Feeling blue

TereB said:

I think your feelings are
I think your feelings are very normal for a cancer survivor. We all get scared, worry about the cancer coming back, about dying, etc. I went thru similar things some years back. I had psychotherapy and it really helped me very much because I was very, very depressed on top of everything else. These days I worry for about a week when I have to go for follow-ups, that's the time between tests and when I see my oncologist. Once I see the oncologist I put the whole thing out of my mind.

Many oncology or radiation depts. in hospitals have social workers who have experience treating cancer patients. A support group could help too.

Try to relax and not worry, easier said than done, I know. Take one day at a time and try to enjoy life. See the positive side; humor helps a lot too. The thing is that what works good for someone, might be different for someone else. I recommend therapy, doesn't have to be for a long time, because it really helped me come out of depression and I learned to calm myself and actually enjoy life.

It is ok to be depressed for a little way, just don't stay there.

All the best

zahalene said:

I'm gonna WHAT???
Confronting our mortality (thinking about our own death) is a part of 'growing up'. The thing is, most people get to go through that process at their own pace and in a time frame of choice. When we are told we have cancer (for instance), it's like....WHAMO. No adjustment time, no gradual acceptance, just "I'm gonna WHAT???". Not that cancer is an automatic death sentence by any means (22 year survivor here), but in spite of all the medical advances made in the field during our lifetime, some people do still die of cancer. And some get hit by mack trucks.
I think one of the most valuable lessons I have learned over the last 22 years is the wisdom in that old cliche...'It's not how you die that counts, but how you live'.
It is such a shame to allow death to encroach upon our lives. But it is human. So, I would encourage anyone to get whatever help needed to get this particular 'growth spurt' out of the way and get on with life. Whether it is therapy, religious counseling, or whatever works. Just do the thing and move on.

TereB said:

Sometimes we have fears,
Sometimes we have fears, depression, etc. and even though we do not want them, it is not as simple as saying, I am going to move on. Those are the times when we should seek help.

Check this short movie about cancer survivors: www.thesurvivormovie.com

Check this website for cancer survivors, they have a weekly newsletter, free, and it has good ideas/advise because the authors are cancer survivors. They even have a meditation room: www.TheCancerCrusade.com

If you decide to get some help, check these places:
Cancer Care, a non-profit org., offers free support and counseling for cancer patients by oncology social workers. They have face-to-face counseling and counceling on the phone. Support groups on the phone are available too and are moderated by an oncology social worker. Call 800-813-HOPE or check their website www.cancercare.org

Gilda's Club - www.gildasclub.org - they offer free social and emotional support.

Live Strong - www.livestrong.org - offers one-on-one support.

If you decide to have therapy, if you do not like the therapist, look for another one. Don't give up.

All the best,
Tere

slickwilly said:

feeling blue
Hi Eileen. Five years ago I was 48 years old and felt like I was 20. I had raced snowmobiles for 15 years at the professional level and worked in a State Prison with the worst of the worst prisoners. Camping out in -20 was an adventure. My 3 daughters were a harder challenge ha ha. But they turned out great! Then I was diagnosed with lymphoma in my face. Not in my lymph system where is should of been. Chop+Rituxin and 25 Radiation treatments put the cancer into remission. But the mental and physical damage was done by then. Since 2004 I have had 3 masses detected on film and it took a month each time to clear me. And all the anxiety you talk about comes to the surface. Night sweats or a new bump on my body just add more stress to the mix. To deal with my 7 physical problems I put each one into a seperate box in my brain. At least that is the way I think of it. I don't think of all of them at once because its too much to handle and puts me into a depression that is hard to climb out of. I stay around happy understanding people and don't waste my time with those that ask how your doing and turn away before you can answer. As limited as I am by physical problems I still try hard to help others. When I am busy helping others I forget about my own problems and the anxiety takes a backseat. Too much time alone leaves too much time to think. I love being around people. Young people with lots of promise and a bright future make me happy. On Thinking about death. Two long time friends of mine had cancer when I was fighting mine. One with prostate cancer and one with brain cancer. They both lost their fights but never gave up. Each day I have is a day they didn't have and I never forget that. Each day that I can have with my daughters is a blessing. They are all out of school now and that is what I asked God for when I had cancer. Just allow me to see my daughters graduate and become young women. And one just walked in the door with an Elephant Ear from the county fair for her me. Right now life does not get much better and I have been blessed. One day like this makes up for lots of bad days. Slickwilly

slickwilly said:

The Blues
Eileen. As cancer survivors we all get pretty sick of the phrase "forget about it and move on". When something has tried to take your life its pretty hard to do. And as much as our families try to understand all the issues its just not possible. The emotional and physical problems along with side effects from treatment are something only a cancer survivor understands. So the frustration builds inside us and the anxiety leads to depression. And then its a hard hole to climb out of. I don't think leaving cancer behind is possible so we learn to survive the rough times. I recently spent a night at a lighthouse on the lake Superior shoreline. At midnight I took a walk to the shore and started talking to the only couple awake within miles. It turned out to be a nurse and her husband who had survived cancer. I think I could land on the moon and an alien would come up who has had cancer. Sometimes I think God is trying to reel me back in to remind me to be the best person I can be. Anyway here is my e-mail address because I think you might like to talk more and I am a good listener. I do not judge people because that is up to a higher power than me. And I have a ton of goofy stories that might make you laugh. Slickwilly007@msn.com

terato said:

Talking, writing, and engaging!
My anxiety was so intense, that I would become nauseous when approaching the off-ramp on the way to my treatment center, even after I concluded my treatment protocol! I don't remember when I wasn't at least a little depressed. However, I did find that conversing with others about cancer, about anything really, helped pull my thoughts away from my fears. I also found that by writing "letters to the editor" and other things, I could move my focus away from my anxiety and on to something else. It was also helpful to get involved with issues affecting cancer, to become "empowered" and on the offensive. Health-care is a major issue in this political campaign and could probably use the testimony of those who have "been there". All of these powerful diversions have become easier since the advent of the internet.

I think the main thing here is to be good to yourself and not expect too much. We often become our own worst enemies when we expect too much too soon. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry, and sometimes the crying part needs to be much much longer.

Love and Courage!

Rick