Cancer Survivors Network - O.K. I done it! - Comments

Good Luck

angelsbaby — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:18:16 -0400

On your new journey

michelle

Cycle of Violence

SonSon — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 08:30:12 -0400

Do not be fooled by his apologies, begging for forgiveness, promises to never do it again, promises to make things better....
This is all part of the cycle of violence. Once you let your guard down and give in to his wishes for you to stay it will just keep rolling forward and around and around...
Many people romanticize this by saying "makeup sex is the best..." - what they are not pointing out, at least not directly, is the fight. Smaller squabbles are pretty normal - fist fights are not. Disagreements that are discussed are normal, total control by one partner at any cost is not.
Keep moving forward with your self care. Yes, you will think about him and wish you could be with him for the good things he's been for you. But remind yourself soberly of the pain that he's caused you and the behavior that he is unable to change.
In this cycle you have an abuser and a victim - the only way to break the cycle is to remove one of those factors. Remove the victim and the abuser stops (until he finds some other unsuspecting victim).
((((((TASHA))))))) hugs
Fatima

Good girl!

lindaprocopio — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:02:58 -0400

I'm so glad you did this. From your earliest posts when you were getting chemo, suffering his unreasonable demands and pettiness, I always wanted you OUT of there. It's scary and hard to give up that tiny shred of security, even when that security is shaky and comes at such a high price. I'm very proud of you. I know personally what it takes to do what you have just done. ((((((big hug)))))).

You Go Girl!

Shayenne — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:22:00 -0400

I'm very happy to hear that you are out of the arms of an abuser! No one ever has the right to hit someone else! I hope you are very happy where you are, I can feel the empowerment in your post, I'm proud of you!

Hugsss!
~Donna

Congratulations..........

Buzzard — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:46:38 -0400

You are an inspiration to a lot of women out there...and Im sure men also...an abusive relationship is one to quickly remove your self from....good job girl.......Good Luck to you.....Clift

YOU CAN MAKE IT

poopsiegal — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 22:42:46 -0400

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU U GO GURL YOU HAVE OUR SUPPORT.NOONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED AND I AM GLAD U GOT THE STRENGTH TO LEAVE.

SonSon

tasha_111 — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 22:21:30 -0400

Thank you very much, and everyone else who has helped me through this most heartwrenchingly difficult decission. My Ex is laying it on and making this even harder, he has promised me everything under the sun..BUT, he can't turn the clocks back and undo all that has been going on, and saying.."I'm sorry, I was so wrong" Is just too little, too late. He's threatened all sorts, begged, pleaded and promised.....now he is split between compromising and taking to his bed in utter depression. I am in no way a cold hearted person, BUT I can't allow myself to put up with his nastiness anymore, nor should I. My self preservation button has been pushed and that is that!
I am now looking forward to stage 5........Life without him.
Maybe your priorities change with a cancer diagnosis, maybe not, mine were forced to change, and I really have all you great STRONG supportive people to thank for your empathy and understanding. You have helped me, not pushed or judged me. I thank you all. Huge Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxx

Hip Hip Hooray!

SonSon — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 20:54:28 -0400

I don't know you or your story - but any person who walks away from an abusive situation deserves a cheer.
I was speaking to a religious person about an acquaintance who was having serious marital problems that included physical and mental abuse. I was making the argument for helping her to divorce and his comment was "oh, yes, she could take the easy way out...". BS - leaving is NOT EASY. I've been there and I KNOW.
So - YOU, Tasha, just remember that YOU are worth the trouble you are going through and that you are a beautiful, intelligent, loving, love-able and deserving person.
Fatima

Good for you

slickwilly — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:11:30 -0400

Tasha. What a long and twisted road you have been down. I hope you have found the peace in your life that you deserve. And that includes a toilet that won't fall over and being treated with respect. I know you appreciate the little things in life and will love decorating your own place. Just imagine being in charge of your own T.V. remote control and not having someone switching the channels ha ha. Holy my wife hates that! Best of luck Slickwilly

I'm glad you have your own

tiny one — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 11:14:08 -0400

I'm glad you have your own place. No one deserves to live in an abusive situation. It took alot of strength to do what you did. You deserve to be happy and be treated like a queen.

Thank you all

tasha_111 — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 04:50:12 -0400

For the encouragement and support......I'll get there, it's just an emotional roller-coaster at the moment.....Thank you all...... Hugs Jxxxxxxxx

Yay!!

Sally08 — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:20:03 -0400

Congratulations!! :)
I'm so happy for you!! :D
That's such a huge deal,
Awesome!!
lol
Sally.

Way to go, Tasha!

terato — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 19:45:21 -0400

Being alone can often be a gift! You deserve much happiness and peace of mind after all you have endured. This new life of yours will prove an adventure. You will become much more creative in how you structure your life and wind up being proud of what you will accomplish for yourself.

Many congratulations!

Love and Courage!

Rick

I wish you nothing but

MichelleP — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:49:49 -0400

I wish you nothing but happiness and finally some peace of mind Tasha! No woman deserves to be abused! Keep in touch and let us know how things are going please!

O.K. I done it!

tasha_111 — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:57:27 -0400

After years of abuse I finally got my own apartment..........In a foreign country.........I am english, I arrived here 6 years ago to be with a canadian...........I loved him sooooooooooo much///////not any more...............he chased that person away..........\anyway..........I'm going to make it alone..........Thanks for all your good wishes.......... hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx