caregivers chat room

24

Comments

  • JON-1
    JON-1 Member Posts: 2
    #22
    itismepsa said:

    weekly chat room opening
    On Tuesday's at 6 p.m. CST we will use chatroom 2 for any caregivers interested. Anyone interested please join us. If anyone would have a better time let us know.
    Paula

    chat room opening
    Just to let you know I'll try to get there. I, took care of my 1/2 sister with lung cancer for a yer now 'm care giver for her husband who has brain cancer. It's a different situation all together. My sister could and would tell me in know uncertain terms what was going on with her. My brother-in-law answers"I don't know" or " I'm fine". It makes it very frustrating. Also I'm just learning the computer and about this program Thanks
  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788 Member
    #23
    jonib said:

    Caregiver
    My husband has Stage IV Male Breast Cancer. He has been fighting this for 4 1/2 years. He decided last month he was done with treatment. We have brought Hospice in for the past month on a weekly basis, until we need them more. I am still working full time. My heart is breaking as I watch this disease literaly eat away at him. He is down to 142 pounds, skin and bones. I know that things are going to get worse. The doctor told us last month that he would not see Christmas 09. I know that we have some really rough times ahead of us. I think the Hospice program will be wonderful for us. I guess my question is when do you know when you need to stop working to be with them 24/7. jonib

    new post
    joni b, you raise an interesting question, but it may be lost within this particular discussion.

    You may want to submit it as a new post in this same board (Caregivers). I have a feeling you will receive a number of helpful responses from those who have also been in the very place you now occupy.

    Beyond that, I salute you for your provision of care to your husband. I have maintained from the first day of my first diagnosis that being a caregiver is much more difficult than whatever I have endured or will endure, and my wife has certainly borne that out, time and again.

    Best wishes to you and hub. I hope that you receive some useful answers.

    Take care,

    Joe
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #24
    jonib said:

    Caregiver
    My husband has Stage IV Male Breast Cancer. He has been fighting this for 4 1/2 years. He decided last month he was done with treatment. We have brought Hospice in for the past month on a weekly basis, until we need them more. I am still working full time. My heart is breaking as I watch this disease literaly eat away at him. He is down to 142 pounds, skin and bones. I know that things are going to get worse. The doctor told us last month that he would not see Christmas 09. I know that we have some really rough times ahead of us. I think the Hospice program will be wonderful for us. I guess my question is when do you know when you need to stop working to be with them 24/7. jonib

    ask hospice
    My husband is also dying, colon cancer, I also work full time, my in laws are there and hospice comes 3x a week . My hospcie nurse said that he will not get up anymore and sleep alot and then he will pass away. He also is just skin and bones now And the most heartwrenching is when he vomits eveything he puts into himself. he is aware of everything and he crys alot he is tired of it all, I feel so helpless to help him.I tell him i love him and i am sorry. I will be looking for signs and i will no its time to stay home

    good luck prayers go out to you

    michelle
  • MR_SAD
    MR_SAD Member Posts: 91
    #25
    angelsbaby said:

    ask hospice
    My husband is also dying, colon cancer, I also work full time, my in laws are there and hospice comes 3x a week . My hospcie nurse said that he will not get up anymore and sleep alot and then he will pass away. He also is just skin and bones now And the most heartwrenching is when he vomits eveything he puts into himself. he is aware of everything and he crys alot he is tired of it all, I feel so helpless to help him.I tell him i love him and i am sorry. I will be looking for signs and i will no its time to stay home

    good luck prayers go out to you

    michelle

    Michelle I feel your Pain
    I know how tough your days are becoming. He will eat less and less. Don't try and make him eat. Cathy stoped eating all together about 4 days before she passed. She was also just so tiried of it all. It was difficult for her to keep anything in. This is a good Web site for end of Life Answers for Care Givers http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Resourcessupport/Ifsomeoneelsehascancer/Caringforsomeone
    once you get there click on the left and the sheets on what to expect will come up. I just felt that I wanted to know for my self what lies ahead. This is a site in England. Take care of your self. It is just as hard on the ones that are left behind that have loved so deeply. Just take one day at a time, don't thimk ahead to far. Only time will ease the loss you are going thru. It has been 8 weeks for me. I still have some pretty rough days. Just knowing what you are going thru makes me feel so helpless. Know We are here for you.
    Your Friend
    Floyd
  • SonSon
    SonSon Member Posts: 174
    #26
    I would love it - but how do
    I would love it - but how do I get to the chat room(s)???
    Fatima
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #27
    SonSon said:

    I would love it - but how do
    I would love it - but how do I get to the chat room(s)???
    Fatima

    Same Question
    I haven't been able to get in either. What's the secret? Fay
  • charbannon
    charbannon Member Posts: 8
    #28
    SonSon said:

    I would love it - but how do
    I would love it - but how do I get to the chat room(s)???
    Fatima

    caregiver to my spouse
    i myself is new to the chat rooms, so i'm not trying to be smart, but who am i chatting with sonson or fatima. also marybear are you still with the chat room ?
  • charbannon
    charbannon Member Posts: 8
    #29
    itismepsa said:

    new blog address
    msn offers a free blog site. if anyone is interested my new blog site is http://itismepsa.spaces.live.com/blog/?&_c02_vws=1. if anyone wants we can chat.
    Paula

    are you still on this network?
    this is a year to the day, how ironic. yes, i have been wanting to chat for quite awhile, which is a few months now, but when is i seen the date , i just let it go, then i thought what is it going to hurt to try .
  • charbannon
    charbannon Member Posts: 8
    #30
    itismepsa said:

    new blog address
    msn offers a free blog site. if anyone is interested my new blog site is http://itismepsa.spaces.live.com/blog/?&_c02_vws=1. if anyone wants we can chat.
    Paula

    paula
    paula are you still on the network,iam a caregiver for my husband ,he has esophageal cancer for 2 yrs now stage 4, they stopped any treatment because he is only 103 lbs. definetly not . strong enough for chemo. we do have hospice coming in , with the hope he can build himself up and then when he is strong enough ,he wants to continue treatment, he's determined to fight this ugly disease well, paula this is my update on my husband. and the date is 12/28/09 if your still with the network, please reply, me email is charbannon@gmail.com
  • charbannon
    charbannon Member Posts: 8
    #31
    itismepsa said:

    new blog address
    msn offers a free blog site. if anyone is interested my new blog site is http://itismepsa.spaces.live.com/blog/?&_c02_vws=1. if anyone wants we can chat.
    Paula

    paula
    paula are you still on the network,iam a caregiver for my husband ,he has esophageal cancer for 2 yrs now stage 4, they stopped any treatment because he is only 103 lbs. definetly not . strong enough for chemo. we do have hospice coming in , with the hope he can build himself up and then when he is strong enough ,he wants to continue treatment, he's determined to fight this ugly disease well, paula this is my update on my husband. and the date is 12/28/09 if your still with the network, please reply, me email is charbannon@gmail.com
  • charbannon
    charbannon Member Posts: 8
    #32
    charbannon said:

    paula
    paula are you still on the network,iam a caregiver for my husband ,he has esophageal cancer for 2 yrs now stage 4, they stopped any treatment because he is only 103 lbs. definetly not . strong enough for chemo. we do have hospice coming in , with the hope he can build himself up and then when he is strong enough ,he wants to continue treatment, he's determined to fight this ugly disease well, paula this is my update on my husband. and the date is 12/28/09 if your still with the network, please reply, me email is charbannon@gmail.com

    caregiver
    marybear, i'm sure if your still with the network, you would be able to read what i sent to paula, well everything i said to paula i also meant for you. please reply, if your still with the net. thanks char
  • charbannon
    charbannon Member Posts: 8
    #33
    charbannon said:

    caregiver to my spouse
    i myself is new to the chat rooms, so i'm not trying to be smart, but who am i chatting with sonson or fatima. also marybear are you still with the chat room ?

    new chat line
    lets start a new chat line for caregivers for 2010.anybody interested please sign in ty charbannon
  • appleyellowgreen
    appleyellowgreen Member Posts: 38 Member
    #34
    charbannon said:

    new chat line
    lets start a new chat line for caregivers for 2010.anybody interested please sign in ty charbannon

    2010 chatline
    Hi. I'm interested.
    I'm a caregiver. My husband has lung cancer. Three operations over 4 years. Having a sleep study tonight re: apnea. Having a CT scan and an MRI next week and the 12th starts chemo.
    Before his lung cancer resurfaced a few months ago, his mother had been living with us (90 years old) with lymphoma. She was treated for 12 sessions and 20 months altogether. She's doing great and finally moved home and left us alone just in time for Steve's cancer to keep us hopping.
    Yeah...real interested.
  • ruthelizabeth
    ruthelizabeth Member Posts: 138
    #35
    appleyellowgreen said:

    2010 chatline
    Hi. I'm interested.
    I'm a caregiver. My husband has lung cancer. Three operations over 4 years. Having a sleep study tonight re: apnea. Having a CT scan and an MRI next week and the 12th starts chemo.
    Before his lung cancer resurfaced a few months ago, his mother had been living with us (90 years old) with lymphoma. She was treated for 12 sessions and 20 months altogether. She's doing great and finally moved home and left us alone just in time for Steve's cancer to keep us hopping.
    Yeah...real interested.

    I'd be interested, too
    Please keep us posted on a chat room and how to get in.
  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788 Member
    #36
    charbannon said:

    new chat line
    lets start a new chat line for caregivers for 2010.anybody interested please sign in ty charbannon

    caregiver chat
    It seems there is interest there (still), charbannon, so I, for one, encourage you to go forward with it.

    I suggest that you post an email to the webmaster of this site advising that you want to be involved with (host?) a caregiver session in the chatroom, along with the date and time proposed. I suggest this because you can also ask that they post to the main page an announcement, a running announcement, perhaps, about when the caregivers meeting is.

    This will help you to draw more folks seeking the excellent sort of group therapy/group discussion that you can get from such an immediate forum.

    As far as I know, what I suggest is NOT a requirement to go into chat and go to one of the rooms to chat about a topic, but with that layer of authority and the hoped-for announcement, your cause will be 'legitimized' to an extent and certainly publicized.

    Just a thought.

    I wish you the best with this needed endeavor.

    In the meantime, as others have noted, some folks, particularly, it seems, folks who are still using dialup connections, have problems getting into the chat area. For some, the real problem is merely that they have not downloaded the latest version of java's runtime environment. I believe I provide a link to what is probably the best site for downloading the JRE elsewhere in this stream, but if you need it again, let me know (CSN should, frankly, include a notice about this on the main page, too!).

    Take care,

    Joe
  • A1pena
    A1pena Member Posts: 92
    #37
    soccerfreaks said:

    caregiver chat
    It seems there is interest there (still), charbannon, so I, for one, encourage you to go forward with it.

    I suggest that you post an email to the webmaster of this site advising that you want to be involved with (host?) a caregiver session in the chatroom, along with the date and time proposed. I suggest this because you can also ask that they post to the main page an announcement, a running announcement, perhaps, about when the caregivers meeting is.

    This will help you to draw more folks seeking the excellent sort of group therapy/group discussion that you can get from such an immediate forum.

    As far as I know, what I suggest is NOT a requirement to go into chat and go to one of the rooms to chat about a topic, but with that layer of authority and the hoped-for announcement, your cause will be 'legitimized' to an extent and certainly publicized.

    Just a thought.

    I wish you the best with this needed endeavor.

    In the meantime, as others have noted, some folks, particularly, it seems, folks who are still using dialup connections, have problems getting into the chat area. For some, the real problem is merely that they have not downloaded the latest version of java's runtime environment. I believe I provide a link to what is probably the best site for downloading the JRE elsewhere in this stream, but if you need it again, let me know (CSN should, frankly, include a notice about this on the main page, too!).

    Take care,

    Joe

    My mother was just diagnosed yesterday with serous carcinoma- not sure if its uterine or ovarian. They will be running some tests on Monday with pre op on Wed and then surgery the following Monday. They are planning to do a hysterectomy and most likely chemo. I am terrified. I cant seem to stop crying at the idea of losing my mother. She is the most amazing woman and I cant imagine my life without her. Makes me even more sad to think she might not be around for my wedding or get to know her future grandchildren. Its too early to tell just how serious her cancer is or how much it has spread but just knowing that this thing is eating at her is killing me. She is only 58 and has so much life in her. All i keep doing is researching and researching thinking that somewhere I'll find an article that says its it totally curable, you have nothing to worry about. I think what upsets me the most is that my mom had symptoms back in May but didnt see a doctor until November who didnt refer her to an oncologist until January!! I cant seem to find anything pertaining to how fast cancer spreads since all cancers/patients are different. Has anyone lost a family member or friend to Ovarian/uterine cancer or know someone currently living with it? I think the biggest fear is i have is of the unknown... any advice or support would be great especially on Monday, 2/1/2010 when my mom goes in for her surgery.

    Kind Regards,

    Amanda
  • slickwilly
    slickwilly Member Posts: 334 Member
    #38
    A1pena said:

    My mother was just diagnosed yesterday with serous carcinoma- not sure if its uterine or ovarian. They will be running some tests on Monday with pre op on Wed and then surgery the following Monday. They are planning to do a hysterectomy and most likely chemo. I am terrified. I cant seem to stop crying at the idea of losing my mother. She is the most amazing woman and I cant imagine my life without her. Makes me even more sad to think she might not be around for my wedding or get to know her future grandchildren. Its too early to tell just how serious her cancer is or how much it has spread but just knowing that this thing is eating at her is killing me. She is only 58 and has so much life in her. All i keep doing is researching and researching thinking that somewhere I'll find an article that says its it totally curable, you have nothing to worry about. I think what upsets me the most is that my mom had symptoms back in May but didnt see a doctor until November who didnt refer her to an oncologist until January!! I cant seem to find anything pertaining to how fast cancer spreads since all cancers/patients are different. Has anyone lost a family member or friend to Ovarian/uterine cancer or know someone currently living with it? I think the biggest fear is i have is of the unknown... any advice or support would be great especially on Monday, 2/1/2010 when my mom goes in for her surgery.

    Kind Regards,

    Amanda

    Hi Amanda
    Hi Amanda. I am sorry about your mother. I wanted to respond so your letter was not lost in this discussion board subject. Its perfectly fine to start your own subject here in the emotional support or caregiver group. Anyway, your feeling the panic many of us face when we are told we have cancer. Or a spouse, relative or friend has it. As a cancer survivor I can say the unknowns never stop. I am 7 years out of cancer and I still have questions. Its very hard not to jump to the worst conclusions when cancer is involved. There are so many factors involved with each type of cancer and patient. Your mothers physical fitness will play a big part. The will to keep going through the treatments. The ability to maintain a proper diet. The love and support she is surrounded by. We all wait for answers that don't come fast enough. After your mothers surgery I am sure you will have some answers. How far things have progressed and the stage, type ect. The next question should be "what can I do for my mother". Right now your mother needs a hug and a "I love you" from the daughter that knows she is going to beat this. I know its hard, but take one step at a time. I would almost bet that your mother had a feeling about what was going on before the doctor diagnosed cancer. A last note. Because of your name here I wondered if you were in Alpena Mi. If so I am 90 miles from you. Blessings Slickwilly
  • A1pena
    A1pena Member Posts: 92
    #39
    slickwilly said:

    Hi Amanda
    Hi Amanda. I am sorry about your mother. I wanted to respond so your letter was not lost in this discussion board subject. Its perfectly fine to start your own subject here in the emotional support or caregiver group. Anyway, your feeling the panic many of us face when we are told we have cancer. Or a spouse, relative or friend has it. As a cancer survivor I can say the unknowns never stop. I am 7 years out of cancer and I still have questions. Its very hard not to jump to the worst conclusions when cancer is involved. There are so many factors involved with each type of cancer and patient. Your mothers physical fitness will play a big part. The will to keep going through the treatments. The ability to maintain a proper diet. The love and support she is surrounded by. We all wait for answers that don't come fast enough. After your mothers surgery I am sure you will have some answers. How far things have progressed and the stage, type ect. The next question should be "what can I do for my mother". Right now your mother needs a hug and a "I love you" from the daughter that knows she is going to beat this. I know its hard, but take one step at a time. I would almost bet that your mother had a feeling about what was going on before the doctor diagnosed cancer. A last note. Because of your name here I wondered if you were in Alpena Mi. If so I am 90 miles from you. Blessings Slickwilly

    Thank you!
    Hi Slickwilly,

    Thank you for your kind words. Makes me feel better to hear stories from cancer survivors. What kind of cancer did you have? Since I am new to this site I am trying to figure out how it all works...

    I am actually in San Francisco- my user name is in reference to my first and last name :)

    Thanks again,

    Amanda
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #40
    A1pena said:

    Thank you!
    Hi Slickwilly,

    Thank you for your kind words. Makes me feel better to hear stories from cancer survivors. What kind of cancer did you have? Since I am new to this site I am trying to figure out how it all works...

    I am actually in San Francisco- my user name is in reference to my first and last name :)

    Thanks again,

    Amanda

    it will be okay
    I've been caring for my mother for a year. She was diagnosed with rather advanced OVCA, underwent surgery and chemo at age 78. When you need answers to specific questions, don't hesitate to leave them with the fine women (and men) in the ovarian forum.

    Your mother will probably be around for some time to come, but the next few months will be rough. And, although it is good and right for your mother to think in terms of a long remission, you are right in that this cancer is very seldom cured. The good news is that ovarian cancer is s very slow. If the surgeon is able to achieve "optimum debulking" -- removing all visible cancer -- then she has a promising prognosis indeed. That's why with this particular cancer, it's important that the surgery be done by a specialist in ovarian/peritoneal.

    There is much to learn, and everyone is different. No matter what, you will be okay. Nothing can take away your mother. You can never lose her, even if she's no longer here on earth.
  • A1pena
    A1pena Member Posts: 92
    #41
    Barbara53 said:

    it will be okay
    I've been caring for my mother for a year. She was diagnosed with rather advanced OVCA, underwent surgery and chemo at age 78. When you need answers to specific questions, don't hesitate to leave them with the fine women (and men) in the ovarian forum.

    Your mother will probably be around for some time to come, but the next few months will be rough. And, although it is good and right for your mother to think in terms of a long remission, you are right in that this cancer is very seldom cured. The good news is that ovarian cancer is s very slow. If the surgeon is able to achieve "optimum debulking" -- removing all visible cancer -- then she has a promising prognosis indeed. That's why with this particular cancer, it's important that the surgery be done by a specialist in ovarian/peritoneal.

    There is much to learn, and everyone is different. No matter what, you will be okay. Nothing can take away your mother. You can never lose her, even if she's no longer here on earth.

    Thank you Barbara
    Thank you for your reply. I do find some hope in the surgeon that will be performing the surgery. She seems very capable and is pushing to use the da vinci robot. I guess right now, all I can do is be there for her and play the waiting game with her. Your last few sentances really touched me- i hadnt really thought of it that way.

    Kind Regards,

    Amanda

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