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Thank you

tiger
Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

Ladies, Thank You. You always have the ability to raise my spirits like nobody else can. But that is because you understand. I finally broke last night. I kissed my husband good night, and he came to tuck me in and I started crying and just could not stop. All the anger,fear,and resentement just came pouring out. He just held me and rocked me in his arms. I finally managed to say some of the things to him that have been bothering me, like where should I be buried. Since he is military he will move around before the end of his career. Just those things I should not be worrying about, but do and finally feel at peace now that I voiced them. Wendy, I would love the words to those songs. My husband is calling the Base Chaplain today and try to get me an appointment, and I am going to start going to church. I am Roman Catholic, but have not been to church in years, and now I am craving the peace. I do pray every night though, and I feel better afterwards.
No, I am not giving up this fight.I dont give up easily. A week after I had spinal surgery five years ago, I was at home vacuuming. Big no no, but I have never done what I was supposed to anyway, so why start now?! I dont know how they can be so certain that all my spots are tumours. They could be scar tissue from dead ones, cysts, or infarcts from the herceptin(infarct is an area of dead tissue due to lack of blood supply to the area) I started herceptin in August 00.But i did a little research, and Taxol is the biggest gun they have for this kind of thing. Who knows, maybe it will put me into remission. My hair is keeping quite nicely. I only loose maybe a few on my towel when I shower. Usually by now, It would be coming out rapidly.
the weather is gorgeous here today. I took the kids for a walk, still tons of snow, but really sunny and mild.I need to start walking off some of this weight.Although the banana split that i sent my husband for at 9:30 last night is not helping my hips any!!
Do you guys barbeque? I read last year that bbq is not good for us because of the nitrates from the charred meat, so we stopped doing it, and even sold our bbq. But hell, do I ever get a craving for the taste of charbroiled meat!! I should stop eating meat altogether, but if I was meant to be a vegetarian, then I would not have these wicked canine teeth. Nice and sharp. Did you know there is a theory about our canine teeth? They say that if yours are rounded then your ancestors were plant eaters, but if they are sharp, your ancestors were meat eaters? I think that is kind of neat idea. i must have descended from a t-rex, mine are really sharp. I finally managed to talk my husband into getting me a kitten, so we are going to the spca in a month and get one.I have two cats, a large dog, aquarium, and of course, my three men. i love animals. My dog is so lovable, he crawls into bed every night for some cuddles. He snugs down between the two of us, and would sleep there all night if we let him. He is a samoyed/huskey mix. A small dog, trapped in a big dogs body!! He loves to chase the cats around, and he tries to snuggle with them too on the floor, but they want no part of that, so I am hoping that a kitten will take to him. I would love to volunteer at the shelter, but I would bring all the animals home with me at night.But then, my husband could sleep on the pull out and they could sleep in bed with me!!
Well, thank you again for letting me Ramble on and on. I feel better now.You all take care and shall yak at you soon.
Hugs and love from Tiger

mjdp2's picture
mjdp2
Posts: 142
Joined: Nov 2000

Hi Tiger, Sorry I couldn't spend more time with you in the chat room this morning. Going back to church is a great idea. I was sent to church when I was 10 but was never baptised until I was 42. You need spiritual counseling and the love of God to get thru this. It definitely helped me. There is a Michael Crawford CD that has the verse, "And He will raise you up on eagles wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun and hold you in the palm of His hand." When I sing that verse, I find utter peace in whatever God plans for me. Take care. Love Margaret

mjdp2's picture
mjdp2
Posts: 142
Joined: Nov 2000

Hi Tiger, Sorry I couldn't spend more time with you in the chat room this morning. Going back to church is a great idea. I was sent to church when I was 10 but was never baptised until I was 42. You need spiritual counseling and the love of God to get thru this. It definitely helped me. There is a Michael Crawford CD that has the verse, "And He will raise you up on eagles wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun and hold you in the palm of His hand." When I sing that verse, I find utter peace in whatever God plans for me. Take care. Love Margaret

cruf
Posts: 931
Joined: Oct 2000

So glad you are feeling better and were able to speak your peace! I have the same problem and keep everything in.I've always been that way. Your husband sounds wonderful and caring in his own way! There's no way my husband would go out at 9:30 at nite for a banana split, although, he's wonderful in other ways. My theory about not barbaquing is that everything we do today a possible
cause of cancer.Now, coloring our hair to make ourselves feel better can cause cancer! You only live once! You might as well enjoy life and not totally restrict what you enjoy. Afterall, you may walk out your door and get hit by a car. Enjoy life today. What will be will be! Hugs! Cathy

lucy
Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2000

Hi Tiger - Don't ever feel bad because you broke down - we all do that from time to time. Sometimes there are things that we need to talk about - and try to put off too long. It is good that you were able to talk about these things.
I am so glad that you will be attending church there - that will definitely help you. I know it sure helped get me through breast cancer. My christian friends have always been "there" for me - and it always seemed like the sermons were directed at me. I am so glad that your husband is such a loving, understandable sweetie - that helps, I know that. My husband is the same way with me - I have broke down so very many times, and he is always there to help me.
Please don't forget to keep your positive attitude and the Good Lord will see you through this - I am sure of that.
I pray for you every day - and remember the power of prayer is the best thing that we can all do.
God Bless you - Love, Lucy

judyd
Posts: 130
Joined: Nov 2000

Hi Rosa, I have been gone for a couple of weeks so have been trying to get caught up on news about everyone. I'm sure you feel better after getting things said that have been bothering you. I always feel better getting things off my chest. I'm glad your husband is so understanding, that helps so much. My hubby has just been the best through all of this, always there with encouraging words. He has really spoiled me lately. You don't see me complaining though.
My faith in God has really helped also. God has given me peace & comfort through all of this.
I had read that about the charbroiled meat. We bar-b-q a lot. I have tried to start eating healthier & exercising more lately.
The weather here(in Texas) was also so pretty today, mid 70's. It just gives you a whole new outlook on life. Everything is so pretty & green already.
Take care Rosa. I keep you along with all the other ladies on here in my prayers each night.
Judy

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

Tiger
We haven't chatted yet but you sound as though you have what truly matters in life as we know it. You have found something that most others aren't even aware of and that is The Simple Things In Our Lives. When I got cancer I really started praying again. My family walked away from Catholicism when I was 14, but it was my mother who asked me if I prayed and if the answer was no, start. I truly found that I have been praying all along. You are a strong spirit that is wounded and that too shall pass. Be Good To Yourself.
I admire your strength,
TARA

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

Dear Rosa

Back on track again? So glad you were able to express & deal with how you were feeling. Dave is a trooper realy. They often feel helpless but give them something to do & they usually come up trumps. I know John has finally accepted that always being so positive for me is not always what I want as we all worry about how they will cope if we don't make it. He has even agreed to learn how to balance a cheque book - a major for him. Wherever we find peace is right for us. Keep up the good fight. You know how much you mean to us all. Love Pam.

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