Kent Cass ~ Gone Blog

Skiffin16
Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
edited March 2013 in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Not sure if you realize it or not... But apparently our long time brother has posted a Gone Message on his blog...

While I can understand, I really hate to see Kent go. He is one of the best, one that makes this site what it is...one that always reminds us to BELIEVE.

Has been interesting, and did me a lotta good thinking maybe I helped a person or two going thru H&N tx. Thinking it's time to be gone, now, and so it is.

Issues from my youth have been brought to the surface of recent, and the man I was at 14-16 is kinda taking over. That man is Butkus, Jr., and he's a cold and tough old coot...Woke up on a hospital bed around 10:AM on the morning of 11/18/68 to discover I'd been gone from the world since a car accident just before 6AM on the morning of 11/2/68. In the Freeport hospital from 11/2-12/23/68, when I got transferred to Rush-Presbyterian-St.Luke's in Chicago. Turned 14 years-old on 11/26/68 in the Freeport hospital. The mis-diagnosis of my throat injury and 5 Ops in Freeport were followed by another 3 in Chicago before I got to go home, and over the next two years would have to go back to St.Luke's for 1 or 2 Ops every two months- total of 23 Ops that left me with a 75% air passage at the larynx, and a lotta scars. In late December of 1970, Dr. Stanton A. Friedberg finally released me from his care, and life went on. "Now, life on my terms..."

Being "gone" for some 16 days and 4-hours, about all I've ever known about the accident is what I was told when I got back on the 18th of November. My Mom hit a small cement bridge with our 1963 Mercury Comet, my throat slammed against the dash, and my head slammed against the windshield. Dad told me he found my glasses on the engine, so my noggin' mighta cracked the windshield. Scars would suggest it by the glass cuts around my left eye and ear, the 4.2" scar on my forehead that still exists, and the two larger scars on the left side of my skull that were re-stitched so that the hair would grow back good. "Numerous concussions" was among the injury list. With so much going on, and my seeming to be mentally okay, the head injuries were never explored by the small town hospital in Freeport, Il., or any place else.

Always had trouble, socially, especially in crowds. Literally could not talk for around 16-months, the voice I was left with is one of a half-paralyzed voice box- the paralyzed half protrudes slightly into my windpipe. Always figured that was just the issue, but as I've grown older...

Alexithymia might be in play, and always has been. A lot is known, now, that wasn't back in 1968. Traumatic Brain Injury is regarded as "Severe", now, after loss of consciousness for 24-hours. Folks- I was gone for 16 days and 4-hours. My Dad, the only surviving family member I have, is of no help when I recently asked him- "Kent, all I can say is you had massive head injuries," is what he said. And so, I just keep taking-on one day at a time, on my terms, as I have since Doc released me.

I wish I could explain a lot of it to you, but I wish for a lotta things: I wish my High School Sweetheart hadn't died in her 1972 car accident, or that I hadn't been a drunken mess when Kimberly and I were together for those couple years, or that my current love interest, a blonde who works in the office where I work, wasn't married; or, that the scans and medical expertise existed back in 1968 to see there might be a problem for the long haul, and that I am not somewhat angry about that as the 58 year-old man I now am, and who is "not a people person," and whose body really has been on Operating tables 34 different times in those years. As I made like I was **** Butkus Jr. back from 11/68-12/70 when going thru those 23 Ops and 3 seperate events where I stared death in the face, and I would ask myself, "How would Butkus deal with this," the anger and "life on my terms" mindset has been back for some time, now, and looks like it's here to stay. 

I thank you all for the help you've been to me, and this venue that has allowed me to express myself as the man I really am over these past couple years. "Believe," which I've often written at the end of my posts, is to mean for you to Believe- 1) in yourself and your ability to make it thru the tx okay; 2) and that the Lord is with you on your tx journey; and 3) that your C med team will eliminate the C from your body. So, to all...

Believe

kcass

Please give Kent a shout out and let him know how much he is appreciated and bid him your best...

John

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Comments

  • staceya
    staceya Member Posts: 720
    Don't be gone...I still need to hear your words.

    What is the best way to get this message to Kent?

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    Well....&*%$

    Kent's "BELIEVE" message the first night I joined this forum, and his messages during my treatment brought me SO much comfort....gave me the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I remember the 2nd or 3rd night I was on here, I wanted to reach out and hug him, as my fear disipated, and my fight started to kick in. 

    Stacey, I think we can write on his blog....that's the only way I can think of to get a message to him.

  • D Lewis
    D Lewis Member Posts: 1,581 Member
    Still believin

    Kent - you'll be leaving a really big hole behind, if you do go.  You were one of the first who came forward to support and guide me through this process.  I have been believing ever since Pam M said "This is doable"... StevenL said "Follow my tracks"... and you first said "Believe!" Wow, buddy, I'm really going to miss you. Do you really have to do this?

    Deb (who Can't Stop Believin!)

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,722 Member
    life is weird

    Kent,

     

    You were the spark that jumpstarted me into trying a BIG DOG w/mustard (I was walking in your steps).

     

    My life took a crazy twist with cancer and another twist tonight with your story.

     

    Find peace brother, you have helped things here

     

    Matt

  • Billie67
    Billie67 Member Posts: 898
    CivilMatt said:

    life is weird

    Kent,

     

    You were the spark that jumpstarted me into trying a BIG DOG w/mustard (I was walking in your steps).

     

    My life took a crazy twist with cancer and another twist tonight with your story.

     

    Find peace brother, you have helped things here

     

    Matt

    Kent
    I'm sorry for what troubles you and I hope all you need is a tiny little break. You have been so helpful to so many that it will be a terrible shame if you don't come back. I hope you see this message and read especially to the end as the end of all of yours helped me. I even got a little wooden sign for a shelf in my home with the oh so powerful word....Believe! when I bought the sign I did so because your "Believe" came to me as soon as I saw it.
    So with that being said, Believe you are cherished, believe you are valued, believe you are needed and believe you make a difference.
    BELIEVE!
    Billie
  • vermontgirl
    vermontgirl Member Posts: 66
    Sad

    Is it weird that I kind of feel like my parents are divorcing.  You have all been there as a source of comfort, support, advice, suggestions, and guidance at every step.  Kent, you have provided such relief when I have posted with concerns or questions.  I respect your decision to part ways.....but wonder is there another place that accepts all the abnormal differences that exist in each of us as much as this board?  I just want you to know....no judgements here.....just gratitude acceptance.  I hope it is just a short break before I see your BELIEVE again.

     

     Kirsten

  • longtermsurvivor
    longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,842 Member
    Dumb me

    When I first saw the picture on Kent's avatar I remember thinking "wow, this guy looks just like **** Butkus."  It took me months to realize that wasn't really Kent.  Good blog, wish Kent the best.

     

    No regrets

    Pat

  • KTeacher
    KTeacher Member Posts: 1,103
    A Break

    Hopefully only a break and you will miss us.  So sorry for the issues with the accident in your teens.  You have been so helpful and supportive through many peoples journeys.  Please stop by and say hi from time to time.

  • tommyodavey
    tommyodavey Member Posts: 726 Member
    KTeacher said:

    A Break

    Hopefully only a break and you will miss us.  So sorry for the issues with the accident in your teens.  You have been so helpful and supportive through many peoples journeys.  Please stop by and say hi from time to time.

    Long Break

    Wow,

    I haven't logged in here for months and now I read this?  Maybe you need a break from reading all the C stories here and I don't blame you one bit.  It got a bit depressing to me so I took a long break.

    Hopefully your curiosity will prevail and you'll peek in and read all these messages from all your cyber friends.

    Just touch base once in awhile so we all know you're okay, okay?

     

    Tom

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member

    Dumb me

    When I first saw the picture on Kent's avatar I remember thinking "wow, this guy looks just like **** Butkus."  It took me months to realize that wasn't really Kent.  Good blog, wish Kent the best.

     

    No regrets

    Pat

    LOL..

    I never have admitted it, but I thought the same thing.... Then kept my mouth shut once I realized my mistake...

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    KTeacher said:

    A Break

    Hopefully only a break and you will miss us.  So sorry for the issues with the accident in your teens.  You have been so helpful and supportive through many peoples journeys.  Please stop by and say hi from time to time.

    Kent

    I will truly miss Kent. I do understand that there comes a point where a person needs to move on and I pray for good things to come his way. Hopefully, he goes forward knowing how he touched and helped so many of us. Hugs to our friend who will always share a special bond and hold a special place in our hearts. Believe!  

  • Grandmax4
    Grandmax4 Member Posts: 723
    I believe

    for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows

    I believe that somewhere in the darkest night, a candle glows~~~

    Dear Kent, your words of wisdon,hope , and knowledge will be missed, your "I Believe" will live on in our hearts

    Your story touched my heart, being a teen is so difficult and to face and brave through what you did is amazing~~I believe truly maturity is reached when we look at other people and not a single judgmental thought enters our mind

    Thank you for your kind words to me and to all on CNS..please keep BELIEVING

  • CajunEagle
    CajunEagle Member Posts: 408
    Hang in there, brother.

     Hope to see you back on here soon (even though I'm a not on here much anymore).  Not to say that you sound depressed, but if I had to live in Illinois, with Winter continuing to hang around, I'd be pretty much bonkers by now.  Hope your golf swing gets back in shape and putts continue to fall this Summer.  And.....just smile.

    Larry

  • michdjp
    michdjp Member Posts: 220
    Best wishes

    I wish you all the best and hope and pray you find peace with all you have survived.  You have certainly encouraged so many others and did so once more in your last message.  That is a very inspiring story to have lived through.  my brother was hit by a car at 14 years old and was also in a coma for some time..he broke his growth plate and was in traction for 6 weeks.  This going back 20 years ago.  Anyway you are an amazing survivor and have helped so many of us get thru our days.  Thank you.

    michelle

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    Kent, i wish you the very

    Kent, i wish you the very best in everything you do and in life.  Thank you for all your encouraging  posts.

    God bless,

    debbiejeanne

  • Greg53
    Greg53 Member Posts: 849

    Kent, i wish you the very

    Kent, i wish you the very best in everything you do and in life.  Thank you for all your encouraging  posts.

    God bless,

    debbiejeanne

    Kent

    Bud,

     

    I use that term with all sincerity Kent.  You've inspired a lot of folks on here with your now famous catchword, but more importantly you've been there for everyone when their backs were up against the wall.   BUT to me you're just an old Friend on here, which to me is something even more important.  Do what you need to do sir, but remember we're here if you ever want to stop and say Hey.

     

    Sending you my Best Kent!

     

    Greg

  • fishmanpa
    fishmanpa Member Posts: 1,227 Member
    I wish you well

    Kent,

    I didn't have the pleasure of getting to know you as I've not been on this site that long. From reading the replies of others, it's obvious how much of a positive influence you were to many. 

    Having been a part of a few internet forums, I understand that sometimes the time comes to move on. I wish in some way I could offer the appropriate words of encouragement. Reading your words impressed upon me a man who is in distress due to life events beyond your control. It's my hope and prayer that you find peace and resoluton. It's my hope and prayer that whatever pain you're feeling both physically and mentally is resolved. 

    I can only "believe" that you will find peace on your future journey.

    Positive thoughts and prayers.

    "T"

     

  • osmotar
    osmotar Member Posts: 1,006
    Bye

    I don't like good bye, sounds so final, so Kent while we didn't chat much, I always enjoyed reading your post, and that when the time is right you find your way back to us...so for now bye, be safe , be well...Believe.

    linda

  • Jan Trinks
    Jan Trinks Member Posts: 477
    Sorry to see you go

    Kent:

     

    So sorry to see you go, but understand.  Thanks so much for all your encouragement and kind words.  Charlie will be gone 3 years this August and it's still hard for me but I do go on as I have no choice and that is what he would want me to do. !   I hope you come back when you feel it's the right time.  Personally for me, this site is an outlet for  although I'm not on it as much as I used to be and it does give me the feeling that I'm giving back somewhat hopefully!  So good luck and God be with you and give us a holler every now and then.

     

    Jan (Basketcase)

  • hawk711
    hawk711 Member Posts: 566
    Kent

    I bet you are moving to Iowa, aren't you?   PM me once in awhile.  You have been a good friend for a long time.  I appreciate you bud.  Enjoy each day Kent.

    all the best

    Steve