A Prayer for the Dying

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  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member

    winter is my favorite
    because my birthday is in December :) also like the cold, the snow, the lights at Christmas. The list goes on.

    come to Alabama
    We have your snow :)
  • mswijiknyc
    mswijiknyc Member Posts: 421

    come to Alabama
    We have your snow :)

    yeah
    don't remind me ha ha. getting it tomorrow. icky.
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member

    yeah
    don't remind me ha ha. getting it tomorrow. icky.

    Used to love winter too
    We used to love winter too. We would spend every Thursday night on Ski Patrol as volunteers as well as every (and I mean every) Saturday and Sunday that Camelback was open. Mike was able to help teach the new candidates a couple of times in the Fall and actually helped in the Patrol room a few days before Christmas. Mike loves Ski Patrolling and is so good at it. Now he can barely get out of bed and his pain is so bad.

    Unfortunately for you April, it looks like the storm is going to hit you guys more North of us now. The first time I am happy we won't get much snow here.
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member

    yeah
    don't remind me ha ha. getting it tomorrow. icky.

    Hello Mswijiknyc
    You are

    Hello Mswijiknyc
    You are doing and have done a wonderful job for your husband. He could not have asked for better. Take advantage of hospice yourself, they will help you to understand what you are going through and what to expect. Listen to your husband, honor his wishes, give him your blessing. Tell him how much you love him. This will make it easier for him. The friends?....sometimes it is better for them to stay away, remember him as he was. He does not want them to see him this way. If he is like my dad was, he is so doped up on pain meds he does not know who he is or who anyone else is. This is how they have to deal with the pain. Using his walker is ok, thank God he has one to use! Hang in there. We are with you both in prayer.
    Tina in Va
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229

    Don't apologize for being a loving woman...
    About a month ago my love's Onc brought up Hospice. I had researched about it, as I knew that some day we would need and use their help. My love had been dx with extensive sclc in April 2010. He had a difficult time accepting the idea as he didn't know that they could make difficult times easier for both of us. He thought it was just about dying. For two weeks when they began to come for visits, he was doing ok. One week before he passed away, he began to feel pain, was not eating and generally not feeling well. This was about the 10th of Dec. Yes, it was a circus here at the beginning of hospice, appts. for enrollment, intros to his nurse, social worker and chaplain. I just wrote down their names and positions. Around the 17th, my love began to leave this world. We had decided a while back that it may be better for me that he pass at the hospice instead of at home. Through that weekend my precious daughter was here and was able to care for her daddy, meds, bathing, assisting in walking. We did shifts as my love began to transition and became quite restless at times. At any point that we had a question, worry or concern, hospice was a phone call away. In the middle of Sunday night his pain began to intensify and I just called them, they gave me morphine instructions and to go ahead and put him on the oxygen to help and make him more comfortable. When they first came out weeks before they had ordered and placed meds and oxygen equipment. No one believed that we would be needing these so soon. By early morning my love's nurse arrived. His pain was getting a bit stronger so she ordered the "big guns" pain meds which were delivered to our door in less than 30 minutes. I phoned family and friends and soon my close family began to arrive. The chaplain arrived. My daughter and I had not slept in over 48 hrs. With my love in no pain and resting, we were able to sleep for a few hrs., knowing that he was being taken excellent care of by his nurse, and being loved and prayed for by our family. Yes, at 8:30 pm on Monday the 20th he left this world. His final hours were pain free. Sadly, no more words from him, but the whole 2 days before he repeatedly said how much he loved and adored me. Loved our children and grandbaby. As he took his last breaths, our room was filled with love and a calm. Yes we all cried, yes our hearts were breaking. I am so glad that a greater power made the decision for my love to pass in his home, in our bed. The bed that we loved in, shared in, argued in and spent many beautiful hours of our lives in. Nothing could have been more natural. And now I feel so much comfort and love in my bed. It is a very special place for me now, and I have not felt uneasy or traumatized by it. Of course, this has been right for me, and may not be for anyone else.
    I want to share with you what happened to me the last 3 days of his life. I, too, was over-stressed, not being appreciated at times, missing the joy that was our life before the "Beast" entered. But on those last days something came over me. The adrenaline, energy, grace from God, call it what you like, took every negative thought and feeling away. I was being given the honor and gift to be the one to care and love this man that had cared and loved me for almost 30 yrs.! I was the one to administer meds to ease his pain. I bathed him. I gave him ice chips and put chap stick on his lips. All the time telling thank you for all the years of our lives together. Did I cry? Yes. But soon that "grace" I told you about would calm my tears and hurt. When he passed away, both my children and I were in the bed with him, with the rest of the family surrounding us. We played Keith Urban's "Making Memories Of Us", a song my love really felt touched his life. The passed 8 months of the struggle with the "Beast" were over. All the strife and conflict gone. Just peace and love floated in our room.
    Be kind and patient with yourself. As this song says "you've been stretched to the limit". Embrace Hospice, as with their assistance you may be able to give a little to yourself, so that when time comes you will be strong and be in a place of calm, where you will be able to be the loving woman that you have always been to him in his time of need.
    It's been 2 weeks now, and I miss my love terribly. And I get angry. And I'm still tired. I guess because now I have to be my own caregiver, and love and comfort myself. I am surrounded by love from family and friends, but it doesn't take away the deep loss I feel. But I am able to say that I loved him, I honored him and cared for him to the end of his journey, and somehow that gives me comfort.
    Sending you hugs and best wishes,
    Lucy

    I Lost My Sister on the 20th & My husband Jan 6th

    My sister was cared for at home by hospice but there was no way I would have been able to care for my husband at home so he went to the hospice center and I stayed there most days and nights until he passed.

    My heart goes out to you Lucy. I know the emptiness you feel and the physical and mental exhaustion from the wonderful job you did taking care of your husband. Although my exhaustion was only emotional I can only imagine what you are going through now.

    ((GIANT HUGS TO YOU))

    Skipper
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    April

    Just dropping in to send hugs and prayers. Want you to know that I'm always thinking about you guys. I hope your husband finds the peace he deserves.

    (((MEGA HUGS)))

    Skipper