Cancer Survivors Network - Mother is getting weaker by the day and so am I - Comments

For You

Cindy54 — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:03:38 -0400

I also was thinking that you and hubby could go to Hawaii and check things out. Can he come with you? You could get things going the way you feel they should be done..which will ease some of that anxiety...and still have time with hubby. It is not selfish to want time with your spouse. But I know you are torn between Mom and being with hubby. One thing I asked myself when I was a caregiver...what will I be able to live with down the road as far as making a decision. ...Can you go for a visit and see firsthand just what the situation is? Often times info has a way of gaining all sorts of things until we see the real thing for ourselves.I wish you well...Cindy

Toooo much....

zahalene — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 08:57:50 -0400

Tania, I am so sorry. The situation you describe is toooo much for anyone to handle. You must find a way to help yourself so you can help others.
What if you and hubby took a 'real honeymoon' this summer....IN HAWAII??? It might turn out to be a partly 'working vacation', but hey, nothing's perfect. At least you would be close to your mom. And I bet your hubby would be very understanding about the need to share you.
I would come and house-sit for you in L.V. (lol, jk...I WISH). Anyway, keep working on it...I am sure there is a solution in there somewhere. And, meantime, get your self checked out and explore the possibility of anxiety/depression meds if you haven't already.
Hugs. See u on FB.

Mother is getting weaker by the day and so am I

HonuBeginnings — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 02:01:01 -0400

It is so hard with me all the way in Las Vegas while she is in Hawaii. However, I can't go and stay in Hawaii. I have a husband and daughter that need me as well as dealing with my own medical issues. I am trying to get my sister to go to Hawaii to at least try and help a little, but she is so selfish I don't think she will. She has not seen my mother since this started. She even refuses to talk to her on the phone or even email. I don't know how to help them. My older sister who is currently taking care of mom, has two very active children and is finding it hard to make time to take care of mom too.