Cancer Survivors Network - Memory Problems - Comments

Hi Lily

rwagner — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 21:58:45 -0400

My dad has stage IV melanoma, which has spread to his brain and is causing him confusion and destroying his ability to function mentally and physically.

I can recommend an interesting book called "My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte Taylor. This is her own story about having a catastrophic stroke from which she ultimately recovered. What may be useful to you is how she describes the time when she was cognitively impaired, so that may help you understand what your husband is experiencing. In the back of the book, she lists 40 ideas for people who provide care to patients with any kind of brain functionality issues, emphasizing compassion and patience. Her advice has been immeasurably helpful for me in accepting my dad's condition and helping me know how to show my love for my dad and stay strong and positive.

I hope you find some peace where you are at.
R

seek help. a speech

sue Siwek — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 20:39:48 -0400

seek help. a speech therapist can do wonders.

Hang in there lily...they

beckyracn — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:23:22 -0400

Hang in there lily...they all grow up eventually. Even the big cranky ones!

Thanks

lily33 — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 11:56:09 -0400

Thank you all for your feedback. I think the most frustrating part is that my husband knows he can't remember things and he refuses to make any adjustments to help himself. He won't take the advice from others or come up with his own. Plus, I have 3 children under 8 yrs old so many time I feel like I actually have 4 kids, but the big one is cranky and too big to send to his room! It really helps to know memory issues are common. Sometimes I think I'm the one that can't remember instead of him.

lily33

'Chemo fog' was a biggy with

beckyracn — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 10:05:40 -0400

'Chemo fog' was a biggy with me. I would get lost driving routes that I'd driven for years...it was very scary. Still having problems with short term memory, thank God for sticky notes, and I finished my treatments last August. I continue to write everything down, especially if it means a trip to the grocery store, otherwise I come out with a cart load of stuff minus what I originally went in for :( I also carry a spelling ace for work, because I've lost the ability to spell things correctly. And trying to figure out how to say what's on the tip of your tongue...I have to do a lot of quick thinking to say what I actually want to say. It has lessened over time, but still a work in progress.

memory problems

Katmir — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 09:33:01 -0400

lily,

below are some suggestions on how you can handle your hubby's daily memory issues. i did the caregiving thing for my dad who suffered from alzheimers disease before i got into the cancer thing with my mom. hopefully you'll find some of these helpful!

Offer support and supervision
Concentrate on the process, not the result
Be flexible and patient (this is a biggie!!)
Be realistic and relaxed
Help get the activity started
Break activities into simple, easy-to-follow steps
Assist with difficult parts of the task
Let the individual know he or she is needed (this is a biggie!!)
Stress a sense of purpose
Don't criticize or correct the person (this is a biggie!!!)
Encourage self-expression

i'm so sorry you're dealing with this stuff-- i know it's not easy. my greatest blessing came from the support of others on forums. my hope is you'll find that, too.

let me know how you're doing with all this... you count, lily.

memory loss and brain function

slickwilly — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:38:57 -0400

Lily33. Your going to find a bunch of people here that have delt with memory loss. Sometimes it gets better with time and sometimes we learn to live with it. Multi tasking issues also come with the territory. I have answered this same question about every two weeks on the discussion boards. I am glad my home has smoke detectors as many things have burnt on my stove and my dog is not happy when he is left out in the rain. I have books with addresses, phone numbers ect and calendars with appointments and pills I have taken. And I had chemo 6 years ago. Doing crossword puzzles helped get most of my brain function back. Sometimes it feels like the answer is locked behind a door in my brain and I can't get it open. It can be frustrating. Best of luck. Slickwilly

Memory Problems

lily33 — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:47:16 -0400

My husband has stage IV kidney cancer and has horrible memory problems. He's gone through the removal of his tumor and kidney, other biopsies, IL-2, an experimental drug, Sutent, and is now on Nexevar. I think it's definitely due to the chemo. Has anyone else had their loved one experience memory loss? Mostly short term loss, but also some long term as well. Thanks for sharing!

lily33