Cancer Survivors Network - Not so brave! - Comments

Your new look

KeriLee — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:27:25 -0500

Your new look is fantastic, you will be surprised at how many people will compliment you on your new style. And the plus side (as we must take the one's we can in all this) it's so easy to take care of very low maintenance, you'll be ready in a jiffy now. P.S. One added thought as I was thinking of how nice it was not shaving my legs ect, keep some tissue on hand at all times because when you don't have nose hair and it runs there's no stopping it. Hang in there you look marvelous darling!!
Keri

Awesome quote!

Marlene_K — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 09:01:34 -0500

What an awesome quote, Vicki... and sooo true! Thanks for sharing!

Just let them be 'moments'...

Marlene_K — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 08:58:51 -0500

It's not easy and none of us asked for this, but just realize that it's something we need to 'deal' with in order to get passed it. Losing my hair was a bummer and I definitely lost it even though I thought I was prepared. I'm guessing we all think it 'might not happen to me' and when it does, it comes as a bit of a shock. As for me, I couldn't bear another moment of big chunks of hair coming out in my hand, so I took the bull by the horn and chopped it off. I still have a little bit of peach fuzz on top because I figured I could deal with that falling out. Since Thursday, I now have a couple bald spots on the sides of my head, but for some reason, at least right now, just can't deal with shaving it all off. Just don't ever let the beast take charge. We have cancer... cancer doesn't have us!!!

Thanks for the smile, Stef!

Marlene_K — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 08:53:12 -0500

What a really sweet note, Stef... Thank you!

just remember 1 thing

xskeetshooter — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:30:19 -0500

it will grow back

just remember 1 thing

xskeetshooter — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:30:18 -0500

it will grow back

Marlene Your are a head of

sweetvickid — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:47:04 -0500

Marlene
Your are a head of me in this journey. Won't be starting Chemo until the week of the 16th. My husband has told me the outer stuff doesn't make you feminine or sexually attractive. It's something intangible that comes from within that women just naturally seem to have.

I know that to the outside world and especially family we need to appear positive but be realistic with your self. This is a scary time in our life and we are going to run the whole gambit of emotions. And everyone of those emotions we feel are justified. Thank God we have this forum that we can let our emotions run rampant and we will be understood.

Here is my favortie quote. I don't blame this on God but the devil.
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

Love and prayers being sent to you
Vicki

hair...

elizarose — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:13:05 -0500

I just want to encourage everyone dealing with the loss of hair to not feel like any one way is the "right" way. For me, I just felt like dealing with BC, loss of my home, chemo, and feeling like poo was bad enough that as traumatic as losing the hair was (I cried more than once) I finally gave in to being bald and beautiful!! And honestly, I felt so bad physically, it was nice not to have to fix my hair, or shave or pluck the yucky upper lip hairs. The worst part was losing my eyebrows and eyelashes, but they came out last and grew back quickly. When I finally decided to go to church bald it was very liberating! So many people told me how good I looked bald and one guy even said it was sexy. Maybe they just said it to make me feel good (it worked) but I was much more relaxed not worrying whether my scarf was crooked or sliding off.

Much love!
Beth

wow you ladies are amazing I

newbiefromcananda — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:55:24 -0500

wow you ladies are amazing I have not started chemo yet and thought I was prepared for the sickness/hair loss etc but the closer I get to it the more anxiety I get :( thanks Ladies I will be here more often!!! xoxoxo

Marlene, That wig looks so

fauxma — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:51:23 -0500

Marlene,
That wig looks so natural that I would not have known if you hadn't said it was. SOrry about the bad day but looks like you have worked that through. Way to go. And how nice that you and your ex are going to be friends. Always a plus. Your positive attitude and outlook will help you immensely through all of this and beyond. You are a big plus on this board. And remember we are here for you no matter what or through everything. You also have an very good looking group of kids.
Stef

I'm a very lucky lady!

Marlene_K — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:08:38 -0500

Talk about caressing my ego! Thank you so very much, beautiful ladies~ this really means a LOT to me and as we ALL know, it's something that helps us day to day! If we can't enjoy life (even through these trying moments), why keep living? I had one of the most awful mornings of my life yesterday morning, but I managed to turn it around. Ok, and I will admit, after an entire day of wearing the wig, I will most definitely be wearing some scarves & hats, but it's all good... really!

And now, just minutes ago, my ex-husband of nearly 4 years (we were married for 16) just asked me to be his friend on Facebook. Woo Hoo! Must be the great new wig, lol! I actually asked for the divorce but I always wanted to remain friends. He was always too bitter. Even if it takes this 'setback' to make it happen, at least it gives reason! It seems there is ALWAYS good to look forward to even when this disease tries to take the best of us. Stand up and look the beast in the face and take charge! It feels GREAT when we come out ahead.

I love all my new found buddies and I thank you all with all my heart for being here! I am such a lucky lady! Mar

Beautiful Marlene. That wig

natly15 — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:27:45 -0500

Beautiful Marlene. That wig looks real. You scored a grand slam. You couldnt look any more feminine than you do right now. Hang in there. You have quite a few baldies standing with you.

Your new wig!

mimivac — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:38:38 -0500

Wow, you are stunning! Seriously, you remind me of the actress who played Donna Moss on the West Wing, Janel Maloney. She's gorgeous and so are you. Good job with the wig.

Mimi

Marlene, you look beautiful

MyTurnNow — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:29:14 -0500

Marlene, you look beautiful in your wig. Unless you tell people, no one would know. Very classy!!

i went to a place that does

carkris — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:20:29 -0500

i went to a place that does your wig colors it etc,, and thn buzzes it for you in aprivate area. I just decided I wanted a stranger to do it (she was awesome) because I didnt want the association with it later and I am very self concious person. it took me a while to look at my self. I am slowly getting to letting my husband see me. I wear the cotton sleep hats and scarves mostly. I unfortunately had a rough go on the AC so have been slow about dealing with the bald issue. I do know that I wanted to buzz it before the hair started coming out and I did . I had BC 15 years ago and did not lose my hair but it thinned and Ihad a baby and it just came out in her fingers (you know how they like to grab hair) so iknew ihated that. I 'm glad I didnt wait. But my husband kept saying you should do it this day or that day and i definately did it WHEN I WAS READY he was going by when you predictably lose it on day so and so. Anyways I still have a little stubble. still have my eyebrows and lashes although i hear that may happen still. and a little in other places. My husband is so good to me even though after a double mastectomy, bald, sick I do feel markedly less feminine My family never makes me feel that way. so it helps.
Songs help me too. as far as feelings go, remember the late Dan Fogelbergs song Part of the Plan? "I have these moments a all steady and strong feeling so holy and humble the next thing I know i'm all worried and weak I feel myself starting to crumble..." love whenyou can cry when you have to be who you must thats a part of the plan await your arrival with simple survival and one day we will all understand.....I also love Stand bt rascall flatts and somedays its Welcome to the jungle by Guns and roses, on angry days i like the song I hate everyone its a song on Greys Anatomy soundtrack and it just makes me laugh!!!

Not so brave!

Marlene_K — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:43:45 -0500

Well it's happening... my hair is starting to shed. Funny story... I told my 11 yr old boy and he said 'oh really?' and he grabbed my hair and took out a BUNCH of strands. He stood holding them in his hand, feeling bad, and said 'hmmmm, well can we put them back in?' It did make me laugh! Only out of the mouth of babes. Anyway, I'm not dealing too well. I've had a few panic attacks since realizing that it's really happening. I'm a very positive person, and I truly thought I was prepared, but I'm starting to feel like this might be the hardest thing yet. And I feel ashamed because I should be focusing on the fact that I came through my 1st chemo treatment with flying colors...