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Suggestions needed for friends

judyd
Posts: 130
Joined: Nov 2000

Hi everyone, hope you are all having a good week-end so far. If anyone has any suggestions here they would be appreciated. We have some friends that the daughter, age 24 has liver cancer. She is terminal but I'm not sure of all the specifics on it all. Just recently her Dad found out he also has liver & pancreas cancer. We heard a few days ago that they only give him a couple of more months. They have been very private about it all. He won't accept phone calls or see hardly anyone. You just have to leave a message through other family members. We are not real close friends but care a lot about them. Our hearts are just breaking for them. I can't even imagine what they must be going through. Does anyone have any suggestions of anything we could do to make this time easier for them? We have been sending cards but just feel we would like to do something else. They live a couple of hours from us so we aren't real close either. Thanks for any input on this, I appreciate you all. Judy

tiger
Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

HI Judy, I am so sorry to hear about your friends, Like you have probably read in my past postings, I have stage IV breast with mets to the liver. My initial onco gave me a year, but I am doing awesome and the liver tumours are now almost invisible. Tell them to ask about Taxol, the stuff is amazing. Even if the Drs think it is useless, demand it, Drs are not always right, I am living proof of that. How about a liver transplant? Or laser method to remove some of the tumours? there is another therapy called Endostatin, another called Fulvestrant, and another called antiveg -f, I dont know alot about these or if they can only be used with metastatic cancer, but it is worth looking into.
The sad part is, if he is not accepting any calls from friends, then in his mind, he is already gone. If someone could get him to open up and talk about it, make him realize that he can still fight this thing. It is never too late to try.As for the daughter, what about Zolodex, it is for hormone positive cancers, again, i dont know if it is only for mets.
What they have to realize is that they cannot give up before they even begin to try and fight. Everyone says to respect peoples decisions and privacey, but in cases like this, depending on the circumstances with the tumours themselves, I would just barge in on them and make them fight. But then again, I dont take no for an answer from anyone! It is frustrating to stand by and watch someone give up, there is always hope, and they owe it to themselves and all who love them to get up and take charge. Strong positive mind equals a strong positive body. my home email is davem@efni.com
if the family would like to talk about it.
I wish you well and you are a true friend to want to help out.
Fight The Good Fight.

love and hugs from Tiger

grita
Posts: 3
Joined: Feb 2001

It is hard to not be so private about the shocking discovery. It is hard to cope with. You may try to reach them by talking about a different subject not so directly about their ordeal. May also try an informal visit. Your friends may be very sensitive people and they do need the support of others, but may not know how to get it or even where to start.
From my experience, I would rather hide from people (why I am not sure) than talk about my own cancer experience. I really felt it was out of place.
I wish you God's blessings.
grita

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