Young *Single* Cancer Survivors

unknown said:

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Young cancer survivor
No longer single. My boyfriend is someone I knew and dated a little a long time ago and when we had our first real date (this decade, LOL) a few months ago, it was the day of my first follow up scan. So when we went out later that night I gave him a brief overview of what I'd been through the previous year and he was very calm and didn't seem too freaked out. We talked alot about other stuff, mostly what we'd been up to the last 10 years or so. Then a couple hours into our date, he asked if I had any more braclets (I wear a light blue thyca bracelet) because he'd like to wear one. I knew right then that he was going to accept me for who I was and that my cancer was not going to be an issue. A few days later, I got my results and my scan was clean! And we're still together and very happy. He even made some new friends who asked him about his braclet and it turned out one of them was also a thyroid cancer survivor! So it might be hard finding someone who's willing to accept us, scars and all, but when we do, they're worth waiting for.

chrismn said:

Michael, you're not alone man. I wonder in what ways people think of me differently now. Some people I've met this past year don't even know I have cancer, they haven't had the guts to ask why I have 3 long scars on my cheek and neck, I have no problem telling them if they ask, but I don't go around making sure everyone knows. I'm getting off the topic. I'd like to hear what other people think about young cancer survivors, we obviously carry a little more baggage than most people would like to deal with, in my opinion at least. I'd really love to hear what you all have to say on this, thanks.

Young Cancer Survivors
Hi All,
I was diagnosed with Melanoma stage 3A over 2 years ago, had lymph nodes removed under my left arm and a few in my neck. Doing fair so far. Anyhow, I am 36 yrs old and have a girl friend who has being going through all this with me and she is the best kind about it and is very strong. She loves me just like before and is great support. She is tough and strong lost both her Grandfathers to cancer rather young and she is really supportive. She dont mind my hugh scars from the surgeries and I also have several scars from Crohns Disease surgery and also Appendix surgery and gall bladder. I take pills all my life and prednisone has made my bones weaker and my joints too. Yet she loves me, she just loves me I guess. Point is you will find someone who can, who wants, and who will love you. These are special women / people who are sort of angels in our life. Sent by God to help us through. God will help us through something even if not all are cured. Still we are all just as precious to God and to the ones we love. God bless everyone on here and I wish you all the best, never stop hoping, believing, be positive as best you can and keep doing something is important, whether it's an hobby you love or collecting or watching favorite movies and so on, the therapy it provides by taking your mind off cancer will be priceless. I like to draw and paint as well as do sculpture work, very theraputic. You gotta try it...get some Super Sculpey $10 or so and its very safe to use your hands on it etc very safe,...you can make sculpture with it and then bake in a regular oven to harden!
Great stress reliever, especially if u r feeling too sick to get out about so much. Anyhow would love to hear from anyone who just like to chat.
later,
Derrick.

CynicSan said:

Oddly, the cancer stories
Oddly, the cancer stories seems to let me pick up girls. Course it becomes a factor in the breakup. Sucks for love--wonderful for flings.

I've found it very hard to find a guy since I've been diagnosed and now a cancer survivor. It seems I mention it and they go running. I've had two relationships since I was diagnosed, one lasted 3 years until things turned bad. And the second barely 3 months because he was so uncomfortable and that one just ended like a month ago. Maybe somebody can give me some insight on what I'm doing wrong? lol

Vulgarism said:

It's never once bothered me
It's never once bothered me that I'm single. I'm not that big into dating, and havent dated since long before I was diagnosed, which was four or five some odd years ago already. Having someone romantically involved with me..just isn't that important. If I find someone, fine, if not, fine too.

I'm not single right now but
I'm not single right now but my BF lives in Phoenix and I live in Philly. I live alone and although we were set to get married, he has backed off on this (just prior to dx). I certainly wish I had that unconditional love at hand. I'm doing my next 5 ACs alone...I have good friends here but i'm too private to want to have people see me in that state.

At the same time I think of some of my exes and am much happier knowing they are NOT in my life while I'm going through this. Not all relationship are good ones. Either way, cancer blows and feeling alone is never good. Glad for the boards as truly we are NEVEr alone here.

xo

How about young got dumped
How about young got dumped in the middle of having cancer because of the symptoms of a condition directly related to your cancer survivors?

But I'm not bitter.

Wait, yes I am.

Chemo_Princess said:

Dumped
That is just wrong! But it's better to find out exactly how people are early on. I do not hide the fact that I have cancer. I would love to meet my prince charming and live happily ever after, but now I doubt that will happen. I'll just have to see if it's in Gods plan for me...
Blessings to all of you!

I wish he'd done it sooner
I wish he'd done it sooner or else waited until I was going to be leaving anyway - his timing couldn't have been worse.

hopingforlife said:

he left me
Mine was an over all jerk about me having cancer and so when i told him he decided I would be too difficult to be his girlfriend and left

Yeah, some guys can be um,
Yeah, some guys can be um, hm, now that I think of it I'm not sure what profanity is allowed and disallowed on these boards.

To say it accurately, they are *fluff*ing *Richard*bags with their heads so far up their *Rear-end*s that they can basically see the next meal as it begins to digest.

Saltylibrarian said:

I'm not single right now but
I'm not single right now but my BF lives in Phoenix and I live in Philly. I live alone and although we were set to get married, he has backed off on this (just prior to dx). I certainly wish I had that unconditional love at hand. I'm doing my next 5 ACs alone...I have good friends here but i'm too private to want to have people see me in that state.

At the same time I think of some of my exes and am much happier knowing they are NOT in my life while I'm going through this. Not all relationship are good ones. Either way, cancer blows and feeling alone is never good. Glad for the boards as truly we are NEVEr alone here.

xo

Hi Salty
I just joined this board today (4/18/10), and I saw your post. It's from 2 months ago, so maybe your situation has changed, but I wanted to reach out in case it hasn't. Like you, I'm a 30-something living alone in Philadelphia. I have leukemia and I go through my treatments alone because I have found that, when I bring someone with me, I end up taking care of them and making sure they're not freaking out too much. It actually makes it harder for me.

I wanted to offer to take you to your appointments if you would like the company (or just someone to drive so you don't have to.) I know it sucks to have to see people when you are feeling and looking your worst, but maybe it would be bearable if it was just some other cancery girl from the internet.

This is a real offer. But I understand if you want to pass.

Regardless, I'm sending good vibes your way.

KH

I Agree
Great stories guys, I agree with everyone here and wish you all the very best. Regarding the "Singles" thing sign me up!