Mar 06, 2001 - 1:05 pm
My fiancee was diagnosed with Hodgkin's stage 3B in February 2000. Last year when things were not going so well with the cancer, he called off the wedding saying he was not ready to commit. It was a very diffucult time for us, but we managed to scrape through and are still together. When things started going well, he wanted to reset the date. This February, we found out the cancer was back and he was going to need a stem cell transplant. He struggles in dealing with this and once again has called the wedding off, this time only 6 months before the wedding. Again, he says he is not happy and does not want to commit. I don't know how to deal with this. I wonder if it is all related to the cancer and his fears or whether he truly does not want to commit. He says it has nothing to do with the cancer or me, yet it seems to only happen when we receive bad news and he shuts me out of his life completely. He doesn't even talk to me. He says he loves me. So, I don't whether to stay or go. I do love him and I do want to marry him. He seems so angry and he doesn't really talk to anyone about his feelings. I wish he would but know that it has to be his decision. Any suggestions on how to talk to him or deal with this? When I try to talk about how I am feeling, he gets very angry and doesn't want to talk at all.