Cancer Survivors Network - My husband's battle has ended ;( - Comments

Patty

MichelleP — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:55:15 -0400

I felt the same way. At one point I truly thought we could beat this cancer. I was in total denial running around like a robot with no sleep....there was one and only thing on my mind. Saving my Donald. I thought that with all the love I had for him and the constant prayers to God asking for more time that somehow a miracle would happen. It didn't my dear....but I can tell you that I don't blame God....I blame the cancer. In fact after his passing I went out of my mind throwing out anything and everything in this house that reminded me of the cancer.

As far as strength....if I weren't 100% positive that my love is still here with me at this very moment I would crumble. I even prayed to my husband after his passing and asked him to talk to God and ask that I could follow. Just the thought of living my life without him is something I couldn't and can't imagine even at this moment.

I'll be sending you a pm following this post. Please....please....contact me anytime you want. You and I are and have lived the same painful journey and perhaps we can help each other. I truly care Patty!

PS And as far as knowing who you are and being able to hear you at the end....he can and will....don't stop talking to him. He CAN hear you!

your strenght gives me hope

pattynonews — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:40:08 -0400

Your strenght Michelle is giving me hope I just pray that I can be as strong as you, I feel like I shutting down already, I am so afraid to lose Jack, I honestly believe he does not have months, i believe it is going to be sooner and it is breaking my heart, I just hope he knows who I am at the end and he knows that I will always love him and we will be one soul, and one spirit, I just cant stop crying now, Please help me get though this, I need some support

OPPS! I double posted

grandmafay — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:30:34 -0400

OPPS! I double posted somehow. Fay

New Battle

grandmafay — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:24:44 -0400

I am so sorry that you are having to fight this new battle. It's sad when relatives care more about funds and things than people. I will continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers. An attorney might be a good idea. Fay

So Very Sorry.....

trish07 — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:50:41 -0400

Michelle, my heart goes out to you for your recent loss...I know you mentioned before that you do not have alot of friends where you are living, so I am glad to see that you are still coming here. I'ts so sad that the grown children are creating unneeded stress for you. Just do everything you can to protect yourself and hand the rest to God.

I have seen on the board what a heartfelt support you are being to our friend Patty in her time of need...what a remarkable and caring lady you are.

God Bless You and take special care of yourself during this time,
Trish

vulture like behavior...

SonSon — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:34:09 -0400

This is not a cancer specific behavior (we can all recognize that, right?).

This is a family dynamics issue. This may be a blessing for you in that you do not have to spend any more time with them unless you want to...self preservation. Take care of yourself no matter how many toes you have to step on.

I wish I could help you...I could be your page with the notebook and cell phone...helping tie all the loose ends for you. I am pretty organized like that. And I would make you wonderful fresh blended lemon and lime drink - NO alcohol, either...just yum.

Fatima

Blue is 100% correct!

terato — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:52:01 -0400

Michelle,

To provide you time for emotional and spiritual healing, you need to turn estate matters over to a reliable attorney. If you belong to a church or synagogue, you may find one advertising in the back of the weekly bulletin. If you do not have access to a faith community or similar referral, you can search for an estate attorney via:
http://www.search-attorneys.com/ You need a legal gladiator in your corner.

It is very unfortunate that the passing of loved ones often separates the "vultures" from the "angels" in families.

Love and Courage!

Rick

How Horrible For You

bluerose — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 05:24:19 -0400

I am so sorry to hear that your children have been so insensitive and greedy. It's unfathonable to hear that at a time like this when grieving would take priority for all in the family, just awful. I am so so sorry you have to deal with this at a time like this, sounds like you did the right thing by freezing the accounts though. Is there no one to help you with all the details, like a friend? You have to get someone in to give you a hand. Maybe a lawyer could handle the legal issues like the mortuary and financial stuff for the time til you are ready to take some things on.

I hope things gel better for you in the next few days. Even though we know the end is near for a loved one it always comes as a big shock and all the details overwhelm us. Sending you a prayer and a big hug. Blessings, Bluerose

I thought that making

MichelleP — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:37:43 -0400

I thought that making financial phone calls could wait a day or too but I was wrong. Within the first 24 hrs his adult children were trying to access bank accts and pension accts. It's been just awful...I had to spend most of my day yesterday calling and freezing accounts. Then I got a call from the mortuary saying they demanded release of him and death certificates. I'm living in a nightmare. I need to just lay down and let the tears flow and grieve. I'm fighting with everything I have to contain my composure. This is really hard.

So sorry to hear

junklady — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:50:04 -0400

Michelle-I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. I have no great words of comfort, but I want you to know I am thinking of you. You were so lucky to have his love. Hugs Michelle.

Michelle

angelsbaby — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:38:13 -0400

I am very sorry for the loss of your love. my thoughts and prayers are with you. I was holding my husband also i feel blessed .

michelle n

So very sorry!

RE — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 06:17:32 -0400

Oh Michelle I am so very sorry for you loss, there are no words I can pen here that will make it better. I just want you to know that you will be in my prayers. Sending a tender hug to you as you travel down this new road. I believe your husband is out there watching over you with all the love he has always had for you.

Hugs,

Condolences

SonSon — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:55:40 -0400

Michelle,
Huggs and kisses to you.
What a sweet moment "marry me"...he loves you so much.
Fatima

Thinking of you...

jestawoman — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:30:41 -0400

So sorry for your loss Michelle... BIG hugs and much sympathy. In the coming days, remember you have lots of folks here thinking about you and sending you light and strength....
Peace.

Hugs Michelle

bluerose — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:26:46 -0400

I just wanted to send you my condolances. There are no words at this time but I know that you can rest in the knowledge that you both shared a wonderful life and love that never ends. Don't hesitate to come online and share your thoughts with us still and we we are so glad to know that we could help at some point, even a little.

Hugs Michelle and Blessings, Bluerose

My husband's battle has ended ;(

MichelleP — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:05:51 -0400

I wanted to let you know that my husband's long and brave battle has ended. He fought so bravely and I'm so proud of him. We couldn't do anything....the cancer finally beat us.

His last moments were peaceful and I was holding him in my arms. I told him that everything was going to be okay and that he needs to follow the light. I know he heard me because he moved his eyes and squeezed my hand.

Two days before he passed he sat up....opened his eyes...smiled and asked me to "Marry Him". That is a memory I will forever hold in my heart.

I want to thank all of you for the support you've given me during our journey. You've helped more than you will ever know.