LOOKING for advise and encouragement

JUNE6764
JUNE6764 Member Posts: 19
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I suppose that I need to take one day a time, and not focus on all the negative reactions that my loving Papi- “T”, he will suffer.

How I'll be ready without over panic before he starts his treatment. I wonder if I’ll be ready to support him and give to him the right loving care.

I wonder if I’ll have the time to be ready for him, I’m with all my love and heart, but will be enough.

How be firm with him and loving in the same time, where are the suggestions to handle all the waves of this storm that don’t start yet.

I need all the recommendations to manage this ship and go on in this storm with the help of you and the hand of God sure we’ll do.

I’ll be glad to hear from you because we are together in this battle with same enemy.

Feel free to replay; hoping you understand my English, my mother language is Spanish I’m from the middle of world Ecuador.

Artist in heart and hands with my love to give as my dreams to my loving Papi, take almost half of my life to find him, and now we are together living this challenge situations where the faith, is in my heart as a rock that we’ll do it.

"Life is whisper of melodies where anxious wait for magical events".

«13

Comments

  • ditto1
    ditto1 Member Posts: 660
    #2
    Hey June

    Sorry you had to find this site but it will be a God Send to get you and Papi thru this.   You may wish to give more information as to what he was diagnoised with so folks that have the same or similiar cancer can offer there thoughts.  I had Base of Tongue cancer from March of 2012.  I had 33 radiations treatments and 2 cisplatin chemos as well a 9 erbitux chemos.  Made it thru ok, it was tough at times but I made it and Im supposedly cancer free for now.  I did not need a Peg or Port but many likely most going thru this did.  So we will be here for you.  You may also get lots of information from the Super Thread which is the first post its for information purpose only not to post on.  So after reviewing it if you have questions please present them and trust me you will get answers or clarification.

  • zaac23
    zaac23 Member Posts: 27
    #3
    advise

    ONE DAY AT A TIME

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #4
    Beautiful words !

    Hello there !

    Your post touched my heart deeply !  Welcome to our site. Keep asking questions, and continue to love your Papi "T".....he is a very lucky man to have you in his life !   Katie

  • fishmanpa
    fishmanpa Member Posts: 1,227 Member
    #5
    ditto1 said:

    Hey June

    Sorry you had to find this site but it will be a God Send to get you and Papi thru this.   You may wish to give more information as to what he was diagnoised with so folks that have the same or similiar cancer can offer there thoughts.  I had Base of Tongue cancer from March of 2012.  I had 33 radiations treatments and 2 cisplatin chemos as well a 9 erbitux chemos.  Made it thru ok, it was tough at times but I made it and Im supposedly cancer free for now.  I did not need a Peg or Port but many likely most going thru this did.  So we will be here for you.  You may also get lots of information from the Super Thread which is the first post its for information purpose only not to post on.  So after reviewing it if you have questions please present them and trust me you will get answers or clarification.

    Alias "T"'s Marcia

    Hi Ditto,

    June is my Chiquita, Marcia. I posted a thread the other day concerning her welfare and well being as my caregiver. I encouraged her to reach out as everyone here has been awesome. 

    Thanks for reaching back!

    "T"

    Tx N2b MO Stg IV - Surgery to remove tumor, excise left BOT lesion/biopsy, and laryngoscopy (again) Feb 7th. Goal is to find primary. Treatment to start 4-6 weeks afterwards. 6-7 weeks rads with possible weekly chemo (Cisplatin). 

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #6
    T-Bone...

    Welcome June...

    With words as yours, I can very well see a possibility of putting lyrics to the T-Man's music....

    Best ~ John

  • NJShore
    NJShore Member Posts: 429 Member
    #7
    bienvenidos!

    June,

    so glad you've joined us, hola!

    i know how you feel, I have been there - don't worry, you'll know what to do and how to help him...

    When we are faced with huge challenges, we learn how to get through it one day a time, one task at a time. You will do very well. And we will be here for both of you whenever you need us!

    bienvenidos!

    Kari

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #8
    Should I call you June....or

    Marcia??  You answered much of your question yourself.  One day at a time is the only way to go with this disease.  I know it's hard to stay in the day, but you'll have many days to practice this skill...sometimes it's one hour at a time....you will do fine, I just know it!!  T knows that you love and care for him, so when you have to get tough, he'll know it's all because you love him.

    Stick close to this site, so you can ask questions....there is so much practical knowledge here!  You won't be led astray...everybody here has gone thru treatment either themselves or as a caregiver. 

    Oh....and welcome!!  I'm so glad you decided to speak up!

    p

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,722 Member
    #9
    caregiver 101

    Hi Marcia,

     

    So you were the lady holding Socrates, what a BIG beautiful cat.

     

    You will do fine, your boy T has quizzed us to the point he is ready to be a very nice patient.  We opened up the floodgates of information to him and we would be happy to help you in any way we can.

     

    Best,

     

    Matt

  • fisrpotpe
    fisrpotpe Member Posts: 1,349 Member
    #10
    Welcome

    Welcome, sorry you have had to join us

    my suggestions are

    - there is nothing you can say.... just be there, smile, and be positive with all your words

    - this is Papi's was and your with him to win his daily battles... when he wins his daily battles he will win the war

    - encourge friends and family to send cards to Papi, they don't have to write anything just their name.... that will be enough as he will be thrilled that someone has taken the time just to send the card.

    - for yourself.... Believe all will be fine and all will be fine. 

    just by taking the time to come here show how much you care and love your Papi

    john 

  • Ingrid K
    Ingrid K Member Posts: 813
    #11
    fisrpotpe said:

    Welcome

    Welcome, sorry you have had to join us

    my suggestions are

    - there is nothing you can say.... just be there, smile, and be positive with all your words

    - this is Papi's was and your with him to win his daily battles... when he wins his daily battles he will win the war

    - encourge friends and family to send cards to Papi, they don't have to write anything just their name.... that will be enough as he will be thrilled that someone has taken the time just to send the card.

    - for yourself.... Believe all will be fine and all will be fine. 

    just by taking the time to come here show how much you care and love your Papi

    john 

    Hello Marcia and WELCOME...

    Hello Marcia and WELCOME...

    Glad you are there to support the T-Man.  He is very lucky to have you in his life.  Sounds like you both know the path you are about to walk down.  It will be a battle for sure, but it is very doable.  You will be a terrific caregiver.  We have given T-Man lots of advice, so when it is time to be tough on him, just do it.

    If you haven't already done so, check out the Super Thread on the first page here.  It is full of helpful tips and tools to help you both get thru the next few months.  And know that you have a huge support network here whenever you need us.  Don't hesitate to ask questions...we are happy to help.

    Good Luck to you both.

    Ingrid

    Stage III, tongue cancer. Surgery 1/3/11 to remove 70% of tongue and replaced with forearm freeflap, 30 days of radiation, no chemo. all clear since.

     

  • sassysrice
    sassysrice Member Posts: 117
    #12
    Welcome

    My boyfriend has SCC Base of Tongue cancer since Oct of 2012.  He has 5 of 35 radiations treatments left and 3 cisplatin chemos as well a 3 erbitux chemos. He is doing well. No PEG-his dr wanted him to keep swallowing the whole timethe throat can get lazy if not used. But some people need it. He carries a water bottle around everywhere and takes sips all the time. His mouth is very dry and not hurts (on fire) Muguard is a great thing to help coat the mouth and thoart. Je does salt water and baking soda now. We just got a rc for magic mouthwash.  He eats tiny meals all day, a cup yogurt, some eggs, pudding, shakes made with ensure, protien powder, ice cream & banana's,mac/cheese/spanish rice(which is good a lot of flavor) With rads your taste buds get damaged -so no taste. that comes back in time.  He has lost about 17 pounds-which the Dr is happy with since they said in the beginning he might lose 40-45.

    What I do is just be there, make foods that are soft and flavorful, make sure he takes pain meds before the pain gets to bad.

    Keep visiting and keep in touch. This site is a godsend-many great people I would call my unmet friends and family

    Sue

  • sassysrice
    sassysrice Member Posts: 117
    #13
    Welcome

    My boyfriend has SCC Base of Tongue cancer since Oct of 2012.  He has 5 of 35 radiations treatments left and 3 cisplatin chemos as well a 3 erbitux chemos. He is doing well. No PEG-his dr wanted him to keep swallowing the whole timethe throat can get lazy if not used. But some people need it. He carries a water bottle around everywhere and takes sips all the time. His mouth is very dry and not hurts (on fire) Muguard is a great thing to help coat the mouth and thoart. Je does salt water and baking soda now. We just got a rc for magic mouthwash.  He eats tiny meals all day, a cup yogurt, some eggs, pudding, shakes made with ensure, protien powder, ice cream & banana's,mac/cheese/spanish rice(which is good a lot of flavor) With rads your taste buds get damaged -so no taste. that comes back in time.  He has lost about 17 pounds-which the Dr is happy with since they said in the beginning he might lose 40-45.

    What I do is just be there, make foods that are soft and flavorful, make sure he takes pain meds before the pain gets to bad.

    Keep visiting and keep in touch. This site is a godsend-many great people I would call my unmet friends and family

    Sue

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #14
    I was thinking today...

    about the things that helped me get thru treatment, aside from the Dr.'s and the moral support I got here....but the physical things i had around me...and came up with MILK.  Yes...moo juice.....I hadn't drank milk in 30 years, but once treatment hit about the 3rd week, I had milk in the refrigertor at all times.  I could taste it when I could taste nothing else....I could mix it with foods that otherwise would be too sticky or thick.....I used it to thin out the Boost that I poured down my tube.  I went thru about a gallon every two days.  It's the perfect partner it's got lots of calories, it mixes well...and for some reason it can be tasted long after other things have gone to the tasteless list.

    p

  • ToBeGolden
    ToBeGolden Member Posts: 695
    #15
    Welcome

    Happy that you found this message board. We do care about one another. Your English is fine, and your words do show your love for your father. As much as possible, try to keep him eating and drinking water. I found that food/drink at body temperature was less painful than either hot or cold foods/drinks. Not certain it will work for your Papi. However, warming food/drink (like you were giving it in a bottle to a baby) may be worth a try. But that's a little later. Take care. Rick.

  • JUNE6764
    JUNE6764 Member Posts: 19
    #16
    ditto1 said:

    Hey June

    Sorry you had to find this site but it will be a God Send to get you and Papi thru this.   You may wish to give more information as to what he was diagnoised with so folks that have the same or similiar cancer can offer there thoughts.  I had Base of Tongue cancer from March of 2012.  I had 33 radiations treatments and 2 cisplatin chemos as well a 9 erbitux chemos.  Made it thru ok, it was tough at times but I made it and Im supposedly cancer free for now.  I did not need a Peg or Port but many likely most going thru this did.  So we will be here for you.  You may also get lots of information from the Super Thread which is the first post its for information purpose only not to post on.  So after reviewing it if you have questions please present them and trust me you will get answers or clarification.

    thanks.

    Hi ditto, we are waiting for his surgery and results after that, to continue with the specidic treatment, they need to take more example of tissu and

    the doctor will removal the nodulo of his neck, after all that result we'll have the specific plan for him.

  • JUNE6764
    JUNE6764 Member Posts: 19
    #17
    katenorwood said:

    Beautiful words !

    Hello there !

    Your post touched my heart deeply !  Welcome to our site. Keep asking questions, and continue to love your Papi "T".....he is a very lucky man to have you in his life !   Katie

    Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!...

    Hi Katy, so sweet to said that to me, you are a very nice women, 

    we all are in a big storm now, but God will help us to swing in, he's

    the only one that will help us, blessings for you!

    june

  • JUNE6764
    JUNE6764 Member Posts: 19
    #18
    Skiffin16 said:

    T-Bone...

    Welcome June...

    With words as yours, I can very well see a possibility of putting lyrics to the T-Man's music....

    Best ~ John

    thank you..=)

    thanks to be welcoming T-Bone and with all here in this site.

    My Papi, is ready the sinfony in my live, for now we are in the big silens of suspencce.

    As we'll manage all will return with most armonious melody, as partners, lovers and 

    friends that we are together.

  • JUNE6764
    JUNE6764 Member Posts: 19
    #19
    NJShore said:

    bienvenidos!

    June,

    so glad you've joined us, hola!

    i know how you feel, I have been there - don't worry, you'll know what to do and how to help him...

    When we are faced with huge challenges, we learn how to get through it one day a time, one task at a time. You will do very well. And we will be here for both of you whenever you need us!

    bienvenidos!

    Kari

    GRACIAS!

    Hi Kari,

    thanks for your words, i been preocupay if I'll be anough for all and manage his

    care, and do all right and perfect, be as you said is and will be a challenge and

    I'll have all together day by day, and every task I'll be able to manage, with 

    the help of yours I sure will be fine, Thanks...

    June

  • JUNE6764
    JUNE6764 Member Posts: 19
    #20
    phrannie51 said:

    Should I call you June....or

    Marcia??  You answered much of your question yourself.  One day at a time is the only way to go with this disease.  I know it's hard to stay in the day, but you'll have many days to practice this skill...sometimes it's one hour at a time....you will do fine, I just know it!!  T knows that you love and care for him, so when you have to get tough, he'll know it's all because you love him.

    Stick close to this site, so you can ask questions....there is so much practical knowledge here!  You won't be led astray...everybody here has gone thru treatment either themselves or as a caregiver. 

    Oh....and welcome!!  I'm so glad you decided to speak up!

    p

    You could call me Marci...

    Hi P, 

    thank you, yes I'll be a new student as caregiver, I really I care a lot my honey loving Papi,

    and only think I don't want mistakes with him, but I'll have the support of all here, so my

    approach of knowledge of the people from here, will be my tool to faith and care with his treatment.

    Thanks again,

    Blessing to you!

    Marci

  • JUNE6764
    JUNE6764 Member Posts: 19
    #21
    CivilMatt said:

    caregiver 101

    Hi Marcia,

     

    So you were the lady holding Socrates, what a BIG beautiful cat.

     

    You will do fine, your boy T has quizzed us to the point he is ready to be a very nice patient.  We opened up the floodgates of information to him and we would be happy to help you in any way we can.

     

    Best,

     

    Matt

    thank you..=)

    Hi Matt,

    I been student in different situations, only this a little challege, but here with the support

    I'll become brave to embraze and do my best, caring all true his treatments, besides

    if I have questions, somebody here will reach my hand and will give me the right answer,

    I'm very happy that i'm not alone in this battle.

     

    blessings,

    Marci

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