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Daughter's denial

kimmies_mom
Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2000

hi. my daughter, Kimmie, is 23 and has just been diagnosed with "fibro lamellar variant" liver cancer. It is already in stage 4, having spread to her lungs. There are numerous tumors in both lungs, upper and lower lobes. She is in what seems to be denial and the family is wondering how to talk to her to make her understand the graveness of her situation, without sounding like we are already putting her in the ground. She is not taking care of her nutrition needs either. Do we need to just sit back, as she is of a legal age to make her own decisions...or is there some way we can kinda push her to be proactive? HELP PLEASE!
Nancy

karenj
Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2000

Hi Nancy...my name is Karen. My husband had colon surgery on Oct. 13 because of a large mass. Later we found out it was cancer and spread to the lymp nod system. Now we find out it is stage 4 because the cancer has spread to the liver and lungs now.

The only advice I can give to you is to pray for your daughter. God hears all prayers. On one hand she is over 18 and is responsible for herself; but on the other hand your her Mother and only wants what is best for her. In my opinion; if she is in denial about the cancer and doesn't want any help from anyone...PRAY FOR HER! I noticed your message was from Oct. 25...How are you and your daughter doing now? I will pray for you and Kimmie.

Karen

BD0808
Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2005

Hi Karen, My husband is having surgery for stage 3 colon cancer July 11th. You sound as if they did not know what the mass was before they cut. Is that true? Did he have chemo and radiation before surgery? I am so afraid and I feel so guilty for not making him get checked sooner.

blee's picture
blee
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2001

It is April 2001 and I've just read your message, so it's been quite a while since your message, year unknown. I had that form of cancer too, and am recovered 3 years after surgery. It is very, very rare and I was lucky it was operable. I was told it was "survivable" at the time of my diagnosis. God bless you in your time of need. It is indeed a hard thing for someone young and vital to accept their own vulnerability, but it is important to know that others have survived and there can be hope.

pamasscats
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2002

Nanacy I am sorry to hear about your daughter. My sister, 29, was diagnosed with breast cancer at 27 and liver cancer last September. There is no easy way to accept the news about cancer. Provide her with a non-threatening atmosphere where she can read stories about chemo or clinical trails on her own. My sister is still very stubborn but we have learned how to approach her in a way that has opened her up. Write letters, leave printouts about treatment at her house, send her emails with encouraging stories, something will hit her and she will find the will to fight. I hope everything goes well. Laura

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