"The REPURPOSING of Our Lives In and Out of the Cancer World” - The Concept That Evolved Into an Ide

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Comments

  • YoVita
    YoVita Member Posts: 590 Member
    Very simply

    Thank you.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    Oh My Goodness

    I'm taking some time off the boards, but saw your post and wanted to let you know you are being thought of.  You, my friend, have a way with words and I've always told you that.  Can see why this was something near and dear to your heart especially after all you went through and the path and courage that you have taken on this site and in your life.  You have been through much "Lion" and you totally roar with awesomeness (oh is that a word Laughing)  Glad you have the Lion picture up again.  It serves you "perfectly".

    Kim

  • amcp
    amcp Member Posts: 251 Member
    So thankful for you and your ability to paint with words

    I seldom post any more.  Frank passed on 11/15/10 and life has carried on.  I still check randomly to see how the few I remember from those times are doing.  I especially look for you and of course Buzzard.  I am so excited and happy to see you today when I came to the board to check.  You always say what I feel but do not have the ability to express.  You are a gift to anyone and everyone that visits this board.  You strength, courage, understandlng, love, concern, and the ability to give hope are much needed by caregivers and those who are dealing with cancer.  Cancer does teach us valuable lessons and gives us the chance to really live with no pretense.  I pray for you and that your journey be better and brighter each step of the way.  Thanks again  for posting, it made my day.

    Anna

  • bailee2012
    bailee2012 Member Posts: 60
    inspiring others

    just wanted to let you know that you are reaching people outside of this site!  i was on colonchat.net and someone on there had copied this onto that sight and called it "inspiring".  congratulations and keep up the great work!!

  • So Worried
    So Worried Member Posts: 111 Member

    inspiring others

    just wanted to let you know that you are reaching people outside of this site!  i was on colonchat.net and someone on there had copied this onto that sight and called it "inspiring".  congratulations and keep up the great work!!

    Bailee2012

    That was me in colonchat.net calling it inspiring :) 

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    PhillieG said:

    Good Post

    “I” have to be the one that puts the meaning back in my life…and here’s how I’m doing it…

     

    As Joseph Campbell* said "Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning."

    A very thought provoking post Craig. We all find our purpose I believe or at least we're given a chance to reflect on things. Whether we do that is up to us.

    *Joseph Campbell ~ the Other JC

    After a Lifetime of Reflection, Phil...

    I agree with you:)

    And here I was, thinking I was coming up with all of this new $hit...and "Joe" has beaten me to the punch...once again:)

    LOL!

    Oh well,  perhaps then, it is "The Newness" in our own discoveries of the Discovery - that we can see and appreciate through another's eyes - if by happenstance, we've already stumbled on it as well. 

    Thank you for the compliment, Phil...I'm glad you enjoyed the post.  Always good to see you.

     In carrying forward your thought of "Has Cancer been ALL Bad..." those thoughts have stayed with me ever since you introduced them.

    As you can see, I'm trying to see through - and past it all...your idea that cancer was not ALL bad was still one of the most thought provoking thoughts I've ever read...still resonates with me to this very day..a part of you should have come through loud and clear...that was a part of PhillieG rining in those ears...still so important, it stays in my book...until that thumbdrive find the light of day...

    Thanks for stopping by to see me, Phil.

    -Craig

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Varmint5 said:

    On second thought...

    Craig,

    I re-read my reply and I don't like how it sounds. I think it sounds different from what I was trying to say. I think you need a broader audience for your writing besides just here, like a blog. You are very good and have a lot to say. I hope it keeps coming for us, here, but it is blog or book-worthy. Maybe you already know that. For me, your story is so full of hope and promise. I know it's been a hard one to live. But you are still here after 8 years and that is simply amazing, considering all you've had to conquer during that time. You are fearless. You help me believe that anything is possible.

    And I still think you have so much to offer a kid or a child as a mentor or big brother... SO much. Your story just lit up when you spoke of your niece.

    Thanks again for sharing your heartfelt and moving story of repurposing.

    Sandy

    Dear Sandy

    I thought about what you said this weekend...

    Somtimes, I can be a lot to swallow on the first chew:)   LOL!

    I appreciate your kind and thoughtful comments...I can tell you that you thought about it...and you felt it....I may have caught you on the first day when you were 'blah.'  But, I still got what you were saying...your follow-up was very heartfelt.

    And here's where I'm at...you will be able to wholdheartedly connect with this...

    After a literal lifetime of 'searching' for my family - and what my definition of what I thought that family was...

    The blood family I was born to, no longer exists...but on my wife's side, I have found my new family in the form of LMS, my newphew and his wife.  I found that back in July at the funeral...you might have missed those threads...listed under The Sundance Channel....some good non-cancer stories. 

    So, as you can see, I love my new little girl...and my nephew grew up without a dad...and his dad (still living) is not supportive to him...I think his wife needs me now...she's my new Chicky...I can give her a look with my eyes...and she knows what I'm saying and what to do...and vice versa, she can look at me, same thing....too cool! 

    And little miss honey pie...she called me over the weekend, Sandy..."Uncle Craig, when are you coming?  I love you." 

    The kids, since our emotional visits in that detached garage, have called and told me repeatedly that they want me...they are trying to find a house, they want us to move up there...

    Lifes were changed in that garage those nights...in those posts I told you about, are the stories...it was life changing - and life affirming for all of us...my wife missed all of it, because she stayed with her sister...and I stayed with the kids...they hung on me like glue.

    And not only do I think they need me...I need them.

    And Sandy...they WANT ME. 

    My dad turned his back on his family...and after this post, you can see how I'm not going to make the same mistake twice.  I'm giving myself to my family first....after trying so hard to find one...and then whatever doors open for me, I'll be receptive enough to walk through them. 

    I appreciate this very introspective post and your very thoughtful comments! 

    I'm Repurposed now - to help Repurpose others...

    Big hugs!

    -Craig

     

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    Wow...just Wow....

    I am fairly new so I am not lucky enough to be one of your longtime friends here. You sure are a wonderful, caring, intelligent, wise, strong..(I could go on and on) person. I do believe this is one of my favorite "articles/ posts/ blogs/ short stories" I have ever read in my life. I am going to re-read it over and over again. It was so good and I did not want it to ever end. 

    I am not a patient but a caregiver. This gives me a lot to think about from the patient's veiewpoint on things. It was really great. I just can't say that enough. I think we are all here for a purpose. I'm your age and I still do not know my purpose. I walk around in a fog since June of last summer. My thoughts swirl around and around in my head like I'm going crazy. You have given me the inspiration and drive to find my purpose. Thank you. 

    I was very shocked and saddened to hear of your sister. I send my deepest condolences. I am very sorry she is no longer with you and I know she would be very proud of you. 

    I wish you many, many years of more wonderful times and precious memories with LMS. I also wish you true happiness in your marriage. 

    Thank you for the wonderful post.

    SW - We Were Friends When We Said Hello...

    And then when you shared this post, we definitely were.  Thank you so much for your thoughts and feelings...very sincere and moving.  I knew it was very long...but it all needed to be said...and I knew it would be very readable and not a chore to wade through...it flowed nicely.

    I'm glad you were so moved and motivated into action...this post is helping to reinforce this belief that I came to.  And I'm glad I was able to let you inside the mind of a cancer patient to tell you things that your person might not reveal to you...or is unable to reveal of themselves. 

    That's what I'm here for...

    Sis would have probably been proud and happy for me...if you like me...you would have loved her....it took me a lifetime to figure out...she had her act together so early in life...she would have been 45 about now....and I miss her more now than ever....I treasured the Brother/Sister relationship...and it makes me mad when I see other situations where both parties don't realize the blessing that they have in one another.

    Your welcome for the post and I'm glad it  has helped you.

    Now, aren't you glad you stopped by to see me?

    Big hugs!

    -Craig

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Dxed said:

    Craig
     
    You’ve always been a

    Craig

     

    You’ve always been a soothing guiding voice and a great help before having painted this one. As for this one, I am at a loss for the right words, being no painter with words. Tough read though it is, it nevertheless is a soul-searching piece, spirit lifting and clear roadmap for a better life (with/out) this kind of disease . I cannot find a better response across the Arabian sands but to send you the words of Wordsworth’s (words worth?) Solitary Reaper

    No Nightingale did ever chaunt

    More welcome notes to weary bands

    Of travellers in some shady haunt

    Among Arabian sands

     

    Bless your soul

     

    Sander

    Hey Sander

    True to your word...you came back!

    I love a person I can count on, someone whose word is their bond...good for you, Brother!

    I appreciate you taking your time to read and respond to my thoughts...I got the paint all over me this time...LOL!

    Knowing that you see what I was trying to describe...well, that just means everything to me...as connection is everything to me.

    Bless you x 2!

    -Craig

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    ron50 said:

    G'day Craig
    I am a self confessed accidental tourist of cancer. For fifteen years I have toured the land of cancer. Liking what I find sometimes,sometimes not. I have met so many people in my travels,be they actual or in cyberspace. My emotions have ranged from "Ï love this person"to "give me a break,go and annoy someone else". But I listened to them all. Some of the experiences have left me feeling sad and lost,others uplifted. Some I acknowledge as kindred soles. Some have described me as inspirational,I can't see it,in fact I see more inspiration in them. What is my purpose? I guess to accidentally go where no man has gone before. What does that mean ,dunno but I always liked the beginning of Star trek.
    Have I forgotten cancer . No . It reminds me every day that it was part of my life but I really have learned to live with its effects.
    Today on my tourist wanderings I have once more visited the mind of Craig. It is a beautiful mind,an enquiring mind that will always strive to answer all of the questions. My mind is not beautiful . It is a logical accepting mind. It does not ask the questions that Craigs does but it loves to read the journey of his and all of your minds . Thank you all for letting me visit....Ron.

    "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?" (For Ron50)

    Hey Buddy,

    We're all just wired for different wave lengths, Ron. 

    You're beautiful to me, Ron...look at your last paragraph...there is alot of beauty in those thoughts...

    "Today on my tourist wanderings I have once more visited the mind of Craig. It is a beautiful mind,an enquiring mind that will always strive to answer all of the questions. My mind is not beautiful . It is a logical accepting mind. It does not ask the questions that Craigs does but it loves to read the journey of his and all of your minds . Thank you all for letting me visit."

    It's insightful what you said about me...'striving to answer all the questions...'

    Here's a funny story, Ron...

    When I was 2 years old, legend has it that I was in the doctors's office with the doctor responsible for bringing me into this world...(you can blame him for me being here, LOL!)

    Inquisitive was a good word, Ron.  On this doctor visit, I was jabbering so much that morning, that I had befuddled the poor doctor...

    Apparently, my theme for that day was "Why?"

    LOL!

    Exasperated... Dr. G. turned to my dad and said..."Sir, your son has more questions - than answers."

    LOL! LOL! LOL!

    49 more years past that date...and it looks like very little has changed:)

    LOL!

    Thanks once again for your kind thoughts, Ron...I'll keep talking...if you keep listening - Deal?

    -Craig

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    amcp said:

    So thankful for you and your ability to paint with words

    I seldom post any more.  Frank passed on 11/15/10 and life has carried on.  I still check randomly to see how the few I remember from those times are doing.  I especially look for you and of course Buzzard.  I am so excited and happy to see you today when I came to the board to check.  You always say what I feel but do not have the ability to express.  You are a gift to anyone and everyone that visits this board.  You strength, courage, understandlng, love, concern, and the ability to give hope are much needed by caregivers and those who are dealing with cancer.  Cancer does teach us valuable lessons and gives us the chance to really live with no pretense.  I pray for you and that your journey be better and brighter each step of the way.  Thanks again  for posting, it made my day.

    Anna

    Hi Anna P!

    You always make my day when I see you!  I hope things are going well in your new life now...I know you told me you remarried...but I know you still yearn for Frank.

    I think things are finally going to turn around for me now, Anna...I really do.

    If I can find the guts, I may just tell you about something unexpected that happened after this post...from seeds planted a few weeks earlier. 

    I don't want to get your hopes up...I may chicken out...but if I decide to throw it to the wind, I hope you see it. 

    I try and  talk about Cancer so that we won't just go insane...I try and see as much good...or as much repurpose as I can from such a life-changing event. 

    I think these words are so good...I think they help so much...but I've got to believe that, Anna...I can't cure...but I like to try and help heal.

    When someone like you loses their loved ones...I always feel that my words just lose their meaning - right there at the end.  I cling to them like you used to...and that of so many others...and then when I see the person fall...I think what was that all about.

    And yet had I not reached, I feel your journey would have been more hollow...just the thought that someone sees you and your sorrow...as opposed to never looking inside of the you that makes you Anna, you know what I mean, darlin'?

    I treasure you...and you are highly valued in my life...and while we don't walk together everyday anymore...Anna and Frank still walk with me...they are still right there in my heart never to be forgotten...and I'm proud of the time that I walked with you.  Your story of Frank and the Santa Craig cd still bring tears to my eyes...because you told me that lone act made such a difference for you both.

    And I guess those things are why I continue to try and get up everyday and embrace the challenges that await me for the day.

    Love and big hugs, Anna!

    An old friend,

    -Craig

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    inspiring others

    just wanted to let you know that you are reaching people outside of this site!  i was on colonchat.net and someone on there had copied this onto that sight and called it "inspiring".  congratulations and keep up the great work!!

    Hey B!

    Wow!

    They are probably over there going, WTF!

    LOL!

    Anyway, thank you so much, Bailee...I appreciate your sentiments and I'll keep trying:)

     

  • k1
    k1 Member Posts: 220 Member
    your post

    Reading your post about your repurposed barn space brought back such memories of childhood for me, specifically climbing up into a loft space with a tin roof and listening to the rain drops hit one by one. all alone in my secret space, the pleasant smell of rain and and a vision of the world blurred by raindrops, holding out my hand or sticking out my tongue to catch a few of them onto my body.  I do not know how I could find that special place/space again as an adult in my life, but your post sure has me thinking about finding one.  We have such little rain here where we both live, I do often remember to stick out my tongue and catch a few drops when it finally rains, and that is a tiny temporal space, but I do not have an actual physical one.  Thank you for the reminder.

    K1

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    k1 said:

    your post

    Reading your post about your repurposed barn space brought back such memories of childhood for me, specifically climbing up into a loft space with a tin roof and listening to the rain drops hit one by one. all alone in my secret space, the pleasant smell of rain and and a vision of the world blurred by raindrops, holding out my hand or sticking out my tongue to catch a few of them onto my body.  I do not know how I could find that special place/space again as an adult in my life, but your post sure has me thinking about finding one.  We have such little rain here where we both live, I do often remember to stick out my tongue and catch a few drops when it finally rains, and that is a tiny temporal space, but I do not have an actual physical one.  Thank you for the reminder.

    K1

    Hi Special K:)

    Wonderful reply!

    Yes, I finally had to have a space that wasn't contained in the house...I've lived behind 4-walls for the whole 9 yrs really...

    The 4-physical walls of my job, my house, my auto...and the 4-physical walls inside my hand that caged this free spirit of mine...

    What's funny, is that the Simple Thing, the Simple Meaning, that I've been searching for...was with me all along...

    I had just forgotten where to look...Repurposing that life space now gives me my own lifeline away from the world...I'm still tethered like a spaceman walking outside of his space capsule...but I've got freedom to move around...to think again...to just look around...to just experience all that I've worked for and fought for.

    It's simple...but the barn is like a great big time capsule...it takes you back to a time when the world was better and the pace was slower...when you unplug, then life can come to you at its own pace. 

    I guess for a girl...it would be like that big dollhouse you always wanted...and for the guys, it's a fort or a treehouse...all I know is that Peace, Tranquility, and Contentment all live down there with me...they don't pay any rent, LOL!   But, they are pretty cool houseguests...and they clean up after themselves:)

    If I ever finish it out, it will serve me all year round...instead of the cool months...as you know, K...heat is brutal and temps out in the barn are over 120 degrees...off the scale of the therm actually....

    But, the times I would always relish anyway, are those spring days or cool days...I throw open the swinging doors....the front door...and open up the windows...and the air rushes in and it feels like I'm playing house out there or something.

    Just the other night, my wife went out with a friend...I cleaned up and me and Harley went down there for the next 7-hours!  We saw the afternoon turn to dusk...and the dusk turn to darkness.  I fired up a Tiki torch and it felt like I had a campfire going outside. 

    It was 48 degrees in the barn, so I pulled out an electric heater and it warmed my legs like sitting next to a fire...and I was never happier in my life. 

    I repurposed an old tape recorder of my dad's...stuck some batteries in it...found some old Star Trek and Space 1999 tapes...and hit play....many of the tapes broke right away, they are 37 years old....but the ones that still played...

    I sat out there wandering around...playing with Harley...sitting in my chair in the barn...and the tapes were like Time Travel...they took me back to a time when I was about 13 or 14...

    I turned on my battery operated Coleman lantern...and it felt like I was CAMPING or something...it was a freedom...so simple...with old technology...and it was the greatest!

    "Sometimes Happiness is Where You Least Expect to Find It..."

    I hope you find yours, K!

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Chelsea71 said:

    Craig, I've had a very
    Craig,

    I've had a very stressful and upsetting 24 hrs. I logged on this aft. for the first time today and there was a gift waiting for me. A gift from you. You may as well have wrapped it and placed a big bow on top. It's almost like you thought, "Hmm...when will Chels need this the most".

    I read it at the coffee shop at the Ottawa General Hospital. Steve's situation has evolved over the past few days and hours. It's all become quite complicated. I find myself experiencing a wide range of emotions. I'm extremely frightened, worried and sad, but I'm having other thoughts too that make me feel guilty. Defense mechanisms kicking in to help me cope with all that's happening. I'm down here because I need a break from him. He's understandably irritable, he's in pain and it's difficult for me to be with him
    right now.

    I don't really know what to say. I read your post. I was so engrossed that Ifound myself to be oblivious to the noise and hustle and bustle that
    surrounds me. I even forgot to drink my coffee and now it's cold, dammit.
    You're very talented. You have a gift. After I had finished reading it, I felt
    like I had changed in some way.

    Like those above me, I especially appreciated and related to the section
    about LMS. Steve and I (no kids of our own) have a LMS, as well. Our niece, Emma and she is my bright spot. She is five and she lights up the room with
    her presence. When I feel down in the dumps, I will think of her and realize that no matter what happens, everything will be okay.

    Before reading your post, I wanted to leave the hospital, hop in my car and drive far away. I wanted to drive and drive as far away from this life as I could get. Because of your post I now have the motivation, strength and
    desire to go back up to the fifth floor and be the best wife and caregiver that
    I can be. That is what Steve deserves.

    Your post has inspired me to repurpose my own life. I have experienced so much throughout this painful journey and I plan to look for opportunity to help others benefit from what I've learned.


    Thank you,

    Chels

    Sundance & Punxatawney Phil...

    "Seers of Seers...and... Prognisticators of Progosticators"   Cool

    LOL! LOL! LOL!

    Dearest Chels,

    I've read many posts in my day, but yours hit me square where I live - my heart! 

    You talk about 'getting it.'  Well, you sure do! 

    Now, here's another story that might make the hair on the back of your neck stand up...but in a good way:)

    So, I didn't think I was going to finish the post last Friday...I had a couple of sections left...and then all the editing...I didn't want to rush it, because I thought it might be one of the last pieces I write here and I wanted it to be nice.  I was figuring on about Tuesday or Wednesday of the following week.

    But, something was nagging at me to finish it...something told me that folks would have more time and be able to more fully absorb this post on the weekend, rather than during the busy week that we all face...with jobs or without...with cancer...or without. 

    So, I worked through my lunch...and then decided to stay late after work to finish the doc up...I was talking to Marie as I was about to finally leave. 

    And look what happened!

    Here's another funny story...

    I got tickled when you said you were "Engrossed" with reading...I know just what you mean...the exact feeling...my wife had a friend in out of town and they were out for the evening...I was still strung pretty high from writing that post...and just needed to read it a couple of more times and read the responses that had come in.

    I had the movie Donnie Brasco playing in the background, sort of as "white noise."  But, I was so engrossed, that I muted the volume so I could concentrate...

    Time must have just flown by...they returned home and I still had my head buried in the crt screen...my wife goes "What's That?"  And I turned around and there on tv was one of those "After Dark" specials with a couple of folks on there just "wearin' it out."  If you know what I mean?  LOL! LOL! LOL!

    20 years ago would I have missed that?  LOL!  That's how engrossed I was - I totally get that. I'm sorry your coffee went cold...but I was on fire, right? LOL!

    Let's look at what happened...

    "Chelsea71" was checking out...and I mean in a big way...the whole essence of who and what you are was runnin'.  I've seen it in my wife, I know what it looks like...and I know what it sounds like too.  And so, we had some type of intervention that morning in the coffee shop...when I was joking around me about being the Skipper and heading you safely back towards shore...I hinted that you would be changed and different leaving - than you were when you arrived.

    You solidified that feeling in me...if only one gets it, then mission accomplished...we can't save everyone...but I've got my hand out to the ones that want to try with me.   

    And look at you!  Now, you want to 'pay it forward' too...it's clear to me that you got every single word I wrote...I'm just so proud of you!

    The GIFT was in our exchange...that's where the magic took place, Chels:) 

    And to an even larger extent....both of our healing...or at least the path towards healing...

    And we did that together...wasn't it great?

    Repurpose was a principle that we put into action - and it yielded the results of what I thought it could do if we adopted that belief.  It has universal applications to everything in our lives. 

    "We bypassed FDA approval - we skipped the Clinical Trials - and moved straight to Human Trials - we injected the Repurpose vaccine - and we experienced 100% positive response to that treatment. "

    Chels, does it really get any better than this?

    I showed your reply to the Lord...and I was wiping the tears out of my eyes, I told him, "See, a real difference has been made here...look what my Chels wrote..."

    I've been in discussions with Him on why if I can help...why can't I help with the book deal or something? 

    Until, they call my number, I still want to stay here and try and help as many as I can.

    You filled me up with so much Hope, Chels!  I write for you guys - I bleed for you guys!  I just love it when a real difference has been made.

    Pay It Forward, Darlin's...I'm counting on you:)

    And listen, strangely, I somehow feel like Steve is going to get better...at least much better than where he has been....some of that pain is going to go away...some normalcy will return...give him my love and tell him Hi for me. 

    I'm glad to be with you at this point in your life - thank you for allowing me in to get to know you:)

    -Craig

     

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Lorikat said:

    Children..

    Craig..  I gave birth to two children and haveclaimed a and been claimed by many more.  Why?  I gave them a soft place to land and an ear to listen.  ALL of my "children" are important and take up space in my heart.  Just as Your niece will do for you..  Be her soft place to land....her person to listen as she grows up...and she can be your "reason" .....PS some of my "children" are heading toward 40 years old and STILL need that unconditional soft place on occasion...

    Awesome writing ....  You have a true talent, not only for writing but for sharing your heart....  Thank you

    Thank You, Lori!

    Nice to see you again!  Thank you so much.

    If I opened a post like this on your side of the house - I'd melt the wires to the place...Martha wouldn't know what to do with me:)

    LOL!

    That's why they bury me here:)

    My little grand niece is "My Last Train to Clarksville..."  I'm going to draw a line in the sand with her and do what I can, while I can.

    Love/C

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member

    Craig

    Craig,

    You're a gem, a brilliant wonderful gem.  Thank you for sharing your words, so filled with deep thought and insight.  I love how you describe your time with LMS!  Oh how very precious to see the world throught the wonderful eyes of a child.  I also love your description of your barn.  When **** and I moved into our house we built a lava rock wall around our carport and made it part of the backyard.  We now call it our lanai and have two tables, a tiki bar, our washer and dryer a couch, coffee table and two chairs, lots of flowers..... you get the picture.. it's all what you do with it.

    Thank you for sharing.  I too have learned so much from all of you.

     

    Take care my friend.

     

    Aloha,

    Kathleen

    Mahalo Nui Loa

    I'm so glad to see you again!!!

    I'm glad you got to read this post and enjoyed it.  Many of the sections have resonated differently with so many people, it's been interesting to see what touches one from another...

    I'll never have the view that you have...but the view I'll have in the barn now, will get me where I need to go...I've got imagination...and I've spun webs with it for many years to keep me grounded and strong in this world.

    "What you make it" as you say...yes indeed.

    LMS is my little girl now...only I haven't told the parents, LOL!

    It was such a rush, Kathleen...such an innocent and trusting soul...I thought how could I let her down.  She trusts me...and it took a few days to 'earn' that trust...but what a payoff!  I soooo understand now...and so glad that those unresolved feelings have been mitigated now.

    I can now enjoy mine...yours...everybody's...thank goodness!

    If my spirit ever gets to the Islands, I'll call you and ****....that way, you'll know I'm there and not to answer the door! LOL!

    I've been not too many places in my life...that's our dream trip...and if I get there, I will indeed look you and **** up....

    Big hugs!

    -c

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Phil64 said:

    Wow - Thank you Craig

    I started reading aloud to my wife. And when my tears stopped me from reading she took the helm. And when she was moved to tears I was able to continue. So we made it through the first reading and your insights have touched both of our hearts. And I know I want to read it again! I personally testify that I have felt this repurposing churning away inside of me and your heartfelt gift to us had helped me see inside my own heart more clearly. And given me words to talk about it more clearly. To make sense of it for me in a way that I can make sense to others. And this passage has helped me see the blessing I have in my wife, and family, and friends. The love that surrounds me is a true blessing / gift that I must nurtur and grow! To be continued... Thank you again, from both Connie and me!!! And may you be inspired with countless words and inspiration! So you can continue to paint your masterpieces! God Bless you my Brother! Phil

    Mr. Phil....

    I'm so glad that you enjoyed this piece I wrote!  I can see the profound changes in you already.  I like that you and Connie "Tag-Teamed" it...

    I told my honey pies here that with me...."It Takes a Village..."

    Apparently, just to read and get though my posts, LOL!!!

    Cynthia used to read mine to Rick...he'd turn the tv off and listen to her...what an honor!

    Rock on, Phil!

    -c

  • Chelsea71
    Chelsea71 Member Posts: 1,169 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Sundance & Punxatawney Phil...

    "Seers of Seers...and... Prognisticators of Progosticators"   Cool

    LOL! LOL! LOL!

    Dearest Chels,

    I've read many posts in my day, but yours hit me square where I live - my heart! 

    You talk about 'getting it.'  Well, you sure do! 

    Now, here's another story that might make the hair on the back of your neck stand up...but in a good way:)

    So, I didn't think I was going to finish the post last Friday...I had a couple of sections left...and then all the editing...I didn't want to rush it, because I thought it might be one of the last pieces I write here and I wanted it to be nice.  I was figuring on about Tuesday or Wednesday of the following week.

    But, something was nagging at me to finish it...something told me that folks would have more time and be able to more fully absorb this post on the weekend, rather than during the busy week that we all face...with jobs or without...with cancer...or without. 

    So, I worked through my lunch...and then decided to stay late after work to finish the doc up...I was talking to Marie as I was about to finally leave. 

    And look what happened!

    Here's another funny story...

    I got tickled when you said you were "Engrossed" with reading...I know just what you mean...the exact feeling...my wife had a friend in out of town and they were out for the evening...I was still strung pretty high from writing that post...and just needed to read it a couple of more times and read the responses that had come in.

    I had the movie Donnie Brasco playing in the background, sort of as "white noise."  But, I was so engrossed, that I muted the volume so I could concentrate...

    Time must have just flown by...they returned home and I still had my head buried in the crt screen...my wife goes "What's That?"  And I turned around and there on tv was one of those "After Dark" specials with a couple of folks on there just "wearin' it out."  If you know what I mean?  LOL! LOL! LOL!

    20 years ago would I have missed that?  LOL!  That's how engrossed I was - I totally get that. I'm sorry your coffee went cold...but I was on fire, right? LOL!

    Let's look at what happened...

    "Chelsea71" was checking out...and I mean in a big way...the whole essence of who and what you are was runnin'.  I've seen it in my wife, I know what it looks like...and I know what it sounds like too.  And so, we had some type of intervention that morning in the coffee shop...when I was joking around me about being the Skipper and heading you safely back towards shore...I hinted that you would be changed and different leaving - than you were when you arrived.

    You solidified that feeling in me...if only one gets it, then mission accomplished...we can't save everyone...but I've got my hand out to the ones that want to try with me.   

    And look at you!  Now, you want to 'pay it forward' too...it's clear to me that you got every single word I wrote...I'm just so proud of you!

    The GIFT was in our exchange...that's where the magic took place, Chels:) 

    And to an even larger extent....both of our healing...or at least the path towards healing...

    And we did that together...wasn't it great?

    Repurpose was a principle that we put into action - and it yielded the results of what I thought it could do if we adopted that belief.  It has universal applications to everything in our lives. 

    "We bypassed FDA approval - we skipped the Clinical Trials - and moved straight to Human Trials - we injected the Repurpose vaccine - and we experienced 100% positive response to that treatment. "

    Chels, does it really get any better than this?

    I showed your reply to the Lord...and I was wiping the tears out of my eyes, I told him, "See, a real difference has been made here...look what my Chels wrote..."

    I've been in discussions with Him on why if I can help...why can't I help with the book deal or something? 

    Until, they call my number, I still want to stay here and try and help as many as I can.

    You filled me up with so much Hope, Chels!  I write for you guys - I bleed for you guys!  I just love it when a real difference has been made.

    Pay It Forward, Darlin's...I'm counting on you:)

    And listen, strangely, I somehow feel like Steve is going to get better...at least much better than where he has been....some of that pain is going to go away...some normalcy will return...give him my love and tell him Hi for me. 

    I'm glad to be with you at this point in your life - thank you for allowing me in to get to know you:)

    -Craig

     

    Hi Craig,
    Just wanted to

    Hi Craig,

    Just wanted to thank you for the time you put into that piece. As we discussed, it could not have come at a better time for me. It did make a BIG difference for me. This latest bump in the road has been exceptionally challenging for me. (I realize it hasn't been a walk in the park for Steve either). Normally I cope well. I guess I'm getting tired. It's been a rough two months. I have actually found it be harder than the HIPEC experience, to put it into perspective. Enough whining. I also want to point out that your post has helped me repeatedly. So many ups and downs over the past few days. One step forward, two steps back. When I'm feeling discouraged, I read it. It motivates me. Back when Steve was diagnosed, I immediately turned to literature to help me come to terms with what was happening. You name it, I've read it. I'm always searching for that magical combination of words that will enlighten me and give me peace. Your posts have helped me more than any published material that I have come across. I know your day is coming soon. Don't give up. Thank you.

    Chels
  • Chelsea71
    Chelsea71 Member Posts: 1,169 Member
    Sundanceh said:

    Sundance & Punxatawney Phil...

    "Seers of Seers...and... Prognisticators of Progosticators"   Cool

    LOL! LOL! LOL!

    Dearest Chels,

    I've read many posts in my day, but yours hit me square where I live - my heart! 

    You talk about 'getting it.'  Well, you sure do! 

    Now, here's another story that might make the hair on the back of your neck stand up...but in a good way:)

    So, I didn't think I was going to finish the post last Friday...I had a couple of sections left...and then all the editing...I didn't want to rush it, because I thought it might be one of the last pieces I write here and I wanted it to be nice.  I was figuring on about Tuesday or Wednesday of the following week.

    But, something was nagging at me to finish it...something told me that folks would have more time and be able to more fully absorb this post on the weekend, rather than during the busy week that we all face...with jobs or without...with cancer...or without. 

    So, I worked through my lunch...and then decided to stay late after work to finish the doc up...I was talking to Marie as I was about to finally leave. 

    And look what happened!

    Here's another funny story...

    I got tickled when you said you were "Engrossed" with reading...I know just what you mean...the exact feeling...my wife had a friend in out of town and they were out for the evening...I was still strung pretty high from writing that post...and just needed to read it a couple of more times and read the responses that had come in.

    I had the movie Donnie Brasco playing in the background, sort of as "white noise."  But, I was so engrossed, that I muted the volume so I could concentrate...

    Time must have just flown by...they returned home and I still had my head buried in the crt screen...my wife goes "What's That?"  And I turned around and there on tv was one of those "After Dark" specials with a couple of folks on there just "wearin' it out."  If you know what I mean?  LOL! LOL! LOL!

    20 years ago would I have missed that?  LOL!  That's how engrossed I was - I totally get that. I'm sorry your coffee went cold...but I was on fire, right? LOL!

    Let's look at what happened...

    "Chelsea71" was checking out...and I mean in a big way...the whole essence of who and what you are was runnin'.  I've seen it in my wife, I know what it looks like...and I know what it sounds like too.  And so, we had some type of intervention that morning in the coffee shop...when I was joking around me about being the Skipper and heading you safely back towards shore...I hinted that you would be changed and different leaving - than you were when you arrived.

    You solidified that feeling in me...if only one gets it, then mission accomplished...we can't save everyone...but I've got my hand out to the ones that want to try with me.   

    And look at you!  Now, you want to 'pay it forward' too...it's clear to me that you got every single word I wrote...I'm just so proud of you!

    The GIFT was in our exchange...that's where the magic took place, Chels:) 

    And to an even larger extent....both of our healing...or at least the path towards healing...

    And we did that together...wasn't it great?

    Repurpose was a principle that we put into action - and it yielded the results of what I thought it could do if we adopted that belief.  It has universal applications to everything in our lives. 

    "We bypassed FDA approval - we skipped the Clinical Trials - and moved straight to Human Trials - we injected the Repurpose vaccine - and we experienced 100% positive response to that treatment. "

    Chels, does it really get any better than this?

    I showed your reply to the Lord...and I was wiping the tears out of my eyes, I told him, "See, a real difference has been made here...look what my Chels wrote..."

    I've been in discussions with Him on why if I can help...why can't I help with the book deal or something? 

    Until, they call my number, I still want to stay here and try and help as many as I can.

    You filled me up with so much Hope, Chels!  I write for you guys - I bleed for you guys!  I just love it when a real difference has been made.

    Pay It Forward, Darlin's...I'm counting on you:)

    And listen, strangely, I somehow feel like Steve is going to get better...at least much better than where he has been....some of that pain is going to go away...some normalcy will return...give him my love and tell him Hi for me. 

    I'm glad to be with you at this point in your life - thank you for allowing me in to get to know you:)

    -Craig

     

    Woops

    Woops