Appointment Anxiety

Curlz
Curlz Member Posts: 42
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
I'm sure this is common, but would love to know if any of you have found ways to cope with it...I only seem to get anxious when going to see the oncologist. Okay, STOP LAUGHING! :-)

Seriously--none of the other docs have this effect on me, and the irony is that he's someone I have known for many years. I'm not uncomfortable with him; I just feel like he's the one Debbie (Donald?) Downer in all of my medical professionals. I adore him personally, but I can't say he's my favorite doctor in terms of personality. I've only seen him three times, and I have a follow-up appt with him this Thursday, as I finished radiation last week. Last night I had a vivid dream of being in his office, and although I can't remember anything that happened in the dream, just knowing I had it 5 days before I'm going gets me started.

Tips? Thoughts? I'm actually thinking of asking HIM what he recommends I do to be less anxious about seeing him. Fwiw, I didn't hesitate about making my annual GYN appt for next month...

Comments

  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #2
    let him know
    Let him know, I am sure this is not or will not be the first time he has heard of this. My husband gets that way when he see's the family doctor. And not the cancer doctors. So I would let him know maybe he can give you something to calm you down . Or if it does not work get another doctor. There is no need to have to have that fear , so it is telling you something is not right.
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    #3
    Listen to your gut
    Hi there. Nice pic on your profile, reminds me of that tree in Avatar. lol.

    Your oncologist epitimizes the diagnosis and all the treatments and negativities that go along with the life altering diagnosis and I think that is the key issue you have. However sounds like there is a bit of an issue in your repoire with this doctor and only you can decide whether it's a big enough deal to make it worth changing docs for or not.

    Personally if I can't relate to my doc and they don't give me some hope no matter what the current situation is at any given time, I look elsewhere. I think that a good repoire with your doc is key in everyway, trust is crucial and is where our peace lies - in knowing that we can trust our doc and tell them anything and be both validated in so doing and acknowledged. It's a tough go without those things.

    I don't know how many times I have gotten rid of docs along my 20 plus years of dealing with my cancer and it's aftereffects but I have never regretted a change. Listen to your gut and know that the security and comfort and peace you get from having a good meeting with a doc you relate better to is a healing thing all on it's own.

    Hoping the situation improves and I agree with the poster here who said 'tell him' and see where that goes. It might lead you to a better relationship with him or help you move on to someone more compatible and more healing.

    Blessings, Bluerose
  • karenbeth
    karenbeth Member Posts: 194
    #4
    bluerose said:

    Listen to your gut
    Hi there. Nice pic on your profile, reminds me of that tree in Avatar. lol.

    Your oncologist epitimizes the diagnosis and all the treatments and negativities that go along with the life altering diagnosis and I think that is the key issue you have. However sounds like there is a bit of an issue in your repoire with this doctor and only you can decide whether it's a big enough deal to make it worth changing docs for or not.

    Personally if I can't relate to my doc and they don't give me some hope no matter what the current situation is at any given time, I look elsewhere. I think that a good repoire with your doc is key in everyway, trust is crucial and is where our peace lies - in knowing that we can trust our doc and tell them anything and be both validated in so doing and acknowledged. It's a tough go without those things.

    I don't know how many times I have gotten rid of docs along my 20 plus years of dealing with my cancer and it's aftereffects but I have never regretted a change. Listen to your gut and know that the security and comfort and peace you get from having a good meeting with a doc you relate better to is a healing thing all on it's own.

    Hoping the situation improves and I agree with the poster here who said 'tell him' and see where that goes. It might lead you to a better relationship with him or help you move on to someone more compatible and more healing.

    Blessings, Bluerose

    true
    I agree, having a good rapport is essential--we just switched to a new oncologist--we had seen the first one 2 times, he was highly recommended, but my boyfriend just didn't like his personality, and I realized that there was no way he was going to be open to his recommendations because he couldn't feel a connection between them. The second doctor we visited made us both feel so much more comfortable-- and I now realize how important it is to trust your instincts (or in this case, his)!

    Karen

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