I think I am done.

Got my scan back. I guess I failed first line treatment. It is in my liver and brain. I
had radiation on my brain today. Next week they decide which second line to do for the liver. Guess, I better get my house in order. I am pretty shocked, being that I thought I was doing well. Then a few days ago, my arm and leg went limp. No ordinary neuropathy, a tumor is causing this. I can still write with my left hand. This sucks.....I am going to to eat all the pineapple cheesecake in my fridge tonight.

Nan
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Comments

  • nancy591
    nancy591 Member Posts: 1,027 Member
    SORRY!!!
    {{{{NAN}}}} I am so sorry to hear. I can imagine how devastating that news is. UGH!

    Those 2nd line meds DO work for some people. Don't count yourself out yet...PLEASE. Hang in there Nan. We are with you, for better or for worse. I do believe most of us will be walking a similar path one day. Just some of us sooner than others.

    Let yourself absorb the shock and mourn the reality of it all. I am sure you will be ready to continue your fight. And yes...enjoy that cheesecake!

    Let us know what they decide.
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    Sorry
    you received such scary news. Please know you are in so many prayers. We are all facing the unknown on a daily basis. Keep fighting. It's all we have.

    Karen
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980
    kikz said:

    Sorry
    you received such scary news. Please know you are in so many prayers. We are all facing the unknown on a daily basis. Keep fighting. It's all we have.

    Karen

    ((((Nan)))) Definitely scary, but hang in there.
    I have a friend who last year had liver mets that chemo made disappear and brain mets that radiation made disappear. She's still here. You may have more time than you think, Nan. I sincerely hope so.

    I already have liver mets, but remain symtom free. But I well remember the "beginning of the end" feeling I had with that news 2 months ago, and again when my CA125 started to spike up over 100 points a week, week after week. ((((Nan)))). I get my CT/PET scan results on Tuesday, a scan triggered by my CA125 spiking up 550 points in a couple of months to an alarming 876 even though I am currently getting chemo. So I am also expecting bad news next week.

    I believe that you will probably get over this latest shock and somehow hope will flicker awake again, just like it did with me, just like it did with my friend. We don't always win, and each of us has to personally decide when to walk away from the battle. But don't be surprised if you feel differently once the shock wears off, and are ready to give it one more go. I hope I will decide correctly when my time comes. But I don't think that time is here yet for me. And you may decide you're not there yet either. My heart goes out to you as we each can so easily see ourselves in your place and know it likely will be a part of our future.
  • VictoriaSF
    VictoriaSF Member Posts: 165
    stay focused and try to be positive and believe
    hi Nan
    it is horrible news, but you never know - second line treatment may help and miracles do happened.
    You will be in my prayers

    please stay focused on recovery and positive.
    it should help.

    hugs and blessings

    Victoria
  • Cindy Bear
    Cindy Bear Member Posts: 569
    oh crap
    Crap.. that's all I can say right now.. Cancer sucks. it really does. I am so sorry to hear this, wish I could offer sage words.. please try to hang in there.. you never know ...miracles do happen.. maybe your dr. like the wizard of Oz, will pull something out of his bag for you.
    Big Hugs and prayers,
    Cindy
  • MK_4Dani
    MK_4Dani Member Posts: 314
    You have more fight.
    Eat the whole cheesecake. Let the shock wear off. You have more fight and the doctors have more drugs. A friend of mine (breast cancer) had mets to liver and brain and she is still around after brain radiation and 2nd line treatment. That was two years ago. She is going strong and has a wonderful quality of life. Don't give up Nan. Keep fighting.
    Carlene is trying out a vaccine for us....wait for it!
    Lots of hugs and encouragement for you. More importantly: prayers.
    Mary
  • zinaida
    zinaida Member Posts: 221
    (((NAN)))! Please, enjoy
    (((NAN)))! Please, enjoy your cheesecake. Do you have some anxiety pills? They help me not to have all the time bad thoughts in my mind and I can go sleep little bit easy. I hope it is will help you for first couple days, until you will find for yourself how to cope. Love you, my teal sister, Zina.
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    Nan,
    I'm so sorry to hear this! It sounds like you have a team of doctors that are reacting quickly, so that is good. Never ever give up fighting. There is always hope!
    (((((hugs)))))) and prayer for you today,
    kathleen
  • kayandok said:

    Nan,
    I'm so sorry to hear this! It sounds like you have a team of doctors that are reacting quickly, so that is good. Never ever give up fighting. There is always hope!
    (((((hugs)))))) and prayer for you today,
    kathleen

    (((nan)))
    Don't give up nan, let the news sink in , you may feel differently in a couple of days, and be ready to give this fight anopther go, I do hope so.
    We had some terrible news this week about mums chemo, we thought it was the end of the world, but we have to pick ourselves up and keep on with the fight , it is all we can do.
    keep fighting soldier xxxxxxx
  • joan60
    joan60 Member Posts: 89
    Fist up!!!
    Don't let the beast beat you, roll up your sleeves and give it a one two punch!!!! In the mean time enjoy that cheesecake and I know it is hard, but try to remain positive, even though I don't know you personally I wish you the best and my thoughts are with you!!!
    Joan
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    HAVE A PIECE OF CHEESECAKE ON ME!
    No easy words here, Nan. I'm so sorry to hear this. But everyone is right - there's still a lot of fight left in you, and still more options. Do you feel completely confident with your doctor? Sometimes a second opinion doesn't hurt. Whatever you decide, we are here for you. Wish I could be there to give you a reassuring hug. But since I can't, I'm sending lots of virtual hugs, and an ENORMOUS amount of prayer. Please keep in touch.

    (((HUGS)))
    Monika

    P.S. I've never had pineapple cheesecake - that's a new one for me. Did you make it yourself?
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    Enjoy your cheesecake !
    Whatever you need to do to deal with this monster disease , eat two cheesecake if you want. You know I'm going to be craving pineapple cheesecake all day today, lol.
    Dealing with what you are faced with is tough , but take a deep breath and then get into fighting mode and kick ****. Everyday is a new chance for a breakthru in our treatment, you are in my thoughts.
    Colleen
  • goatiegirl
    goatiegirl Member Posts: 16

    Enjoy your cheesecake !
    Whatever you need to do to deal with this monster disease , eat two cheesecake if you want. You know I'm going to be craving pineapple cheesecake all day today, lol.
    Dealing with what you are faced with is tough , but take a deep breath and then get into fighting mode and kick ****. Everyday is a new chance for a breakthru in our treatment, you are in my thoughts.
    Colleen

    Thanks for all your well wishes...
    Today I feel like I have more fighting spirit. Thanks for the advice and words of support!
    I hope Carleen is helping us find another solution. Bless everyone!

    Nan
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338

    Thanks for all your well wishes...
    Today I feel like I have more fighting spirit. Thanks for the advice and words of support!
    I hope Carleen is helping us find another solution. Bless everyone!

    Nan

    Dear Nan
    I'm glad you're feeling stronger today.... could be the new pineapple cheesecake diet. Bless you and sending you hugs............. Maria
  • anicca
    anicca Member Posts: 334 Member

    Thanks for all your well wishes...
    Today I feel like I have more fighting spirit. Thanks for the advice and words of support!
    I hope Carleen is helping us find another solution. Bless everyone!

    Nan

    I'm glad you are feeling
    I'm glad you are feeling better today. You are still alive and there is still hope. Have more cheesecake and whatever else appeals to you. I am hoping the radiation & Chemo will give you more (& quality) time.
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    you have a lot of living to do
    dear girl you are not done yet.you have a lot of spunk and fight left in you. I am glad you are feeling better today. we are here for you and we are praying for you. Make another cheescake, maybe we can have some over coffee one day. I would like that. We can do this and get rid of cancer once and forall
  • carolenk
    carolenk Member Posts: 907 Member
    Stay strong
    Just because you have lesions in scary places doesn't mean the end is near. I am sure there is still a lot of you that is healthy.

    I read Lance Armstrong's book: "It's Not About the Bike" and he writes that when his brain tumors were operated on--they had already become necrotic.

    I would hope that you could find an alternative physician to guide you the rest of the way to wellness. Unfortunately, insurance doesn't want to reimburse you for these out-of-network doctors. Or try Cancer Treatment Centers of America, they take a holistic approach.

    stay strong,

    Carolen
  • azgrandma
    azgrandma Member Posts: 609 Member
    carolenk said:

    Stay strong
    Just because you have lesions in scary places doesn't mean the end is near. I am sure there is still a lot of you that is healthy.

    I read Lance Armstrong's book: "It's Not About the Bike" and he writes that when his brain tumors were operated on--they had already become necrotic.

    I would hope that you could find an alternative physician to guide you the rest of the way to wellness. Unfortunately, insurance doesn't want to reimburse you for these out-of-network doctors. Or try Cancer Treatment Centers of America, they take a holistic approach.

    stay strong,

    Carolen

    Don't give up
    Don't give up hope, that is what keeps us all going. I try to take it one day at a time. I will say some prayers for you. Keep your hope alive and strong
  • Elarsen
    Elarsen Member Posts: 9
    Parp Inhibitors
    My wife was diagnosed over Christmas and we just had our first week of chemo. I have been studying A LOT about this cancer and I have been planning for the next step if this fails. The new Parp Inhibitors hold what I think will be the 2nd line for us, should that come. There are clinical trials for BRCA mutation patients and I think there are some for non-BRCA 1 and 2, 1st line fail patients out there as well (my wife is BRCA-2).

    We won't give up if you don't :) Hang in there!
  • sofarstillhere
    sofarstillhere Member Posts: 19
    Elarsen said:

    Parp Inhibitors
    My wife was diagnosed over Christmas and we just had our first week of chemo. I have been studying A LOT about this cancer and I have been planning for the next step if this fails. The new Parp Inhibitors hold what I think will be the 2nd line for us, should that come. There are clinical trials for BRCA mutation patients and I think there are some for non-BRCA 1 and 2, 1st line fail patients out there as well (my wife is BRCA-2).

    We won't give up if you don't :) Hang in there!

    Brac 2
    Hi, I am also brac 2. I was diagnosed
    Sept. 2002. I don't know where you can find the information, but if you are brac 1 or 2 you generally respond better to chemo. I hope this will be what will happen with your wife. Let us know what you find out about the parp Inhibitors. Thanks, Patty