Arrangements

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  • Susiebelle
    Susiebelle Member Posts: 15
    pipwe1 said:

    Sassy
    My thoughts and prayers are with you Sassy.....No you are not wrong that you feel relieved that he passed.. I think we all feel some relief that they are no longer in pain... Be kind to yourself and remember that you gave him the best gift that anyone can give.. Your love and support in his final hours

    Wendy xxx

    Not wrong
    Sassy,

    I have been following your story. You have my deepest sympathy. Feeling relief I think is quite normal. It is all mixed in with other things, but it's not a bad thing. It is what love is. Relief that our loved one is finally free from pain. I can tell you what someone who is a counselor once told me: there is nothing more true in the world than your feelings. They are what they are with no rhyme or reason. The best thing you can do is feel them, honor them, and then accept them.

    You remain in my prayers,

    Susiebelle
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    sassy1 said:

    Heartbroken
    My husband passed on this morning at 1:30am. I had changed and cleaned him up earlier in the evening and he did not respond in pain as he had before. He also stopped breathing at one point and then started again. His breathing was very labored after that and I just sat and held his hand and talked to him and he finally let go. I don't know if it's shock or what but I feel relieved that he has passed. Tell me if that's wrong but I just feel that he is out of pain now and free. I know he is here with me and always will be and the hardest part is yet to come. Now I have so much to do and think about that I don't know where to begin. I'm actually a little tired and am going to try to nap now. He will be in my heart always and forever.

    Not Wrong
    First let me tell you how sorry I am. Feeling relief may seem wrong. It did to me, but I think it is a universal feeling when a loved one has been sick and in pain. It doesn't change how lost we feel or how lonely. It doesn't mean we love them any less. In fact, I think it shows how much we do love them. The relief is for them. I agree that he is still with you. I feel my husband close to me all the time. Most of all, he helps me laugh at myself. When there was a problem I was stressing over, he used to tell me regularly to, "Let it go." As the official family worrier I used to stress at a lot of little things as well as big things. Now when I start to stress over the little stuff, I think: Yes, dear, I know let it go. I know he's nudging me. Now you will have to take care of all the little things as well as the big things. The next few days will be very busy. My prayers and thought will be with you. Come to this board when you need to. I know it helped me. Fay
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    sassy1 said:

    Heartbroken
    My husband passed on this morning at 1:30am. I had changed and cleaned him up earlier in the evening and he did not respond in pain as he had before. He also stopped breathing at one point and then started again. His breathing was very labored after that and I just sat and held his hand and talked to him and he finally let go. I don't know if it's shock or what but I feel relieved that he has passed. Tell me if that's wrong but I just feel that he is out of pain now and free. I know he is here with me and always will be and the hardest part is yet to come. Now I have so much to do and think about that I don't know where to begin. I'm actually a little tired and am going to try to nap now. He will be in my heart always and forever.

    A big cyber hug from me Sassy
    Sigh, Sassy I was so sorry to hear of your husbands passing this morning but I totally know where you are coming from in that relief you felt. Loving someone means many things but one of the key ones is never wanting them to suffer pain or hurt in anyway so thankfully he out of all of that now. That is a great relief for both you and he. I am glad you were with him as you had feared being out of the room when it happened, so you were there in his transition which will be a great comfort to you I am sure. It is so hard to watch someone we love in pain and clearly you knew he wasn't going to recover so having his pain finally over must have been a great relief indeed. We all totally understand that feeling and agree it's a normal response, for sure.

    He will always be with you, that's how I feel about the passing of a loved one. The preparations for the funeral will keep you busy but the shock factor will protect you from it all I am sure, you are no doubt in some shock but I think there is a purpose for it - to help people through the rough time to come with all the preparations.

    I am so glad you found the strength to let us know. Come back often to talk about what is happening with it all, we are always here for you.

    A prayer for you both, him in his new world and you here but linked forever more in love.

    Hugs Sassy, Bluerose
  • onlyhuman
    onlyhuman Member Posts: 99
    sassy1 said:

    Heartbroken
    My husband passed on this morning at 1:30am. I had changed and cleaned him up earlier in the evening and he did not respond in pain as he had before. He also stopped breathing at one point and then started again. His breathing was very labored after that and I just sat and held his hand and talked to him and he finally let go. I don't know if it's shock or what but I feel relieved that he has passed. Tell me if that's wrong but I just feel that he is out of pain now and free. I know he is here with me and always will be and the hardest part is yet to come. Now I have so much to do and think about that I don't know where to begin. I'm actually a little tired and am going to try to nap now. He will be in my heart always and forever.

    sorry
    Shirley
    I am so sorry for your loss. I completely understand about the relief you feel. Because my husband's deterioration has been so rapid I keep getting asked if I have exhausted all treatment options. Noone else in his family seem to see the pain he is going through just to hang on. I feel helpless not being to share the pain with him. It takes a lot of love to let them go and to accept that what is best for them is more important than what is best for us.
    ((Hugs))
    Sangeeta
  • sassy1
    sassy1 Member Posts: 54
    onlyhuman said:

    sorry
    Shirley
    I am so sorry for your loss. I completely understand about the relief you feel. Because my husband's deterioration has been so rapid I keep getting asked if I have exhausted all treatment options. Noone else in his family seem to see the pain he is going through just to hang on. I feel helpless not being to share the pain with him. It takes a lot of love to let them go and to accept that what is best for them is more important than what is best for us.
    ((Hugs))
    Sangeeta

    Final Arrangements
    I completed the final arrangements for Glenn's funeral today. The viewing is Friday night for 2 hours and the fire company will be holding a service in his honor. The funeral is 10am Saturday and his casket and flowers will be transported by a fire truck to the cemetary where the services will be held. When I arrived to make arrangements this morning, I found that the fire company had already contacted them and advised that the bills would be taken care of. I know he must be smiling from ear to ear because he was so proud to be involved in the fire company. He spent 53 years of his life as a volunteer fireman and also 20 years as a fire commissioner. He was an ex firechief and there is nothing that he wouldn't do to help the fire company out. I am just happy to see that they are doing this for him. They called me this evening to advise that it would be an honor to transport him and it brought me to tears. They said that they are there for me for whatever help I may need. I guess this is when you find out what the brotherhood is all about.

    Thank you all for the support that you are giving me. It has and is giving me the strength that I need to get through.
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    sassy1 said:

    Final Arrangements
    I completed the final arrangements for Glenn's funeral today. The viewing is Friday night for 2 hours and the fire company will be holding a service in his honor. The funeral is 10am Saturday and his casket and flowers will be transported by a fire truck to the cemetary where the services will be held. When I arrived to make arrangements this morning, I found that the fire company had already contacted them and advised that the bills would be taken care of. I know he must be smiling from ear to ear because he was so proud to be involved in the fire company. He spent 53 years of his life as a volunteer fireman and also 20 years as a fire commissioner. He was an ex firechief and there is nothing that he wouldn't do to help the fire company out. I am just happy to see that they are doing this for him. They called me this evening to advise that it would be an honor to transport him and it brought me to tears. They said that they are there for me for whatever help I may need. I guess this is when you find out what the brotherhood is all about.

    Thank you all for the support that you are giving me. It has and is giving me the strength that I need to get through.

    What amazing support you have
    That brought tears to my eyes when I read how the brotherhood stepped up when you needed support the most. You just have to wonder when you see that kind of support why there isn't more of that in this world but let's be thankful for the kindness and caring many, many show at times like these.

    Sounds like you have everything in order and you have now then taken one more successful step in the grieving process. I agree that your husband must be smiling down so broadly at how his fire family have come to your aid and will honor his memory with transport. I have seen fire station funerals and transports and they are just so touching. Brave men and women, like your husband - all first responders.

    One step at a time, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time, but you can do it. We are always here for you.

    My prayers continue to be with you and yours. Blessings, Bluerose
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    sassy1 said:

    Final Arrangements
    I completed the final arrangements for Glenn's funeral today. The viewing is Friday night for 2 hours and the fire company will be holding a service in his honor. The funeral is 10am Saturday and his casket and flowers will be transported by a fire truck to the cemetary where the services will be held. When I arrived to make arrangements this morning, I found that the fire company had already contacted them and advised that the bills would be taken care of. I know he must be smiling from ear to ear because he was so proud to be involved in the fire company. He spent 53 years of his life as a volunteer fireman and also 20 years as a fire commissioner. He was an ex firechief and there is nothing that he wouldn't do to help the fire company out. I am just happy to see that they are doing this for him. They called me this evening to advise that it would be an honor to transport him and it brought me to tears. They said that they are there for me for whatever help I may need. I guess this is when you find out what the brotherhood is all about.

    Thank you all for the support that you are giving me. It has and is giving me the strength that I need to get through.

    The Brotherhood
    My husband was in law enforcement (game warden) for 30 years, and was a volunteer fireman for about ten years many years ago. I was surprised and touched by how many firemen, wardens, and park rangers came to his memorial service. Several of them also told stories about him. I, too, felt like my husband was smiling down at us. Take care, get some rest, and keep in touch. Fay
  • sassy1
    sassy1 Member Posts: 54

    The Brotherhood
    My husband was in law enforcement (game warden) for 30 years, and was a volunteer fireman for about ten years many years ago. I was surprised and touched by how many firemen, wardens, and park rangers came to his memorial service. Several of them also told stories about him. I, too, felt like my husband was smiling down at us. Take care, get some rest, and keep in touch. Fay

    Can't Sleep
    My husband's viewing was last night and I thought I was doing pretty well until the fire company and the police came in to pay their respects. The fire company service brought me to tears and I think I was the only one crying. I am trying to be strong but it is getting so hard. Today, I think, the worse is yet to come. It is the funeral services. My family has come out to support me and that makes me very happy. They say that they will all be there for the funeral and Glenn must be smiling down because they are here. I went to the Funeral Home by myself yesterday to sit and be with my husband and I had a good cry at the time. My mother was upset with me that I didn't call someone to go with me but I told her that I am a big girl and I just wanted to spend some time alone with my husband. The Chaplain came this afternoon to discuss my husband and the service with me and he advised that the Hospice services are there for me and if I need anything at all to just call them and they will help me out. Right now, I just don't know which end is up.
  • pipwe1
    pipwe1 Member Posts: 53
    sassy1 said:

    Can't Sleep
    My husband's viewing was last night and I thought I was doing pretty well until the fire company and the police came in to pay their respects. The fire company service brought me to tears and I think I was the only one crying. I am trying to be strong but it is getting so hard. Today, I think, the worse is yet to come. It is the funeral services. My family has come out to support me and that makes me very happy. They say that they will all be there for the funeral and Glenn must be smiling down because they are here. I went to the Funeral Home by myself yesterday to sit and be with my husband and I had a good cry at the time. My mother was upset with me that I didn't call someone to go with me but I told her that I am a big girl and I just wanted to spend some time alone with my husband. The Chaplain came this afternoon to discuss my husband and the service with me and he advised that the Hospice services are there for me and if I need anything at all to just call them and they will help me out. Right now, I just don't know which end is up.

    sassy
    Oh Sassy... my thoughts and prayers are with you on this hard day.... be kind to yourself... Glenn is watching over you... loving you and thanking you for your time together.

    Wendy
  • bluerose
    bluerose Member Posts: 1,104
    sassy1 said:

    Can't Sleep
    My husband's viewing was last night and I thought I was doing pretty well until the fire company and the police came in to pay their respects. The fire company service brought me to tears and I think I was the only one crying. I am trying to be strong but it is getting so hard. Today, I think, the worse is yet to come. It is the funeral services. My family has come out to support me and that makes me very happy. They say that they will all be there for the funeral and Glenn must be smiling down because they are here. I went to the Funeral Home by myself yesterday to sit and be with my husband and I had a good cry at the time. My mother was upset with me that I didn't call someone to go with me but I told her that I am a big girl and I just wanted to spend some time alone with my husband. The Chaplain came this afternoon to discuss my husband and the service with me and he advised that the Hospice services are there for me and if I need anything at all to just call them and they will help me out. Right now, I just don't know which end is up.

    Hope you managed to get some sleep
    No doubt this will be a hard day for you but one step at a time. Try not to look too far ahead and take them as them come, there will doubtlessly be many stages but so far you have done well.

    Do listen to the Chaplain who reminded you that Hospice is still there for you, let them help you through your continued grief - they know how to do so in spades.

    My prayers are with you on this difficult day ahead, you are truly blessed to have so many family members there to support you. Let them help and get rest when you can. If you have to call your doctor to have a prescription on hand to help you sleep now and again do that, you need your rest and that might just get you over the humps.

    Blessings, Bluerose
  • sassy1
    sassy1 Member Posts: 54
    bluerose said:

    Hope you managed to get some sleep
    No doubt this will be a hard day for you but one step at a time. Try not to look too far ahead and take them as them come, there will doubtlessly be many stages but so far you have done well.

    Do listen to the Chaplain who reminded you that Hospice is still there for you, let them help you through your continued grief - they know how to do so in spades.

    My prayers are with you on this difficult day ahead, you are truly blessed to have so many family members there to support you. Let them help and get rest when you can. If you have to call your doctor to have a prescription on hand to help you sleep now and again do that, you need your rest and that might just get you over the humps.

    Blessings, Bluerose

    Thank you
    Well, I don't know how to explain it but I feel numb but also I cry almost constantly now. I did so well at the funeral this morning until the Chaplain came and started to give the service. He then asked people to stand up and talk about him and when they did it just broke my heart that he is not here anymore. The more they talked, it seemed that I cried more. After the service and everyone paid their respects and went outside, I went up and kissed my honey good-bye and told him that I would be there later. At that point, I think I was almost on the verge of hysterics. I walked out of the room and the tears got worse. One of my nieces came up and just hugged and held onto me. I just could not stop crying. We then drove to the cemetery where the Chaplain did a small service and everyone walked out and it hit me that I couldn't see him anymore. It was so final and I walked out again crying which I guess if I weren't that I would be considered abnormal. My niece, whom my husband would go out and spend weekends with, told me to come out for Christmas and that her husband would come and pick me up so that I would not have to worry about the car or driving. I am considering it. I told my mother and she said that she thought it would be a good idea. That I needed to get away. I will have to think about it. I am trying to go on because of the promise I made to my husband. Tomorrow I am going out with my other niece and her family to tag a Christmas tree.

    I want to thank all of you for the support that you have given me. I don't know what I would have done if I had not had all of you to talk to. I know it seemed that I was being strong but I tend to put up a good front for people. I try to be strong so that it makes it easy on others. I guess today proves that you can only hold out for so long before your emotions take over.

    I am definitely going to speak with someone for support other than my friends here but unless you're actually going through the process, I don't think you can really understand.

    I hope that you all don't mind, but I would like to continue leaning on you for the support that you have given because, as I said, you have gotten me through a lot over the months. I would like to think that maybe one day I can be there for someone the way that you all have been for me.
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    sassy1 said:

    Thank you
    Well, I don't know how to explain it but I feel numb but also I cry almost constantly now. I did so well at the funeral this morning until the Chaplain came and started to give the service. He then asked people to stand up and talk about him and when they did it just broke my heart that he is not here anymore. The more they talked, it seemed that I cried more. After the service and everyone paid their respects and went outside, I went up and kissed my honey good-bye and told him that I would be there later. At that point, I think I was almost on the verge of hysterics. I walked out of the room and the tears got worse. One of my nieces came up and just hugged and held onto me. I just could not stop crying. We then drove to the cemetery where the Chaplain did a small service and everyone walked out and it hit me that I couldn't see him anymore. It was so final and I walked out again crying which I guess if I weren't that I would be considered abnormal. My niece, whom my husband would go out and spend weekends with, told me to come out for Christmas and that her husband would come and pick me up so that I would not have to worry about the car or driving. I am considering it. I told my mother and she said that she thought it would be a good idea. That I needed to get away. I will have to think about it. I am trying to go on because of the promise I made to my husband. Tomorrow I am going out with my other niece and her family to tag a Christmas tree.

    I want to thank all of you for the support that you have given me. I don't know what I would have done if I had not had all of you to talk to. I know it seemed that I was being strong but I tend to put up a good front for people. I try to be strong so that it makes it easy on others. I guess today proves that you can only hold out for so long before your emotions take over.

    I am definitely going to speak with someone for support other than my friends here but unless you're actually going through the process, I don't think you can really understand.

    I hope that you all don't mind, but I would like to continue leaning on you for the support that you have given because, as I said, you have gotten me through a lot over the months. I would like to think that maybe one day I can be there for someone the way that you all have been for me.

    Feelings and Crying
    It sounds to me like you are doing just fine and that your feelings and crying are normal if there is such a thing as normal. Hey, my husband has been gone for over a month now, and I still cry regularly. I did pretty well with Thanksgiving. Both of our sons and their families were up at our oldest son's cabin. We all had Thanksgiving there. Our seven year old granddaughter said grace and asked God to take care of her Grandpa. The daughters-in-law picked me up at 4:30 the next morning to go shopping. We had a great day and got some good bargains. When we got back, we were all going to eat leftovers and soup. About 5 minutes before we were going to eat, I started to fall apart. I told them I had to leave. I cried all the way home and for a couple of hours at home. Both sons called to be sure I was alright, and I was. I just needed to let go for awhile. I think it's healthy for us to do that. You're right, people who aren't dealing with this don't understand. My sons and daughters-in-law were concerned, but they didn't understand really. It's this new normal. I don't cry as much now, but I still cry. Often. Even I can't really understand what sets me off. I have talked to several people who have experienced the same thing. I seem to know a lot of people who have lost spouses. A couple of them check in with me regularly. That helps. Stay with us. You have my phone number. Call if you need to talk. Fay
  • sassy1
    sassy1 Member Posts: 54

    Feelings and Crying
    It sounds to me like you are doing just fine and that your feelings and crying are normal if there is such a thing as normal. Hey, my husband has been gone for over a month now, and I still cry regularly. I did pretty well with Thanksgiving. Both of our sons and their families were up at our oldest son's cabin. We all had Thanksgiving there. Our seven year old granddaughter said grace and asked God to take care of her Grandpa. The daughters-in-law picked me up at 4:30 the next morning to go shopping. We had a great day and got some good bargains. When we got back, we were all going to eat leftovers and soup. About 5 minutes before we were going to eat, I started to fall apart. I told them I had to leave. I cried all the way home and for a couple of hours at home. Both sons called to be sure I was alright, and I was. I just needed to let go for awhile. I think it's healthy for us to do that. You're right, people who aren't dealing with this don't understand. My sons and daughters-in-law were concerned, but they didn't understand really. It's this new normal. I don't cry as much now, but I still cry. Often. Even I can't really understand what sets me off. I have talked to several people who have experienced the same thing. I seem to know a lot of people who have lost spouses. A couple of them check in with me regularly. That helps. Stay with us. You have my phone number. Call if you need to talk. Fay

    Understand
    I understand completely what you went through on Thanksgiving. I spent the day alone because all I could do was cry and I didn't want to be in a crowd of people to do it. And as far as what sets me off to cry, it could be anything from watching a girl try on a wedding gown to a certain Christmas song. Or it could just be a picture that I look at. It was a very rough day and my husband is at rest now and as you know, it doesn't make things any easier to know that. I can't tell you the number of times I heard from people both last night and today that, "he is out of pain now" when they didn't even visit to know what kind of pain he was in. But I guess in a way it makes them feel better. As you said that your husband was a member of a brotherhood, when the fire company came in and did their service and then the representative from the police department came in and gave him honors, it just really made me cry to think that he wasn't here to see it. Sort of stupid huh. When the funeral was over, my mother asked me if I wanted to be alone today and I told her yes. She understands because she lost my father seven years and two months ago and she is still affected by everything. She also had a very hard time today. Yes, I do have your number and I do want to talk but I want to wait a little so that when we do talk it's not through an ocean of tears, if that's possible. I would like to know though, I intend to go back to work but I've been handling the situation with my husband for seven months now. I want to wait a couple of weeks or so before I go back to try to get my head straight so that I can try to at least control my crying so that if someone at the job says something to me I won't burst into tears. Am I wrong for waiting? Fay, you have been so much help to me and I really appreciate the support. I will call you soon.

    ((HUGS))
    Shirley
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    sassy1 said:

    Understand
    I understand completely what you went through on Thanksgiving. I spent the day alone because all I could do was cry and I didn't want to be in a crowd of people to do it. And as far as what sets me off to cry, it could be anything from watching a girl try on a wedding gown to a certain Christmas song. Or it could just be a picture that I look at. It was a very rough day and my husband is at rest now and as you know, it doesn't make things any easier to know that. I can't tell you the number of times I heard from people both last night and today that, "he is out of pain now" when they didn't even visit to know what kind of pain he was in. But I guess in a way it makes them feel better. As you said that your husband was a member of a brotherhood, when the fire company came in and did their service and then the representative from the police department came in and gave him honors, it just really made me cry to think that he wasn't here to see it. Sort of stupid huh. When the funeral was over, my mother asked me if I wanted to be alone today and I told her yes. She understands because she lost my father seven years and two months ago and she is still affected by everything. She also had a very hard time today. Yes, I do have your number and I do want to talk but I want to wait a little so that when we do talk it's not through an ocean of tears, if that's possible. I would like to know though, I intend to go back to work but I've been handling the situation with my husband for seven months now. I want to wait a couple of weeks or so before I go back to try to get my head straight so that I can try to at least control my crying so that if someone at the job says something to me I won't burst into tears. Am I wrong for waiting? Fay, you have been so much help to me and I really appreciate the support. I will call you soon.

    ((HUGS))
    Shirley

    Take Your Time
    Only you know what is best for you. Take your time to decide what you want to do. I'm retired so I don't have to worry about work. I do a lot of volunteering though, and have told people I won't be back to doing that until after the first of the year. Then I will evaluate what I am going to do. There is no expiration date on our grieving or your calling. Right now you just need to do what's right for you. It sounds like your mother is a wise woman who has been through this and understands. I talked with a couple of my church friends today who are "widows." (Boy do I dislike that label.) They both said they had similar experiences. One of the ladies just lost her daughter, too. I can only imagine that pain. Take care of yourself. Fay
  • sassy1
    sassy1 Member Posts: 54

    Take Your Time
    Only you know what is best for you. Take your time to decide what you want to do. I'm retired so I don't have to worry about work. I do a lot of volunteering though, and have told people I won't be back to doing that until after the first of the year. Then I will evaluate what I am going to do. There is no expiration date on our grieving or your calling. Right now you just need to do what's right for you. It sounds like your mother is a wise woman who has been through this and understands. I talked with a couple of my church friends today who are "widows." (Boy do I dislike that label.) They both said they had similar experiences. One of the ladies just lost her daughter, too. I can only imagine that pain. Take care of yourself. Fay

    Work
    It seems the decision to go back to work was made for me. My employer came to my home this afternoon around 4pm to give his condolences. He apologized because he was not at the viewing or the service but he said that there was a misunderstanding somewhere along the line and he didn't know about it?? I was crying at the time so I think that bothered him because he didn't know how to handle it. After I stopped crying, I advised him that I was going to contact him about coming back to work. He then hit me with the bombshell. He doesn't have any job for me at this time. I don't know what I'm going to do now but I'm not going to think about that until next year. I am just amazed that he picks now of all times to tell me that I no longer have a job. But I shouldn't be surprised I guess because he wanted me out of the job anyway. The only reason I still had my job I guess, was because my direct manager said that he really needed me. Now with both he and I out, the owner has decided that he can do without me. At this point, I just don't know what I'm going to do because I was on family leave and I can't file for unemployment. I just don't know what I'm going to do. It's hard enough to deal with the loss of my husband but now to be hit with the loss of my job and having no income at all, I don't know what to do anymore. I'll figure something out. I'm a strong woman and I will find a way to take care of myself. As you say, I'm going to take it a day or a minute at a time.

    Thanks for your support.

    Shirley
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    sassy1 said:

    Work
    It seems the decision to go back to work was made for me. My employer came to my home this afternoon around 4pm to give his condolences. He apologized because he was not at the viewing or the service but he said that there was a misunderstanding somewhere along the line and he didn't know about it?? I was crying at the time so I think that bothered him because he didn't know how to handle it. After I stopped crying, I advised him that I was going to contact him about coming back to work. He then hit me with the bombshell. He doesn't have any job for me at this time. I don't know what I'm going to do now but I'm not going to think about that until next year. I am just amazed that he picks now of all times to tell me that I no longer have a job. But I shouldn't be surprised I guess because he wanted me out of the job anyway. The only reason I still had my job I guess, was because my direct manager said that he really needed me. Now with both he and I out, the owner has decided that he can do without me. At this point, I just don't know what I'm going to do because I was on family leave and I can't file for unemployment. I just don't know what I'm going to do. It's hard enough to deal with the loss of my husband but now to be hit with the loss of my job and having no income at all, I don't know what to do anymore. I'll figure something out. I'm a strong woman and I will find a way to take care of myself. As you say, I'm going to take it a day or a minute at a time.

    Thanks for your support.

    Shirley

    Hard
    It's really hard to understand how some people think and act. I'm sorry about the job. I think you're right to wait until the new year. Some people do have a hard time with tears. I figure that's their problem, not mine. Can they let you go when you are out on family leave? I'd check into that. I thought the idea of family leave was that they held your job. I'm probably wrong, though. Anyway, remember that you were out of work when you got that job. You can get another job. I'm not saying it will be easy, but from your posts I would agree that you are a strong person. Take care. Fay
  • sassy1
    sassy1 Member Posts: 54

    Hard
    It's really hard to understand how some people think and act. I'm sorry about the job. I think you're right to wait until the new year. Some people do have a hard time with tears. I figure that's their problem, not mine. Can they let you go when you are out on family leave? I'd check into that. I thought the idea of family leave was that they held your job. I'm probably wrong, though. Anyway, remember that you were out of work when you got that job. You can get another job. I'm not saying it will be easy, but from your posts I would agree that you are a strong person. Take care. Fay

    Work
    Fay,
    Thank you. I am a strong woman and nothing, as you know, is as hard as losing the one person that has been a part of your life and is like the other other half of you. Losing the job may have been a blessing in disguise. Who knows? In the new year I will find another job whether it be working in an office or cashier in a store, I will make out one way or another. As far as the family leave, I worked for a small company in which they did not even have to pay me because it is less than 50 employees. I will check with the state though to see if they can legally let me go. But thinking about it, who would want to work for a company that doesn't want you there. I'll see what I can find out. I will be calling you soon if you don't mind. I think it will be nice to physically talk to someone who is going through the same loss. I actually had a neighbor who is a young girl come to the viewing and tell me that she knew what I was going through because she just lost her father. Her boyfriend told her that it's not the same thing. She couldn't understand. I'm in New Jersey so just let me know what is a good time to call you.

    Shirley
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    sassy1 said:

    Work
    Fay,
    Thank you. I am a strong woman and nothing, as you know, is as hard as losing the one person that has been a part of your life and is like the other other half of you. Losing the job may have been a blessing in disguise. Who knows? In the new year I will find another job whether it be working in an office or cashier in a store, I will make out one way or another. As far as the family leave, I worked for a small company in which they did not even have to pay me because it is less than 50 employees. I will check with the state though to see if they can legally let me go. But thinking about it, who would want to work for a company that doesn't want you there. I'll see what I can find out. I will be calling you soon if you don't mind. I think it will be nice to physically talk to someone who is going through the same loss. I actually had a neighbor who is a young girl come to the viewing and tell me that she knew what I was going through because she just lost her father. Her boyfriend told her that it's not the same thing. She couldn't understand. I'm in New Jersey so just let me know what is a good time to call you.

    Shirley

    PST
    I'm in California on Pacific Standard Time which is three hours different. As long as you don't call after 7PM, we'll be ok. I am in and out a lot during the day, but anytime between 11Am and 7PM your time should work if I am home. Please call collect. I am in a better financial situation than you are. My husband's retirement continues, and he had life insurance. It makes things a lot easier when you don't have to worry about money. Fay