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I am new here

jesusangel
Posts: 7
Joined: Sep 2000

I just recently became a member of the Cancer Survivors Network.

I am 48 years old and this is my second time with breast cancer. I originally had it in April 1989.

I had a right breast mastectomy in March 2000. I started chemo on April 24, 2000. I will probably be taking chemo until December.

I am blessed I have not had that many sick days. Although today has not been an especially good day. I had chemo yesterday and could not go to sleep until 5am this morning. Everything I have tried to eat today has tasted nasty.

Any way, I am too blessed to be stressed.

Jesusangel

murphy
Posts: 45
Joined: Sep 2000

Hi Jesusangel, I am sorry to hear you have had a recurrence and I wish you all the best. Remember, God never gives us more than we can handle and He is our constant friend and guide. Welcome.....I too am fairly new to this site and I think it is wonderful. The memories of chemo treatments are still fresh so I understand what you are saying. I hope each day gets better for you. Take Care and I will pray for you. Murphy

nancys
Posts: 336
Joined: Aug 2000

You're new here and we WELCOME you. We are getting to be a large group of ladies trying to help one another through these most frightening of times. We all go hand in hand. Day by Day. I can not help you with your chemo problem because I have yet to start my chemo(about two weeks away). But I am hear to listen to you and encourage you to keep your spirits high and do whatever it takes to laugh, love, and be grateful for each new and beautiful day. My plan is to distract myself as much as possible with funny movies, bend my friends and loved ones ears & my new friends on this site, and thank GOD everyday for the blessings he has given me in this lifetime. One of my pals sent this to me. I'M too blessed to be stressed....I love that and I am going to print it out and put it on my refrigerator door. Keep in touch with all of us. Your Friend, Nancy

nancyj
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2000

I am 37 years old and had a double masstectomy in september of 1999. I am still not over it. .all I think about is when cancer will pop up again. I need to know how to move on with my life and stop siting on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I am seeing a psychiatrist but it is of no help at all. H only sees me for 10 minutes and refills my medication. Is there anyone out there that can be of some help to me?

tiger
Posts: 292
Joined: Oct 2000

Hi Nancyj, I am Tiger. I go by that name because, like the other ladies on this site, I am fighting like a tiger to get through my chemo and stay alive. I had a mastectomy in jan 00,found out a week later that the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes and my liver. My first oncologist gave me a year to live, well, that was 11 months ago and I am not showing any signs of giving up this fight. I am 31 years old, I have a husband, and two sons, ages 9 and 31/2. I really do not have a choice BUT to beat this thing. Needless to say, I changed oncologists, I wanted someone on my side,and the one I have now is fantastic, not to mention cute!! As for you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, well, if you want to sit around, moping and saying "why me?" then that means you are not a strong person,if your mind is weak then your body is weak, and your cancer will take over because your mind is not willing to fight. There are alot of people out there,and on this site that are alot worse off, but they have the cancer killing key; mind over matter. I do not think of myself as having cancer, I just happen to be bald and a stay at home mom now instead of busting my ass at work for 12 hrs a day. I have seen shrinks before for other problems, and the only thing they will do for you is take your money. You really do not have a problem that you cannot fix yourself. Logging onto this site was the first step in your fight. Your second step is to realize how strong you can be if you want to be,get off the couch and open the windows and take a deep breath of fresh air,and just open your mind to all the opportunities just waiting for you. If you sit around on the couch now while you are fine,and not doing or enjoying life,then what are you going to do if the cancer comes back? Enjoy each day as it comes and thank God for everything that you have. Stop and smell the roses,gaze at the stars,savour your meals and know that all this enjoyment will continue only if you want it too. We are an outstanding group of women who are all going through the roughest times of our lives right now,but no matter how miserable we feel, we are always there for each other,we tolerate our pain together,cry together,and laugh together. We also celebrate life together, so when you want to get off the couch,stop feeling sorry for yourself, and help us get through this,well,we are always here. A strong mind builds a strong body that can deal with anything, besides that, we are women and Lord knows as women we can do anything in the world, including beating cancer together.
I wish you all the best and I really look forward to hearing from you.
Hugs from Tiger.

sueholm's picture
sueholm
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2000

Nancy. I responded to your post with an email directly to you, but then wasnt sure if it got mailed. I have read what the previous writer said to you. I have suffered depression in my life, twice. Both times over changes in my life over which I had no control. this cancer is another change, whch I cannot control, but this time I have not gotten depressed, or felt sorry for myself. the difference? 13 years ago, i decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, admitted I had a chemical dependency problem, and decided to sober up. I abandoned the pills and the booze, and began to really search for a solution to my unhappiness. The moment I opened my mind, and trusted in the advice of others, because my own advice wasnt getting me anywhere, the way forward became clear. Action, I found, was the magic word. You have a choice Nancy. If you have the desire to become well, in mind and body, you can make the choice to live. I went to an alcohol and drug treatment centre. the people who found it hardest to realize they had a drug problem, were the women who were dependent upon prescription drugs. Only you can decide whether I am anywhere close to the truth of your situation. I can only see the desperation in your note to this site. I have been there, I can only tell you what I did. And that I am happy, and coping well with latest turn of events in my life. Do hope you will keep in touch at this site. I am 55, live in Canada, had a partial mastectomy in October, and now have to have a full one after chemo in approx Feb., then radiation. then I plan to live life to its fullest, and if the cancer somes back, so be it. Take care, susan

jane38
Posts: 137
Joined: Aug 2000

Way to go, Tiger!

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

Dear Nancy J

Ditch the psychiatrist. Look at some of the messages posted on this site. You will soon stop feeling sorry for yourself after reading some of them. They must be the bravest bunch of people I've ever come across. You can sit on your couch & worry about it coming back or you can pick up your life and enjoy what time you have left. After my original cancer 19 years ago and a radical mastectomy etc. I decided that I was going to enjoy what time I had and love my family to death in that time. I got 19 years before it came back. Now its in all my bones & lung but I'm still fighting. I have improved tremendously since diagnosis again so I know that I can fight this again & if I am doomed to die soon at least I gave it my best shot.
What's the worst that can happen? Your worst fears come true and by sitting on the couch worrying about it you have already lived through it a hundred times and it hasn't changed anything. Get out there & fight. Have a look at the fight others are putting up. Most of all get out there & LIVE. Don't die before your time by fearing it. We will all give you every bit of help & support you need but the desire to fight has to come from within yourself. So start fighting girl!

Hugs & love
Pam.

jane38
Posts: 137
Joined: Aug 2000

The thing that has helped me the most is my volunteer work with the ACS. Of course, I really don't stay healthy long enough to do much, but what I do, makes me feel really good inside. I, too, would like to know when this will be over. I was diagnosed in March 1999, had my last chemo in October 1999 and last radiation in December 1999. I have had two reconstruction surgeries this year and one more to go. I'm on the right track, I know I am, but the big C is always there on my mind. I have been told by others who have been through this that it takes time, but after the first couple of years, cancer is still there, but not as big. And it is getting better with me. So, it's just a wait and see game I guess. But we will make it. After all, we SURVIVED! Jane

nancys
Posts: 336
Joined: Aug 2000

Hello Nancy, I am also Nancy. I hope you love your name as I have always loved mine. My two older brothers were allowed to choose my name because they wanted a brother and my mother thought if they named me, they would like me better. You know what, it worked! I think they like me. Nan, this is one of those situations we must face in life without understanding the WHY. There is nothing to do but go on one day at a time and take joy in even the smallest thing that brings you happiness. You are just a baby, I am 62, and it is still hard for me. Sometimes I feel sorry for myslf and I cry. Then I dry my tears and get busy with something I enjoy or I call my son or my daughter and hear about whats going on there. Our Tiger is right....You get off that couch and get yourself involved in something. I suggest you get a massage and maybe have a make-up redo and a manicure...go all the way and get a pedicure, too. You are still very feminine. Get on this computer and tell us what you are feeling and we will keep on" fussing" at you until we "fuss" you through this. There is so much love and support in these posts here on the CSN. We have become a family of survivors and our survival is enriched and nourished by our friendships. Stay in touch, your new friend, NancyS

cherdaetwyler
Posts: 165
Joined: Dec 2000

Hi Nancy j,

I am also new here. Just read your message. I had a bilat. masectomiy on Dec.8, 16 days ago.
My cancer is too new to help you there but I can help you with the sitting on th e couch depressed.

The best thing is to find support...other depressed and conquering it people.
These conversations do far more for me than hours with psychiatrists or therapists.

I have worried about recurrence of depression now that I have cancer, but I am coping with that
anxiety, even as I cope with the anxiety of what changes cancer will bring.

The nearest treatment centers are at least an hour away, so I know that the toll on drivers
and friendships may be heavy.

You have my prayers.

cherr

crystal's picture
crystal
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2000

Hello my name is Crystal and I am 36 years old. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February and have just finished my 6 months of chemo. I will start radiation next week. I was lucky to keep the breast, but had 5 lymph nodes positive for cancer. I know what you mean by things tasting bad. I had my husband buy every candy in the store, I was sure one of them would taste good. Wrong. Strong flavors helped, spicy for me. I wish you all the best.

carla
Posts: 5
Joined: Oct 2000

HI, I hope your days are better and that you are
getting some rest. My second diagnosis came in
today and now it appears I have breast and bone
cancer. I'm sure I will have some sick days as
well. Take care, Carla

pamtriggs's picture
pamtriggs
Posts: 408
Joined: Sep 2000

Hello Jesusangel. I too am new to the network. Isn't it wonderful. Also I have just been diagnosed with recurrence following a right breast mastectomy 19 years ago (mets in bones & lung). So far I am responding to treatment but I pray for you and I am there holding your hand on bad days even from so far away (New Zealand). No trouble comes into your life without a compensating blessing & one of them in all this pain & worry is the groups of people out there ready to offer their support to complete strangers. Yes we are blessed.

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