Cancer Survivors Network - Update on ankle - Comments

David

MichelleP — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 19:47:11 -0400

I'm so sorry for what you're going through with your wife. I am a caregiver also for my husband with stage 3 lung cancer. I must be with him 24/7 unless our son can stay for 1-2 hrs. No time for myself at all and I'm beginning to feel the physical effects that many caregivers endure. We are so busy taking care of them that we forget about ourselves. I too am supposed to have surgery on both feet. They said I would be in crutches for 6 months in addition to physical therapy, but I don't see how I can do anything like that at this point. Your surgery obviously needed immediate attention unlike mine does.

Have you checked into home nursing with your insurance company. I know that don't do much, but anything helps right? Please take care and keep us updated. In the meantime, please don't take your wife comments personally....it's all part of the process of the disease.

Ankle

kimby — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 14:13:36 -0400

David,

I'm happy to hear that you're going back to work. It may feel like a break to be there all day! I, like your wife, am living with stage IV colon canzer. I was diagnosed 8/07 and am still in treatment. However, I'm in such a totally different place than your wife. Is she getting help? Therapy, counseling, spiritual guidance? I am a Buddy through the Colon canzer Alliance and she can get paired there with someone in a similar situation more local to you, or she can contact me here. I'd be so happy to speak with her!

My prognosis is grim. I planted asparagus this year (3 yrs to harvest a full crop) and am planning an asparagus party that spring. (2012) I'm giving my husband a surprise 50th birthday party the end of this month. I'm taking my husband, children and mother on a cruise in August. In September I begin training to become a Laughter Therapist and will start small programs at a couple of canzer Centers. I'm finding things everyday to celebrate. I experience moments of joy everyday. And my only 'rule' for myself is to have fun every.single.day.

Your wife is struggling. You already know that. It makes this process so much more difficult for her, but I honestly don't know how YOU do it. Even with my outlook and optimism (I have my days! LOL) this is still overwhelming for my husband. We have a great support system, but this has broken his heart. It's working on his spirit. That's why the party. I sent out 150 invites to friends, long-ago friends, co-workers, family, etc. This is to celebrate HIS life. He deserves it. I require a LOT of help with the planning and set-up and everyone is chipping in.

Have you had a real break? Is there something you do that renews your spirit? My husband likes mushroom hunting. He went twice this year for a few days each, 7 hours drive to walk in the woods alone all day...wow, such excitement! But he loved it and brought me home yellow morels....yummm. He went fishing with his brother. (Yep, I benefited again.) He's fussing in his garden. You need to take care of you, too. Your wife will get better care if you take care of yourself first.

Best Wishes,

Kimby

P.S. I sent you a PM

Update on ankle

david54 — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 02:57:51 -0400

A few weeks ago I posted about my fractured left ankle. I am a caregiver for my wife with stage 4 colon cancer, 18 months with chemotherapy.

I needed surgery on my ankle, (June 2nd) a plate over my fibula and screws over my tibia to help with “Proper Union.” It has been a terrible experience, the pain was blinding, but I will go back to work next Monday.

I am not sure what to share – I am really tired. My wife really has no empathy. Her comment was “You will heal from this, I won’t heal from mine.”

I can see where she is more fatigued because I cannot help her as much, at least for 6 weeks no weight bearing!