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ebenedict
Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2000
March 29, 2001 - 2:06pm

My mother completed six months of aggressive treatment. Thankfully, it did it's job. However, I feel
that she is worse off then before. She is weak, depressed, and suffering from major anixety.
She cannot be alone, has poor memory, is afraid of living, and has trouble expressing herself.
The doctors have put her on anti-depressants along with a ton of other medications for her cancer.
I'm frustrated and don't quite know how to handle her. At times I feel she "puts this act on," so I give her a dose of
"tough love" and make her excersise etc. so she will get stronger. Then I feel guilty and she ends
up upset with me. Is anyone else finding that after the treatment is just as hard and during the treatment?
I don't know what else to do.

jomou
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2001
May 26, 2001 - 6:53pm

Don't feel guilty about giving your mom "tough love". You want her to do things because you love her and care about her. When you were small, she made you do things you didn't want to do, because it was good for you. Pay attention to her, touch her every day and tell her you love her and need her every day. It will help.

spiritangel
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2002
May 22, 2002 - 10:48pm

I had the same problem with trying to care for my loved one. He wouldn't accept any help, stayed depressed, anxiety over-rode anything in his life and I was stressed to the max trying to get him to LIVE life, not look at each day as if it were depressing. I tried the tough love too but it didn't work for me either, he became so angry he just shut me out all together. Prayer is the only thing I can say helps, it helped me and as a caregiver we need support too. People sometimes forget that the caregiver gets very, very tired and stressed and depressed too.

robmacsd
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2002
February 19, 2003 - 12:21am

Is he improving yet?My husband completed treatments on May 2001. I have had the same problems with him. Have you learned anything new?
Thankyou Margsd