Oct 31, 2000 - 11:51 am
I am a cancer survivor having had Hodgkin's disease in 1974, losing my spleen, going through radiation treatments and being sick all the time, and dealing with long-term complications of the treatment. Recently, I developed swelling of my arm and hand with pain in my upper left chest. I am currently going through test to determine the cause. CT scan revealed enlarged lymph node under my left arm. Also, my left breast appears larger than the right - I am right handed. I am schedule for a mammogram and may hear today whether I will need a biopsy. I am scared that I may have cancer again. I have been told that I am high risk for a second cancer due to the radiation I had years ago. It seems I have had to fight the battle with my health all my life. I developed lung damage, hypothyroidism, heart problems, and now this. Why me!!! I'm scared of what the doctors may find. How will I cope with another blow, how will my family cope. Do I have to be strong for them. Who can I talk to. I have already seen the concern expressed by my wife and fear on her face. I try to disassociate myself from my feelings, and keep a positive attitude, but down deep I am very scared and becoming even more depressed.