The 'abused dog syndrome'

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  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    blueroses said:

    Oh I so agree
    Hey Rick, I thought this just had happened to you, hence the warning obviously about making sure you weren't having symptoms that might have to send you back. Oh I so agree that we, well most of us, know our bodies better than the docs after all who supplies them with the symptoms necessary for their diagnoses? I noticed you said the word 'resident' as well so that struck a chord in me as well, maybe it's just my experiences but I have had to stop residents from doing all kinds of haywired things that I knew weren't in my best interests, it never turned out to be the wrong interventions on my part. We absolutely have to listen to that little voice but have the wisdom to know when to hand it over to the experts as well. This all reminds me of The Serenity Prayer that goes like this 'God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change ... Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference'.

    Actually I nearly died, literally because of the 'output' issue during my bone marrow transplant. I was in hospital after the transplant was done and was going to be moved to another isolation unit in another hospital so I had to get dressed. I put on my jeans which I hadnt had on since I got into the hospital 2 weeks or so before for the treatment and I could hardly get the zipper up in the front. They had been plying me full of liquids and I was sooooooooo thirsty, dried out no doubt from the total body radiation, and they had a sheet there to record all that went in to me and what came out. I mentioned the obvious bloating to me, they checked my ankles and said it wasnt a big deal, sure felt like a big deal to me. Anywho they transferred me and the day after I got to the hospital I went into congestive heart failure, a quick acting cardiologist screamed 'GET HER ON DIARETICS NOWWWWWWW', apparently no one was doing the math in the input and output department and it all threw me into heart failure. Been battling that ever since. In that case it was one small symptom that I did report but all ignored.

    I look at healthy people walking around oblivious to the possible downsides of hospital stays, they are still blissfully ignorant thinking 'oh well if I get sick I just go in and they will fix me', hmmm. I live near my hospital here and so hear alot of ambulances going in and each time I first thank God I'm not in it for once, and the second prayer is for whoever is in it. Ahhh for that blissful ignorance stage again. lol.

    I don't want to sound like I am bashing the medical community as a whole but it's important to be open and come forward not only with the brave battles we wage everyday but with the parts that aren't so pallitable. Heck they saved my life, no biatching here about them for the most part but there is the other side of it we all tend to bump into once and again. Anywho dat's my 3 cents. lol.

    Patients often teach their healers!


    The thing that bothers me most, is the assumption that patients are mere "cases" incapable of independent thought. I remember a young resident asking me if he could present my case when he went on rounds with his interns. When I informed him that I was having difficulty with side effects and explained that I had not yet had my vinblastin, he asked me if "vinblastin" was an anti-emetic. I told him that it was one component in my "chemo-cocktail" and he went on his way. The next day, he brought his interns around and asked if I had had my dose of vinblastin yet. As he concluded and began moving his group out of my room, I overheard him explain that vinblastin "...was one component of (my) chemo-cocktail". Should I have sent him a tuition bill?

    Love and Courage!

    Rick
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980
    Dreamdove said:

    I tried to get the old me back
    nsquirrely, I have really attempted to get the old me back but maybe that was a mistake. My hair is back to normal, my physical activity level also. My life is pretty much the same and I have the same job. I did move to a more convenient apartment very close to where I work. I basically have the same activities in my life as before. However, dating is a disaster. I find it very difficult. I am not the same as before, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Yet a part of me still wants to be like I was before the hysterectomy. But I want someone to love the "new" me. And that seems to be the hard part.

    A weekend of being 'the old me'
    With my hysterectomy just 3 weeks ago, I can already see how wary my grandkids (ages 6 & 7) are around me, warned repeatedly by their parents not to hurt or tire or cough on this new 'sick Grammy Linda'. But for both days of this 'between treatments' weekend, I did everything in my power to be 'the old me' for them, the pre-cancer grandma they had a couple of months ago. This was our first 'sleep over' weekend since my surgery, and over the course of 24 hours, we went to two different playgrounds, even though I was unable to catch them when they couldn't make it across the monkey bars, (but that gave them extra incentive to make it across to the ladders on the other side!) And we walked to the Dollar Tree and bought PopRocks to explode in our mouths; and went to McDonalds so they could play in that playland, and went for huge make-your-own-sundaes at Friendly's. And just as they have always done, curled up in bed in the dark, the grandkids grilled me about all the big things they've been wondering about that no will talk to them about ("Are you trying not to die?" "Will you be able to see me from heaven?"), and I let them see my big new scar, and did my best to answer in reassuring age-appropriate ways all of the ga-zillion questions about radiation and chemo that little people will have after over-hearing the adults talk around them. And my incision was finally healed enough that I could let them snuggle against me to watch TV. And for 2 days, I was 'the old me' and they looked so happy to have me back. And so was I. You who have been living with cancer longer, please tell me, is that the trick to this?: in the reprieves between treatments, do you have to pack it all in and LIVE as hard as you can and BE YOU as much as you can? In those little windows of 'normalcy' do you try and regain as much of YOU as you can, even as the cancer re-defines who that is?
  • Dreamdove
    Dreamdove Member Posts: 175 Member

    A weekend of being 'the old me'
    With my hysterectomy just 3 weeks ago, I can already see how wary my grandkids (ages 6 & 7) are around me, warned repeatedly by their parents not to hurt or tire or cough on this new 'sick Grammy Linda'. But for both days of this 'between treatments' weekend, I did everything in my power to be 'the old me' for them, the pre-cancer grandma they had a couple of months ago. This was our first 'sleep over' weekend since my surgery, and over the course of 24 hours, we went to two different playgrounds, even though I was unable to catch them when they couldn't make it across the monkey bars, (but that gave them extra incentive to make it across to the ladders on the other side!) And we walked to the Dollar Tree and bought PopRocks to explode in our mouths; and went to McDonalds so they could play in that playland, and went for huge make-your-own-sundaes at Friendly's. And just as they have always done, curled up in bed in the dark, the grandkids grilled me about all the big things they've been wondering about that no will talk to them about ("Are you trying not to die?" "Will you be able to see me from heaven?"), and I let them see my big new scar, and did my best to answer in reassuring age-appropriate ways all of the ga-zillion questions about radiation and chemo that little people will have after over-hearing the adults talk around them. And my incision was finally healed enough that I could let them snuggle against me to watch TV. And for 2 days, I was 'the old me' and they looked so happy to have me back. And so was I. You who have been living with cancer longer, please tell me, is that the trick to this?: in the reprieves between treatments, do you have to pack it all in and LIVE as hard as you can and BE YOU as much as you can? In those little windows of 'normalcy' do you try and regain as much of YOU as you can, even as the cancer re-defines who that is?

    windows of normalcy
    linda, I do have windows of normalcy more and more. I feel like the "old me" often, but not often enough to say I am the "old me." Jan. of 2009 will be 2 years since the ovarian cancer diagnoses. And people in general are more comfortable with me. There are those who will never be comfortable. I can see fear in their eyes. I think it's fear for themselves, fear that it may happen to them and what would they do? Could they be strong and survive or will they crumble and their whole world collapse around them. Hysterectomy is very difficult for a woman and something I never thought would happen to me. But yet as time as gone on, I actually feel almost "normal." "Normal" as I sit here at the keyboard! I thought I would be all empty emotionally because my uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, cervix, and even my appendix are gone forever. Those parts kind of defined me in some ways because for so many years I planned my life: to find a man who loved me, get married, and have children. Well, 2 out of 3 of my children are grown up and I have been divorced for 16 years now. Those parts they took out can no longer define who I am. I have been forced to move on. So I have tried to be "ME" as much as I can, whoever that is, in the life I have left.
  • sandybe
    sandybe Member Posts: 40

    A weekend of being 'the old me'
    With my hysterectomy just 3 weeks ago, I can already see how wary my grandkids (ages 6 & 7) are around me, warned repeatedly by their parents not to hurt or tire or cough on this new 'sick Grammy Linda'. But for both days of this 'between treatments' weekend, I did everything in my power to be 'the old me' for them, the pre-cancer grandma they had a couple of months ago. This was our first 'sleep over' weekend since my surgery, and over the course of 24 hours, we went to two different playgrounds, even though I was unable to catch them when they couldn't make it across the monkey bars, (but that gave them extra incentive to make it across to the ladders on the other side!) And we walked to the Dollar Tree and bought PopRocks to explode in our mouths; and went to McDonalds so they could play in that playland, and went for huge make-your-own-sundaes at Friendly's. And just as they have always done, curled up in bed in the dark, the grandkids grilled me about all the big things they've been wondering about that no will talk to them about ("Are you trying not to die?" "Will you be able to see me from heaven?"), and I let them see my big new scar, and did my best to answer in reassuring age-appropriate ways all of the ga-zillion questions about radiation and chemo that little people will have after over-hearing the adults talk around them. And my incision was finally healed enough that I could let them snuggle against me to watch TV. And for 2 days, I was 'the old me' and they looked so happy to have me back. And so was I. You who have been living with cancer longer, please tell me, is that the trick to this?: in the reprieves between treatments, do you have to pack it all in and LIVE as hard as you can and BE YOU as much as you can? In those little windows of 'normalcy' do you try and regain as much of YOU as you can, even as the cancer re-defines who that is?

    Normalcy
    Normalcy is all I have been striving for since my first diagnosis almost two years ago. My children are still young. All through treatment I never missed a hockey game or a dance recital, I made it too all but one baseball game because I was too sick. I tried to live as close to normal as I could for my kids aged 6 and 8 at the time. I think it was just as important for me to live the same kind of life as before the diagnosis as it was for my children and husband. It was very difficult at times, and I know I paid for it physically at times as well. My mother would get upset with me because I was doing too much, and I could totally see her view of things, but to me it was important to be there for my kids as much as I could. My children knew what was happening to me, but are still so young to completely understand. I felt better myself being with them. I guess I made them my priority, and a little bit of normalcy for me.
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    sandybe said:

    Normalcy
    Normalcy is all I have been striving for since my first diagnosis almost two years ago. My children are still young. All through treatment I never missed a hockey game or a dance recital, I made it too all but one baseball game because I was too sick. I tried to live as close to normal as I could for my kids aged 6 and 8 at the time. I think it was just as important for me to live the same kind of life as before the diagnosis as it was for my children and husband. It was very difficult at times, and I know I paid for it physically at times as well. My mother would get upset with me because I was doing too much, and I could totally see her view of things, but to me it was important to be there for my kids as much as I could. My children knew what was happening to me, but are still so young to completely understand. I felt better myself being with them. I guess I made them my priority, and a little bit of normalcy for me.

    Children get us through
    I'm so glad that you found a way to remain as close to normal as was possible and sounds like even went beyond what you should have been doing but if it worked for you then that's the important thing. I too had young kids when I was sick and thank God they were also too young to really know what was happening, unfortunately I was extremely ill after having congestive heart failure during transplant so I couldn't have done half of what you were able to do but I know that I tried my best too, for the kids sake to fight off symptoms of the treatments as well. I am so glad you got to feel even that little bit of normalcy, I am sure it carried you a long way. God Bless and take care.
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    terato said:

    Patients often teach their healers!


    The thing that bothers me most, is the assumption that patients are mere "cases" incapable of independent thought. I remember a young resident asking me if he could present my case when he went on rounds with his interns. When I informed him that I was having difficulty with side effects and explained that I had not yet had my vinblastin, he asked me if "vinblastin" was an anti-emetic. I told him that it was one component in my "chemo-cocktail" and he went on his way. The next day, he brought his interns around and asked if I had had my dose of vinblastin yet. As he concluded and began moving his group out of my room, I overheard him explain that vinblastin "...was one component of (my) chemo-cocktail". Should I have sent him a tuition bill?

    Love and Courage!

    Rick

    Yup definitely, Send him the bill
    Good one Rick, those residents - gotta love em. Ahh the stories we all could tell about that one group of medical sorts alone. lol

    Actually I try and make it a rule of mine that if a resident does anything to treat me like less than a human being or ignorant I do my best to set him/her straight as tactfully as I can. Of course it depends what the situation is when I am in hospital and my pain level or heart's situation (2 of the reasons I normally find myself in a resident's care), sometimes tact goes out the window and I just let them know that I am not a case first, I am a person first. Maybe the next patient who doesn't have as much strength as I mustered with this particular resident will be treated better because I took the time to educate him/her.

    Way to go 'Teach'. lol
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980
    blueroses said:

    Children get us through
    I'm so glad that you found a way to remain as close to normal as was possible and sounds like even went beyond what you should have been doing but if it worked for you then that's the important thing. I too had young kids when I was sick and thank God they were also too young to really know what was happening, unfortunately I was extremely ill after having congestive heart failure during transplant so I couldn't have done half of what you were able to do but I know that I tried my best too, for the kids sake to fight off symptoms of the treatments as well. I am so glad you got to feel even that little bit of normalcy, I am sure it carried you a long way. God Bless and take care.

    Of my family, only the children can look death in the face
    My little grandchildren are the only ones that dare to talk about whether I might die. They love me as much as they love anyone on earth, but they don't have the same fear of that possibility as the rest of my family and friends. Last year when their pet rabbit died, and every summer as the hermit crabs from the beach and the goldfish from the Fair die, they wipe away their tears and matter-of-factly repeat what I've always told them: "All God's creatures poop; and all God's creatures die." And their simple openness this weekend actually took away most of my own fear. I told them that I will try not to die any time soon and will fight hard to stay here with them in this world. They agree with that, even with their pure unwavering faith in our eventual reunion in heaven. And now that we've talked about it, they'll have an easier time accepting the changes in me during my upcoming radiation and chemo. And I will make these amazing children a priority during the periods between treatments where I feel good, and do everything I can to rise to the occasion by being "the old me" as much as I can whenever I can. What a wonderful discussion board this is that we start out this thread talking about being de-humamized by our insensitive treatments, and end up counting our blessings!
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524

    A weekend of being 'the old me'
    With my hysterectomy just 3 weeks ago, I can already see how wary my grandkids (ages 6 & 7) are around me, warned repeatedly by their parents not to hurt or tire or cough on this new 'sick Grammy Linda'. But for both days of this 'between treatments' weekend, I did everything in my power to be 'the old me' for them, the pre-cancer grandma they had a couple of months ago. This was our first 'sleep over' weekend since my surgery, and over the course of 24 hours, we went to two different playgrounds, even though I was unable to catch them when they couldn't make it across the monkey bars, (but that gave them extra incentive to make it across to the ladders on the other side!) And we walked to the Dollar Tree and bought PopRocks to explode in our mouths; and went to McDonalds so they could play in that playland, and went for huge make-your-own-sundaes at Friendly's. And just as they have always done, curled up in bed in the dark, the grandkids grilled me about all the big things they've been wondering about that no will talk to them about ("Are you trying not to die?" "Will you be able to see me from heaven?"), and I let them see my big new scar, and did my best to answer in reassuring age-appropriate ways all of the ga-zillion questions about radiation and chemo that little people will have after over-hearing the adults talk around them. And my incision was finally healed enough that I could let them snuggle against me to watch TV. And for 2 days, I was 'the old me' and they looked so happy to have me back. And so was I. You who have been living with cancer longer, please tell me, is that the trick to this?: in the reprieves between treatments, do you have to pack it all in and LIVE as hard as you can and BE YOU as much as you can? In those little windows of 'normalcy' do you try and regain as much of YOU as you can, even as the cancer re-defines who that is?

    Different For Everyone Perhaps?
    Linda,first off I am so glad you had such a fabulous time with your Grandkids, as the old Grammy Linda, bet that did you more good than all the meds on the planet eh? So glad you could muster up enough energy to do that, wonderful. I am sure it did a great deal for the kids as well, to get some answers to their questions and see how things haven't changed that much at all. Great job Grammy, all the way around.

    In the beginning, as I was going through my first chemos and everything was so new to me in how rotten I felt and how much I couldn't do anymore, I do remember several times feeling such a loss oh how things used to be. However as time went by, new symptoms kept coming up and others not going away, I stopped thinking about normalcy and started to live day by day - actually it was all I could do really. I have my up and down times but I don't really think of normalcy anymore. Maybe I have just forgotten what that was like now that so many years have passed. Maybe every cancer patient has their own ideas as to how to bring back 'normalcy' into their lives, or cope with their new normalcy, maybe depending on how invasive the health situation is in their lives at any given point. God Bless.
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524

    Of my family, only the children can look death in the face
    My little grandchildren are the only ones that dare to talk about whether I might die. They love me as much as they love anyone on earth, but they don't have the same fear of that possibility as the rest of my family and friends. Last year when their pet rabbit died, and every summer as the hermit crabs from the beach and the goldfish from the Fair die, they wipe away their tears and matter-of-factly repeat what I've always told them: "All God's creatures poop; and all God's creatures die." And their simple openness this weekend actually took away most of my own fear. I told them that I will try not to die any time soon and will fight hard to stay here with them in this world. They agree with that, even with their pure unwavering faith in our eventual reunion in heaven. And now that we've talked about it, they'll have an easier time accepting the changes in me during my upcoming radiation and chemo. And I will make these amazing children a priority during the periods between treatments where I feel good, and do everything I can to rise to the occasion by being "the old me" as much as I can whenever I can. What a wonderful discussion board this is that we start out this thread talking about being de-humamized by our insensitive treatments, and end up counting our blessings!

    What good medicine they be.
    Kids are so great for lifting ones spirits in so many situations aren't they? I believe they are so honest and connected because they haven't been on the planet long and still remember 'the source' and 'the truth' so clearly. But after years on this planet they learn about pain and negativity and all that could be seen as dark and slowly that innocence vanishes to some degree or another. Wish we could all stay as connected as we were in the early years, think of what a different place the world would be then?

    Your Grandkids sound truly enlightened, thanks it seems, in great part to you. Keep up the good work, it benefits all concerned.

    I agree that this discussion board throughout is a blessing to all who read the posts and even though I feel it's necessary to talk out all sides in the cancer experience, good, bad and ugly I do feel that invariably it leads one back to what they have that is good in their lives. Glad you came to that conclusion too. Take care.
  • TereB
    TereB Member Posts: 286 Member
    Sometimes Abused Dog
    There have been times when I have felt the Abused Dog Syndrome. It usually happens when I've been having too many tests. By the time I go for a blood test, my urge to run is huge. And the moment I see the needle I start crying. A blood test is not so bad, it's just one test too many. I also suffer from Avoidance. There are times when I am due for many tests and I feel the strong urge to cancel the appointment. Once I am there for the tests, the urge to ran is big.

    To me the MRI machine is just like a coffin. I am now able to have my MRIs without a sedative and can even take a nap while I'm in the machine. Your mind can help you in many ways to deal with all of this.

    I guess I've been lucky that I go to a nice hospital. It is the policy of the hospital to treat all the patients in a very nice way and to not allow any of them to be in pain. This works very well for me most of the time... until I get tired of being in the hospital and want to go home but I am not allowed to. I become the scared abused dog ready to bite to protect myself.

    The last time I was in the hospital was for a total hysterectomy. Many things went wrong and I was there for three weeks. My sister who lives in another city was worried, she thought maybe my husband was not telling her the truth, that I was probably dying. To her, three weeks in a hospital is only for very sick people. My husband came to my room with a camera, said my sister didn't believe him when he said I was doing OK so he wanted to send her a picture of me. I must've been under the influence of the morphine because I actually lifted my gown and let him take a picture. Just before he left I told him to tell my sister not to show the pic to anyone. He sent her the picture and told her that if she was going to show the pic to anyone, to charge at least $5 and split it with him. He is very lucky I didn't find out about this for a very long time.

    After having so many tests, most of us do not want to have anymore. The same with stays in the hospital. I think humor can help us go thru all of this. Maybe we sometimes get so angry because we are scared.

    Take care,
    Tere
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    TereB said:

    Sometimes Abused Dog
    There have been times when I have felt the Abused Dog Syndrome. It usually happens when I've been having too many tests. By the time I go for a blood test, my urge to run is huge. And the moment I see the needle I start crying. A blood test is not so bad, it's just one test too many. I also suffer from Avoidance. There are times when I am due for many tests and I feel the strong urge to cancel the appointment. Once I am there for the tests, the urge to ran is big.

    To me the MRI machine is just like a coffin. I am now able to have my MRIs without a sedative and can even take a nap while I'm in the machine. Your mind can help you in many ways to deal with all of this.

    I guess I've been lucky that I go to a nice hospital. It is the policy of the hospital to treat all the patients in a very nice way and to not allow any of them to be in pain. This works very well for me most of the time... until I get tired of being in the hospital and want to go home but I am not allowed to. I become the scared abused dog ready to bite to protect myself.

    The last time I was in the hospital was for a total hysterectomy. Many things went wrong and I was there for three weeks. My sister who lives in another city was worried, she thought maybe my husband was not telling her the truth, that I was probably dying. To her, three weeks in a hospital is only for very sick people. My husband came to my room with a camera, said my sister didn't believe him when he said I was doing OK so he wanted to send her a picture of me. I must've been under the influence of the morphine because I actually lifted my gown and let him take a picture. Just before he left I told him to tell my sister not to show the pic to anyone. He sent her the picture and told her that if she was going to show the pic to anyone, to charge at least $5 and split it with him. He is very lucky I didn't find out about this for a very long time.

    After having so many tests, most of us do not want to have anymore. The same with stays in the hospital. I think humor can help us go thru all of this. Maybe we sometimes get so angry because we are scared.

    Take care,
    Tere

    I so agree
    Hi Tere, I really do thing a big part of the this 'syndrome' is fear, like it is for a dog who has been abused, absolutely. Again depending on the level of medical intervention in kind and frequency I think they syndrome can be great and long lasting or fleeting. We all also have different pain level tolerances so that plays into whether or not we have experienced this as a significant problem as well. This posting to discuss this 'syndrome' is only to allow those of us who have felt this at one time or many to express ourselves and more importantly to feel validated that it's just not us who feels antsy at even the slightest suggestion of more tests. This posting is not to be negative about the cancer experience in its entirety but to mention even the less pallitable parts as well. You hear everyday of how brave and strong we cancer patients can be and that is very true but even the brave and strong have their weaker times too and I think it's important to be able to talk about all aspects of the experience as I mentioned in another recent post. I myself are very grateful for all the newest in medical breakthroughs and the many wonderful nurses and physicians and hospitals I have been in but keeping the subject all smiles and 'hang in there's, and 'you're so braves' needs to be balanced. At least that's what I feel the beauty of this site does, allows us to express ourselves openly on whatever part of the cancer experience is troubling us or we want to share at any given time. Chat spaces who edit out personal views, albeit as long as they are done politely and without malice, do us a great disservice. Thanks to CSN for giving us an honest platform.
  • nsquirrely
    nsquirrely Member Posts: 50
    blueroses said:

    I can imagin how horrid it was after all that time clear thanBAM
    I have been where you were when you found out it was back, but just for a few weeks, when they THOUGHT they found something then started throwing the word NHL recurrance around before they even knew what the heck it was. Put me into a major fearful state of any test or doctor or suggestion of ANYTHING while at the doctor, for me it turned out alright then but to tell you the truth now I still wonder what the heck those nodules are and is it just a precursor to recurrance? I never thought that way before, once I had treatment and it was gone it was gone and I didn't worry about it coming back but it's just been toooo much and even though I have been down with many side effects from my bone marrow transplant the possibility of fighting the BIG ONE again is so scarey and sets me growling like an abused dog whenever they come at me with any medical instrument or idea.

    Yup, it's necessary - you are right but still you have to be in control as some things might not be necessary (medical intervention I mean) and there are usually ways to make it easier for the patient and they have to be reminded of that sometimes, sometimes you have to fight to save yourself unnecessary grief. I remember before transplant they were going to do another bone marrow sample and that is very painful. I had had 2 before, both awful and so I said 'why the 3rd one?' 'You are going to do the transplant no matter what you find in the marrow, right? They said 'right' so I said 'why put me through that again then?' They said 'oh, okay'. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    I have fought for medications, anti nausea drugs, different easier procedures, suggested one specialist actually talking to one of my other ones to help me double up on surgeries for different things saving more anaesthetic - man you sure have to be well to be sick - so much strength you have to have when you are the weakest - standing up for yourself sometimes.

    Ya I can imagine the room coming down on you for not wanting to do whatever to help you medically but at the same time if they knew what it entailed to us who have had so much intervention they might think twice. But it's an automatic response to want to help someone who might be giving up and that's probably what they thought. It's not about giving up it's about having had ENOUGH.

    I agree that a lot of it is about wanting to feel normal again, after going through it all, and just the thought of it all over again is often too much to bear.

    Yup I do also, as most of us do I am sure, wonder about what happened to that person the way we used to be, granted I became a better person too though in many ways after the cancer experience. However I would be untruthfull if I said that I would choose this path to realization, if given a choice. Everything for a reason though I suppose.

    Like you said, it is never really over for many, well all actually, in one way or another I'm sure.

    I'm not sure I understand what you meant by 'something to consider'? You mean the idea that since it is neverending no wonder we feel abused? Could you clarify that please, thanks

    Abused Dog Syndrome
    I'm sorry it took me some time to get back to you with an answer. I just thought that we should consider the idea that feeling abused comes partly from the fact that it seems to be a neverending process in our lives once we have been dx with cancer.
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524

    Abused Dog Syndrome
    I'm sorry it took me some time to get back to you with an answer. I just thought that we should consider the idea that feeling abused comes partly from the fact that it seems to be a neverending process in our lives once we have been dx with cancer.

    For sure
    Hi, NS, If I could just jump in here for one second just wanted to add that I totally agree that this feeling of abuse does come directly, for most, from the constant barrage of tests and procedures that follows diagnosis. The constant repetition of pain and fear would make any person hesitant or terrified of the next painful event and so it goes on and on making one feel 'abused'. It can be a pattern for sure. Too I think we must consider not only the repetition causing this syndrome but even one horrendous procedure or news can produce the same thing. I often wonder how many cancer patients suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a condition mostly linked to war and accidents. How different is it to be traumatized by war within our own body? Hmmm, maybe that should be a new link. What does everyone think?
  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    blueroses said:

    I so agree
    Hi Tere, I really do thing a big part of the this 'syndrome' is fear, like it is for a dog who has been abused, absolutely. Again depending on the level of medical intervention in kind and frequency I think they syndrome can be great and long lasting or fleeting. We all also have different pain level tolerances so that plays into whether or not we have experienced this as a significant problem as well. This posting to discuss this 'syndrome' is only to allow those of us who have felt this at one time or many to express ourselves and more importantly to feel validated that it's just not us who feels antsy at even the slightest suggestion of more tests. This posting is not to be negative about the cancer experience in its entirety but to mention even the less pallitable parts as well. You hear everyday of how brave and strong we cancer patients can be and that is very true but even the brave and strong have their weaker times too and I think it's important to be able to talk about all aspects of the experience as I mentioned in another recent post. I myself are very grateful for all the newest in medical breakthroughs and the many wonderful nurses and physicians and hospitals I have been in but keeping the subject all smiles and 'hang in there's, and 'you're so braves' needs to be balanced. At least that's what I feel the beauty of this site does, allows us to express ourselves openly on whatever part of the cancer experience is troubling us or we want to share at any given time. Chat spaces who edit out personal views, albeit as long as they are done politely and without malice, do us a great disservice. Thanks to CSN for giving us an honest platform.

    And, I am so grateful...
    to CSN for investing the time and effort to making this site so user-friendly as to inspire this level of meaningful activity, much greater than with the previous incarnation of this site. This quality and frequency of dialogue serves a crucial need of cancer patients, at every stage of our disease, as well as their families. There is no greater healer than one who has been through Hell and back and is willing to share the wisdom learned through the experience.

    To CSN staff, I extend my gratitude.

    Rick
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    terato said:

    And, I am so grateful...
    to CSN for investing the time and effort to making this site so user-friendly as to inspire this level of meaningful activity, much greater than with the previous incarnation of this site. This quality and frequency of dialogue serves a crucial need of cancer patients, at every stage of our disease, as well as their families. There is no greater healer than one who has been through Hell and back and is willing to share the wisdom learned through the experience.

    To CSN staff, I extend my gratitude.

    Rick

    Here, here
    Ditto, Rick. Well said.