Happiness after cancer?

Gratitude for being alive and moving towards healthy does have a way of making us see things different.  What is truly important becomes clearer....Your epiphany while you were sick, appears to have made family the priority.....good for you!!

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igloo3232,

Each of us had to go through the door marked “cancer” and each of us have had a life changing experience.  I would like to (think) that going forward I will make better, more thoughtful and soul felt decisions.

I hope your future (life) decisions work out in your favor.  You know, having gone through cancer it sure is a tough way to learn something.

Welcome to the H&N forum.

Best and happy,

Matt

Everyone faces different challenges and changes when he/she goes through the diagnosis and treatments. I came out of it trying to figure out what would help me reconnect with life and with the person I really wanted to be. Some of the changes were internal--I'm determined to follow through on some personal projects (like art). Some of the changes were external--I want to continue losing weight, and I'm making some job and lifestyle changes.

Give yourself some time and space to work through the issues and to sort out how you've changed. It helps a lot to talk to someone, whether that's an honest friend or a therapist, just to force yourself to externalize some of what you're thinking and feeling. Don't make any decisions right away. I felt like I wanted to make a change in my job right away, and I probably would have jumped into an opportunity right off if one had presented itself to me. Given a couple months to really figure things out, I realized I wanted to follow my heart and make an even bigger change than I had been considering. I don't think I was in the right place so soon after treatments to really think it through. I definitely needed some time to work it out.

Good luck and congratulations on reaching the other side. It sometimes seems like life keeps piling things on... but you know what? You're still here. :-)

My journey unfortunately has taken me from what I thought would be years of NED to METS to my lungs and mediastynum. I have found out from a combination of the "school of hard knocks", advice from family, friends, therapists and especially here at CSN, one can find some degree of happiness no matter what their current situation may be. Even with my new battle with the beast, I am slowly able to find some happiness and some content with my situation. With my 22 month run of NED, I was planning to attack life head on regarding my career, my personal life ETC. Now the game has changed and rather than running the ball into the end zone, I have decided to punt the ball away and re group when I get the  ball back. What is important now is finding a way to slow way down, leave my high stress job that I have loved for over 20 years, get all of the stress out of my life that I can get rid of, and whatever stress is left, I will learn to deal with it on my terms.

In short, I am going to create an environment for myself that is conducive to keeping this new cancer at bay for as long as possible, and stress will only give cancer an unfair advantage to try to beat me down early. Everyone's situation is different, so you must be able to find happiness in a way that works for you.

Mike

igloo3232 said:

Thank you for everyone's well wishes and thoughtful advice

As one of the poster's said this is the new normal for me and I need to begin accepting the fact it's a long road to full recovery and even then, I'll always have to live with the fact I'm a canceR survivor. I do want to comment to the gentleman who has seen his cancer return after a brief remission period. My heart and thoughts are with you. I do hope I can be cancer free for a long time since I'm relatively young -- 46. Please be strong again fighting another battle. I hope you win. 

igloo3232,

I tend to simplify things in my head. It may seem a bit selfish, but if you are not happy, it may show and rub off, so, try to be happy.

A little thing I do as I shave each morning is ask myself this. "Can I be a better person then I was yesterday?". It may not always work, but I try to be a kinder and nicer person then I was the day before. Don't let the little things bother you, and the bigger things you will work out with less stress.

My Best to You and Everyone Here

alaskanjan said:

Wisdom

I never will cease to be impressed with the wisdom and insight of the folks that post on the Cancer Survivors Net.  I am a caregiver and from my perspective I am in awe of the strenght that each of you exhibit.  One thing that cancer seems to do to us is to make us appreciate the little things, the little moments and the recognition that we need to all make the most of our lives and do the things we want to do while we can.  I will never take my life or my husbands' for granted now and we both realize that every day is a gift.  It was one year ago that my husband started the second phase of his treatment, radiation that followed chemo for BOT cancer.  So far each three month checkup has been clear and I pray his next in January will be.  May God Bless You all and I wish for all of you a Happy and Healthier 2013!

and for more clean and clear scans for the Januarys to come...

Best ~ John

Hi Igloo,

I'm new to this site and this is my first post.  I can relate to your story. I was negeotiating a divorce when last May I was diagnosed with stage III nasopharyngeal cancer.  I recieved 33 radiation treatments concurrent with Cisplatin. Then consolidation treatment with Cisplatin and 5 FU. I finished my last radiation tx on 8/9/2012 and my last chemo 10/18/2012. As you know, the treatment is quite challenging and I had no time to really think. Just get through day to day. I found that when I completed treatment, and had a clean PET CT I did not necessarily feel overjoyed despite the good news. I felt overwhelming sadness. I think i had not had a chance to process the experience of losing everything familiar to me in a split second and dropped into another universe. I was busy surving the treatment. I am fortunately moving from that place to a place where you seem to be moving. I wonder if anyone else has had this experience.

God Bless

Cindy