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Hello to the Group!

just_themom
Posts: 6
Joined: Jan 2001

My name is Katie I am a survivor of about 6 years. I had left masectomy in 94 at age 38. I did 6 months of chemo but was lucky and didn't have to do any radiation. I've been cruzing the postings and I am happy that I "stumbled" into this site when I was looking for masectomy clothes of all things!
I am looking forward to "hearing from the group". I have been having problems again with not feeling very sexy or feminine. I don't think it is really much beyond just looking 50 in the face but I have never really been comfortable, or happy with the way one breast looks in my nightgowns. I really don't like the "night" prostethis because they never seem to stay put till morning. (I know my husband doesn't care. He has told me many times he loves me not my breasts! He is truly a wonderful man I am very blessed.) But I can't seem to get out of this funk! Does anyone know of a place that has nightgowns and such for women like us?
Namaste!
Katie

judyd
Posts: 130
Joined: Nov 2000

Hi Katie, my name is Judy. I don't know where you can get night gowns for people like "us" but I would be interested. I just had a mastectomy in Dec. of last year. I too have a very loving supportive husband and also know how blessed I am to have him in my life. I have not completly ruled out reconstructive surgery but just felt I couldn't deal with anything else at the time of surgery. My husband has told me over & over it does not bother him at all. I believe him but it does bother me at times. It would be great if there was something available along that line. Maybe we need to come up with something on our own. That would be a good invention huh? Keep us all posted if you find anything please. Judy

just_themom
Posts: 6
Joined: Jan 2001

Hi Judy, Nice to hear from someone so quickly. I didn't opt for reconstruction for the same reasons. So much coming at me so fast I had enough to learn about and sift thru without having to decide 1 more thing. I'm glad I waited but I'm beginning to think about other options now. Do you know anyone who has had reconstruction? I've pretty much been on my own during my bout with cancer. I wasn't on line then and didn't have the energy to drive to support group meetings. Anyway... I'd love to e-talk.my address is hallburg@earthlink.net. I've never done this kind of posting before and it is a very time consuming format.
Giggles N Grins
Katie

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

Hi I'm Pam & I had mastectomy 19+ years ago. Never had the reconstruction as after a few months couldn't face another surgery & like yours my hubby couldn't care less as long as he had me alive. Everyone who knows us knows I have a prosthesis & it's never been a problem for me but everyone has their own experience of mastectomy & what suits one will not be right for another. If you are not happy with your body image go for the reconstruction but don't do it for anyone else. It's you who matters & your perception of you. We will support you whatever way you go. I just thought that most do go for recontruction & the other view might help. Keep posting as we loooove to talk & hand out advice even if you don't want it. Thinking of you. Love & hugs. Pam

tiger
Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

Hi, Tiger here. Well, the first thing I cant figure out is why on earth would you want a boob to sleep with at night?! I had my mastectomy in Jan /00, and am waiting to get the ok for reconstrucion, I just finished off my last chemo in Dec/00, as it had metastasized to my liver. The hardest part for me about loosing my breast was trying to sleep at night. I was so used to having someplace for my arm to rest, and then bam, it was gone, but now it does not bother me. I dont even wear my prostetic out in public. Well, only in the summer when I go to the mall. all my friends are used to me with only one boob, I am a 40D, so I am pretty noticeable with only one. My husband does not care, and my kid think it is cool, I am 31, 32 tomorrow, and I told my oncologist and my family Dr. that I am too young to go with only one boob, i get a free tummy tuck in the deal, so what the heck?!! They are trying to convince me not to do it, well, we cant cure you they say, so why bother? Ha!! I have already explained in so many un-lady like words that there may not be a cure yet, but I can put it into remission, and I will live as long as I damn well please!!! Can you imagine one human trying to tell another human how long they think they will live?? Who do they think they are? God?! Ha, I am the only one who will go gracefully, when I think my time is up, and I am too pig-headed and stubborn and *****y to let that happen any time soon!! What, die and leave my husband in peace?!!! Oh goodness no!! Now where is the fun in that!!! Ok, as you can see, I am prone to rambling on and on, so I will say goodnight for now, as I forget what we were discussing in the first place!!!!
Hugs from Tiger

jane38
Posts: 137
Joined: Aug 2000

Tiger - A very happy birthday to you, girl. Do something wicked, like get rid of the kid and just you and the hubby make out or something. And of course, you are not going to die anytime soon. Anybody who knows you knows that! Besides, only the good die young. I've living proof of that one. I must have been really bad because I am 62 and still going strong, just like the energizer battery. Seriously, have a very happy birthday, and mark this one as the first of many more to come. Love, Jane

sueholm's picture
sueholm
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2000

Well, I THINK this thread started off about reconstruction, but it now appears to be about bithdays and sex! for the information of the first poster....I have also decided at this time not to go with reconstruction. am just finishing chemo and mastectomy will come end feb (had partial before now must have full) but i too feel that i just cannot deal with any more at the moment. I know it can be done later, but i have sneaking suspicion that i wont ever get it done. but i nver thought about arm in night to rest on! but i doknow right breast will not get in way anymore when playing pool and that could give me a big advantage.....oh anyone who plays pool mihgt like this....my son....wicked break...awseome player...yu will see him on tv one day....broke in an eightballl tournament the other night, and the front ball in the rack shattered. havent heard of it before. so now that his thread has gone from prosthesis, to birthdays, to sex, to pool, i will say goodnight. i notice tony is keeping pretty quiet. we need to bother him again, i can see. Love susan

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

You are right Sue. I lost my right breast too & I take it out to play pool and archery. Funny how you get used to sleeping without a breast there. If I have a nap in the day with my prosthesis in I am very uncomfortable now.We do ramble around a bit don't we? Still we are women. Unlike men we can follow more than one thing at the same time & we always seem to know what we are talking about. Let us know when you are scheduled for mastectomy so we can pull for you. Love. Pam

just_themom
Posts: 6
Joined: Jan 2001

What a wonderful bunch you are! Thank you, it is nice to know that I am among a group of straight talkers!! I just had my 19th anniversary on the 30th. I still havn't decided about the reconstruct yet. One day I'm up and the next day I'm in the pits of self pitty again. If this is menopause, I hope there is sanity on the other end of the hot flash!
Giggles N Grins
Katie

tiger
Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

Jane, thank you for the nice thoughts. I did something wicked twice!! I had cake two days in a row!! I am trying Catherines whole grain/fruit/veggie way of eating, and I have been doing it for about three days now, today I had some battered haddock from the oven, and it was kind of greasy, and is not sitting well in my belly. I have been eating really well, and to cure my sweet tooth I eat red licorice, I will be slim and healthy, i just wont have any teeth from the stuff!!! Did you know that licorice has mineral oil in it? Maybe that is why i have been more ' regular ' than normal!! Beats the hell out of metamucil!! Maybe I will be really wicked tonight and turn the tv off on my hubby and lure him to the bedroom!! He watches wrestling almost everynight of the week, and as much as I enjoy the sight of tanned/ muscular men in skimpy spandex shorts, it does get a little tiresome.
Have a good evening!
Hugs from Tiger. xo

gregc
Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 2003

hi tiger. your name is what attracted me, because my nickname is/was tiger. my wife has metastatic breast cancer and hasn't begun chemo yet, but soon i hope. seems funny to say that, but i'm so scared and angry with the doctors for taking so long to begin it. it seems a real fast one, tumor 6-8cm, in the lung and elsewhere likely. anyway i read a couple of your emails and thought maybe i should write. i have a website up too, but i think i should update it as i put it up just after finding out and i guess it sounded pretty desparate. i''m still desparate, but more emotionally controlled. anyway, if you'd like to share, i'm sure i can learn alot from you that could help my wife. hugs!

judyd
Posts: 130
Joined: Nov 2000

Hi Katie, I haven't checked in here in a couple of days. Looks like you got several responses to your question. Everyone is different & what is important to one person isn't important to another. The thing to remember is how you feel about yourself. I feel the more time goes on the more comfortable I will get with the way I look. If not that can always be "fixed" right? I hope you are feeling better about yourself. Remember you are still here & that is the most important thing. Have a great day. Judy

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