A little morning humor with your coffee

MarineE5
MarineE5 Member Posts: 1,030 Member
edited March 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1
This morning I was doing my usual routine of coming to this site and another one that I frequent, with my coffee and was basically checking in on some of the posts. My wife came into the kitchen and with a strange voice said "Hello" almost imitating a Parrot. She does this once in awhile because she knows the story behind it.

It reminded me of something that happened many years ago when I walked into a local Pet store, I was to pick up some pet food for our cats. On a perch was an African Grey Parrot and under it was a sign that said it could speak over 700 words. So as I passed by, I said " Hello " and the parrot did not reply. So, I said " Hello" again, and once again the parrot didn't reply. So I said " Stupid Bird " and walked away to get the pet food for our cats.

I then had to return to the front of the store and get in line to check out. I was close to the Parrot but not exactly next to it, but was the last in line. I heard, "Hello " and I dismissed it, thinking the parrot might be talking to someone near it. Again, I heard, " Hello" and again I ignored it. Then I heard " Hey Stupid, I said Hello " and I knew that darn parrot was talking to me as I had called it stupid earlier, loud enough that other people in the store could hear me. Well, I sure felt stupid and turned several shades of red as the other customers had a good laugh at my expense, out talked by a Parrot.

Now, I am very, very careful about who I call Stupid : )

My Best to Everyone Here

Comments

  • Glenna M
    Glenna M Member Posts: 1,576
    #2
    Love it....
    Love the story, you started my day with a smile ;-)

    Thanks for sharing,
    Glenna
  • lady4darknight
    lady4darknight Member Posts: 90 Member
    #3
    Made my laugh
    Marine,
    Thank you for making my day start with a laugh.

    Debbie
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #4
    Marine
    Thanks for the yucks. I'll think of you next time I hit the pet supply store, I'm sure.
  • Greg53
    Greg53 Member Posts: 849
    #5
    Pam M said:

    Marine
    Thanks for the yucks. I'll think of you next time I hit the pet supply store, I'm sure.

    Dumb Joke
    Hope this doesn't offend anyone.

    Subject: Your Duck is Dead
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry,your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, his is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill
    would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
  • lady4darknight
    lady4darknight Member Posts: 90 Member
    #6
    Greg53 said:

    Dumb Joke
    Hope this doesn't offend anyone.

    Subject: Your Duck is Dead
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry,your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, his is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill
    would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

    LOL
    all I can say is ....LOL..thanks for the humor.

    Debbie
  • pattyanny
    pattyanny Member Posts: 544
    #7
    lady4darknight said:

    LOL
    all I can say is ....LOL..thanks for the humor.

    Debbie

    Well those morning laughs
    Well those morning laughs made my day! Thanks all!
    Patty
  • D Lewis
    D Lewis Member Posts: 1,581 Member
    #8
    Greg53 said:

    Dumb Joke
    Hope this doesn't offend anyone.

    Subject: Your Duck is Dead
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry,your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, his is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill
    would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

    Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!
    Those are my kind of scans. Thanks for the humor.

    Deb
  • Kimba1505
    Kimba1505 Member Posts: 557
    #9
    D Lewis said:

    Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!
    Those are my kind of scans. Thanks for the humor.

    Deb

    Change of pace.
    Nice light reading for a Cancer Message Board. Thank you Greg and Marine...very timely in that after finishing treatment it is good to feel some relief...even comic relief (Fiction and Non-fiction).
    Kim
  • Glenna M
    Glenna M Member Posts: 1,576
    #10
    Greg53 said:

    Dumb Joke
    Hope this doesn't offend anyone.

    Subject: Your Duck is Dead
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry,your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, his is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill
    would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

    Thanks Greg
    WOW - Two good ones in one day!! Loved them both ;-)
  • stevenl
    stevenl Member Posts: 587
    #11
    Kimba1505 said:

    Change of pace.
    Nice light reading for a Cancer Message Board. Thank you Greg and Marine...very timely in that after finishing treatment it is good to feel some relief...even comic relief (Fiction and Non-fiction).
    Kim

    Good Stuff
    Good Stuff guys, goooood stuff.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #12
    Thanks
    Laughter is the best kind of healing medicine
  • SASH
    SASH Member Posts: 421 Member
    #13
    One from my Rad Onc
    A husband and wife had been married for 50 years and one morning the husband says to the wife, "I think we should come to breakfast in the nude tomorrow just like when we were newlyweds." The wife agreed and the next morning they both were sitting at the breakfast table in the nude.

    She says to her husband, "Wow, we should have done this years ago, my nipples are all hot for you."

    He responded, "that is because your left one is in your coffee and your right one is in your oatmeal"
  • D Lewis
    D Lewis Member Posts: 1,581 Member
    #14
    SASH said:

    One from my Rad Onc
    A husband and wife had been married for 50 years and one morning the husband says to the wife, "I think we should come to breakfast in the nude tomorrow just like when we were newlyweds." The wife agreed and the next morning they both were sitting at the breakfast table in the nude.

    She says to her husband, "Wow, we should have done this years ago, my nipples are all hot for you."

    He responded, "that is because your left one is in your coffee and your right one is in your oatmeal"

    Two thumbs down on this one, Sash
    Eeeeeeeek.

    Deb
  • Kimba1505
    Kimba1505 Member Posts: 557
    #15
    D Lewis said:

    Two thumbs down on this one, Sash
    Eeeeeeeek.

    Deb

    To make you feel better Deb:
    Thought for the day:

    WE women are Angels, and when someone breaks our
    wings....We simply continue to fly...on a broomstick...We're
    flexible like that ..... :)

    Kim
  • Jimbo55
    Jimbo55 Member Posts: 590 Member
    #16
    Join the club, Marine!
    When I was in high school, I stopped by a friend's house on a cold winter day. I rang the back doorbell and immediately heard 'Who is it?' It's Jim, is Frank home? Nothing. So I rang the bell once more. Same thing, 'Who is it?' Again, It's Jim, is Frank here? This went on 3-4 times before I realized nobody was home and it was their cockatoo talking to me. Cheers.

    Jimbo

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