all!!!
Just need to vent my disappointment. I was to have my third dose of A/C tomorrow morning, but my blood counts today were too low for them to proceed. My white count did not show enough "mature" cells to be able to withstand the treatment. I should be back to normal by next week, so I will have the third A/C on April 3. After that, I will have to go in for a daily injection of Neupogen to get my old bones working harder to produce the requisite number of mature white blood cells so that my next chemo will be done on time. THIS little development sets my whole treatment off by a least a week!!! DARM #&@*#&%@#!!!
Also, why is it that children know just how to get your blood boiling? I have been trying to stay pretty much on an even keel since the diagnosis--you know less stress is better for the immune system and all. But I wonder, am I in denial or have I truly accepted this battle? Anyway, my lovely second daughter (who is VERY opinionated!!) decided that she would start to make less than desirable comments about some of the spring sports teams at her high school while we standing in a rather long line with some of the students and families who participate in them to get dinner. (The school holds a Tri-Tip Dinner three times a year to raise money for the different sports teams.) Incidenatly, my children are swimmers. My daughter was complaining about the long line (she had to be to her babysitting job before 7 PM) because the swim team was told to come at 6:15 PM and the teams who were told to come later were there when the swim team was to be. Some day that mouth of hers will REALLY get her into trouble!! I got very upset and told her to watch what she was saying so as not to offend any one, but she didn't care. I almost walked away from them and came home I was SOOOOO MAD!! I told her that I didn't want to stand there and listen to it---she was too smart mouthed and said that she didn't care who heard her. Typical 15 year old temperment!!! This daughter has really been great through all of this, but sometimes.......!!!!
I hope that this makes some type of sense....it is late and I am tired and my eyes are really bothering me tonight. I, too, believe that I am coming down wtih a cold. When I talked with my onc. nurse today, she said that taking some Dimetapp will help to open the passages from eyes to ears to nose to throat. It has helped, but my eyes still feel like they are glued together when I close them for a while and there is a film covering them so that I cannot see as well.
I believe that I have gone off long enough, again. I guess that I am just feeling a bit blue because of the delay in my treatments....and also because it feels like my pastor--and others--have forgotten about me. He is so positive that I am going to be fine, that perhpas he just doesn't think of me as needing prayers anymore. I know that I am just tired and not really seeing the whole picture, but you begin to wonder when he doesn't pray for you in front of the congregation any more!!! I know that this isn't the case, but I do feel so down right now. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like it is worth it. Just, please, keep me in your prayers that my blood counts are up by next Monday and that getting these shots won't hurt too much (I hate shots!!) and will help to boost the blood counts!! And also that my spirits will lift. I did go shopping today and purchased some good, upbeat praise and worship music. Can't wait to play them tomorrow!!
Thanks for listening and for being here for me. You are all blessings to my life and please know that you are all in my prayers tonight---and every night. God bless you all and hope you have a good day tomorrow!!!
Blessings and hugs......Wendy