Cancer Survivors Network

Hi Wendy,
You are the Wendy with a daughter who shares my birthday. I turned 55 yesterday.
tell her happy birthday from me.
I am running just 1 1/2 chemo cycles ahead of you, had my third last Tuesday.
I still have some hair, but it seems like very little to a person who is used to waist-length hair...I have not let it bother me too much, but tonight in a restaurant I got a lot of wierd looks at my fuzzy hat.
Usually I know if I am going in somewhere like that and wear my wig, but this started out as an afternoon drive cause my husband just wanted to get out of the house.
too wet and muddy to do any yard work, even still frozen except the top skinny layer of mud.

I dno't know really what will help you, I just am used to dealing with blue days (had depression since childhood). I usually "pamper" myself through them, but with a baby daughter I can see where that isn't a real option for you.

My pampering usually involves curling up with a long novel (sometimes even one that I have read dozens of times since childhood) and a pot of tea in the cozy, and some crackers or even better, chocolate. Even when my boys were small I would get them organized next to the couch I curled up on and they would play or read (both read at 3) probably from desperation.

I hope your days are beginning to go better.
cher

Hey Wendy. It's Cathy. Sorry you're having such a Blue Day. It's OK to feel blue, cry curse etc. Do whatever it takes to get you through these hard times.You're lucky your family is coming to visit(help)you.Enjoy your visit with them. Relax,and let them help you. You deserve all the help you can get. I know how hard it is when your husband travels. My husband is gone at least 4 days every week. All my medical appts.,surg. run around his travel,although,I must say, he is there when I need him. Take care. Keep in touch. Cathy

Hi Wendy, I did not have to have chemo so I can't say I know what you are going through. I just know it must be hard but if it will get you better then it will be worth it. Just hang in there & try to keep thinking positive thoughts. I will keep you in my prayers. It will be good to have your family there to help you out & to just be there for you. Judy

Wendy: I am responding to the complete blood count statement of your letter. In my oco. office, they will give you a copy of your blood work, if you ask them. I have one for each CBC they have done, and it is nice to be able to refer back to them; you may need to get a nurse to explain how to read it. I have finished my chemo and my hair is growing back & looks like a buzz cut! Keep the faith, and let the sunshine in whenever you can. You are in my prayers. Brenda in GA.

Hi, Wendy. I completely understand about the hair loss issue. My hair has always been my best feature and I am one of those women who are a bit obsessed about it looking just right. Considering this, I was like you, though. I joked & laughed about it and was really kind of looking forward to getting this part of the ordeal over with! But once my husband shaved my head & I took a look at my "pointy" little head, I was a little depressed ( I don't know why...was I expecting to be a "hot chic" with a bald head? ha) Next Thursday I will have my 3rd chemo ( out of 6) and my hair fell out near the end of Jan. I have been practicing differend head coverings and being creative. I have two wigs but they itch too much, so I favor scarves & hats. It's okay to be blue. You have a right to be! Just keep your chin high and know that God is going to get you through this.
Oh, and Wendy, if you or anyone else in the group have some "different" ideas about how to wear scarves or make headcoverings, please share!! Hang in there & enjoy having others take care of you. And thank the Lord that you have them! Hugs & prayers...Mel in AR.

Wendy,
It is not vanity alone that makes the hair loss so devastating. It hits your self esteem and does not allow you to hide the fact that you have cancer. I used some humor to try and get through. I bought a red wig and a brown wig, and a blonde wig as well as about ten different hats. This way no one knew what I was going to look like day to day. You will find what works for you.
Love,
SoCal Wendy

Wendy,
It is not vanity alone that makes the hair loss so devastating. It hits your self esteem and does not allow you to hide the fact that you have cancer. I used some humor to try and get through. I bought a red wig and a brown wig, and a blonde wig as well as about ten different hats. This way no one knew what I was going to look like day to day. You will find what works for you.
Love,
SoCal Wendy

Wendy,
It is not vanity alone that makes the hair loss so devastating. It hits your self esteem and does not allow you to hide the fact that you have cancer. I used some humor to try and get through. I bought a red wig and a brown wig, and a blonde wig as well as about ten different hats. This way no one knew what I was going to look like day to day. You will find what works for you.
Love,
SoCal Wendy

Wendy,
It is not vanity alone that makes the hair loss so devastating. It hits your self esteem and does not allow you to hide the fact that you have cancer. I used some humor to try and get through. I bought a red wig and a brown wig, and a blonde wig as well as about ten different hats. This way no one knew what I was going to look like day to day. You will find what works for you.
Love,
SoCal Wendy

Wendy: as soon as my hair started to come out I had it shaved off...felt much better after that...I was in control again!
also, regarding reports..I just told docs I wanted copies of every report, filled out a form, and they are obliged to provide. I pick up each time I go to cancer clinic. Dont let them tell you otherwise. Knowledge is power... in my book.
Your white blood count can go down a lot before they delay chemo.
Love Susan from canada

Hello Wendy, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my right breast in May, 1995. About 3 weeks after my first chemo my hair started falling out bad. I had already had my long hair cut real short to prepare for this, it didn't help, though. My scalp actually hurt when my hair started falling out so it wasn't long until my husband shaved my head. He and my youngest son tried to make it funny and I tried to laugh but I couldn't. I have always been very particular about my hair and I guess doing that just made me look and feel sick because even in a small town like I live in people who don't know look at you and make rude comments. I lost my hair twice it had just starting coming back in when I had to start taking chemo after my surgery. I took 3 treatments, then surgery, then 3 more treatments and then 30 radiation treatments. But Wendy it comes back in and mine is just as thick and soft and natural curly as before. Think of it as a badge of courage, because you are courageous, you are fighting one of the toughest battles of your life. It is nothing to keep you down. Wendy the American Cancer Society has a catalog called "tlc" and it is full of hats and wigs and other ideas and stories that might help you. Call 1-800-850-9445 and ask them to send you one. They also have a website, it is www.tlccatalog.org. I hope this will help you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Shout51

HI, wendy. I'm 10 years out and I can still remembe the absolute overwhelming feeling when my hair started to fall out. I woke up one morning and it went. I had read, talked with people who had it happen, etc. and I still sat down and cried. I cried often during the period without hair. It was to me the first and recurring thought of dying (my hair was dying) and I finally had couldn't escape the inevitable thought: I could die. I also have thought of myself as not vain but... I still looked like a sick person and I didn't want to think of myself as sick. You are in a very scary place right now as we all were and are. It's ok to feel scared, depressed, angry, the whole gamut of emotions. There is no right way through the months ahead. Try to avoid the advice people give like: "Well, just do it." "you SHOULD..." I work with survivors and I try to get should out of their vocabulary. You will find your own way the best you can. I always suggest keeping a diary of not only medicine, side effects but also feelings. I have often read mine in the years past and have a tremendous respect for the awsome task we all undertook/take. This is a tough road and for anyone to expect you to "whistle while you go merrily about the day" is protecting his/her own reaction to your disease. Think about giving yourself permission to grieve the loss of innocence, the loss of the happy image of living happily EVER after. We all learn/learned we are vulnerable. Try to think of crying as a legitimate way of letting the pressure out of your body when it is building up. If pressure seems overwhelming, think of reaching out to a support group of people who are/ have been where you are. I felt much better about my hair loss when I went to a conference of chemo patients. Half way through the hot meeting, one lady said it was too hot for her wig. Next thing you knew, we all had ours off and no one felt funny. Matter of fact, the jokes flew about the people there with hair. It was so nice to talk with people who had the same feelings and feel relaxed. My hair grew back as has all of those of the ladies I counsel. It went out grey and came back grey!! (secretly I hoped something different, but oh,well.) It may come back a bit curly (mine didn't) but a year it probably will relax. I had had long hair and when it grew back I experienced short hair: I found an extra hour in the mornings that I used to use on my hair and some one said I looked younger... you know I kept my hair short then. Seriously ask your local doctor, oncologist or hospital for a support group. We will not be judgmental about conflicting emotions, etc. Been there, done that. Good luck.