Ladies, Thank You. You always have the ability to raise my spirits like nobody else can. But that is because you understand. I finally broke last night. I kissed my husband good night, and he came to tuck me in and I started crying and just could not stop. All the anger,fear,and resentement just came pouring out. He just held me and rocked me in his arms. I finally managed to say some of the things to him that have been bothering me, like where should I be buried. Since he is military he will move around before the end of his career. Just those things I should not be worrying about, but do and finally feel at peace now that I voiced them. Wendy, I would love the words to those songs. My husband is calling the Base Chaplain today and try to get me an appointment, and I am going to start going to church. I am Roman Catholic, but have not been to church in years, and now I am craving the peace. I do pray every night though, and I feel better afterwards.
No, I am not giving up this fight.I dont give up easily. A week after I had spinal surgery five years ago, I was at home vacuuming. Big no no, but I have never done what I was supposed to anyway, so why start now?! I dont know how they can be so certain that all my spots are tumours. They could be scar tissue from dead ones, cysts, or infarcts from the herceptin(infarct is an area of dead tissue due to lack of blood supply to the area) I started herceptin in August 00.But i did a little research, and Taxol is the biggest gun they have for this kind of thing. Who knows, maybe it will put me into remission. My hair is keeping quite nicely. I only loose maybe a few on my towel when I shower. Usually by now, It would be coming out rapidly.
the weather is gorgeous here today. I took the kids for a walk, still tons of snow, but really sunny and mild.I need to start walking off some of this weight.Although the banana split that i sent my husband for at 9:30 last night is not helping my hips any!!
Do you guys barbeque? I read last year that bbq is not good for us because of the nitrates from the charred meat, so we stopped doing it, and even sold our bbq. But hell, do I ever get a craving for the taste of charbroiled meat!! I should stop eating meat altogether, but if I was meant to be a vegetarian, then I would not have these wicked canine teeth. Nice and sharp. Did you know there is a theory about our canine teeth? They say that if yours are rounded then your ancestors were plant eaters, but if they are sharp, your ancestors were meat eaters? I think that is kind of neat idea. i must have descended from a t-rex, mine are really sharp. I finally managed to talk my husband into getting me a kitten, so we are going to the spca in a month and get one.I have two cats, a large dog, aquarium, and of course, my three men. i love animals. My dog is so lovable, he crawls into bed every night for some cuddles. He snugs down between the two of us, and would sleep there all night if we let him. He is a samoyed/huskey mix. A small dog, trapped in a big dogs body!! He loves to chase the cats around, and he tries to snuggle with them too on the floor, but they want no part of that, so I am hoping that a kitten will take to him. I would love to volunteer at the shelter, but I would bring all the animals home with me at night.But then, my husband could sleep on the pull out and they could sleep in bed with me!!
Well, thank you again for letting me Ramble on and on. I feel better now.You all take care and shall yak at you soon.
Hugs and love from Tiger